I 'broke open my head' 4 times with pure (98%) ibogaine hydrocloride in the purpose of heroin withdrawal ...
I don't feel very inspired today, next time I'll tell you more about it (if you like), I was on very high dosage, one time it was almost too high - it took me a week to recover ...
It's an unearthly drug, the worlds you see with it are unique and typical for ibogaine - for me every time was completely different, but some things are always the same, one could define it as a typical realm of iboga plant teacher ...
The shit is, I repeat - it takes you a long time to recover - as Shulgin says (have you read Pihkal or Tihkal? he also tried ibogaine but not in the trance inducing dose - just a little - but he stil says - like for none of the very many triptamines he tried - 'I don't know if the experience is worth a heavy attack on your central nervous system! NO SLEEP. NO SLEEP AT ALL'
Insomnia is a huge problem after the initiation with ibogaine - one feels very tired, and there's, as Shulgin says 'no sleep AT ALL' for several days - one feels just as if his/her center for sleep has been distorted, one is afraid he's never going to sleep again!!!
But till it lasts, it's unreal - it comes in waves of electricity plus warmth - you feel number and MORE AWARE each time - like you're coming home - and then at some point, when you close your eyes, the visions start to come and go, like on a parade - you can even control them - until you fall into trance ... But many things you do remember after it ...
The next day the 'electricity' is still not gone - you're half awake - in some weird state - and you still get pictures - but it feeld unreal, different - feels real but it's not real, and vice versa ... it's very difficult to decribe it ... One example - the 2nd time I took it, I got voices from some radio station somewhere in America, where people were calling the studio and talking (it was a kind of a late night show) about Salvia Divnorum ... Each piece of my pillow was a different voice ... I heard them in my head!
The 3rd time I took it I was sure I spent some time in my friend's home, and it was strange because I was sure she lives elsewhere ... later on it turned out it was only a vision, I was never at her place, she doesn't even live there where I 'put her' ...
The 4rth time I dragged the spaceship from Kubrick's Odyssey 2001 all around the bed, it was somehow in my head ...
The 1st time I had visions of my junkie friend and his gray face and his wounds rotting and falling apart ...
THESE VISIONS I MENTIONED CAME ONLY AFTER THE TRANCE
Later on I realized that in the after-trance state you come under the influence of the things you did or did think about BEFORE the initiation.
But during the trance I saw the most marvellous things I think I'll ever see in my life ... Maybe with ayahuasca ... I don't know, I still have/want to try it ...
For example, the vision of the magic forest on my second ibogaine session was the most wonderful vision, combined with most ecstatic and paradise-like feeling I have ever experienced! It was an autumn forest of gigantic trees with mild unearthly light raying through the branches. I was there with the man I love (I don't know who that might be) and my two children. As we moved through the forest, every breath and every leaf of grass or branch I touched, was filling me with ecstasy. I was breathing in and out and almost cumming ... Not 'almost', every breath in and out was a psychic and bodily orgasm, I never felt anything similar - I was in heaven! I gave my children some fruit I picked from a tree, and as they sucked on the juicy fruit, I felt ecstasy with their each movement - like the fruit, and the leaves, and everything about this forest was HEALING, the healing powewr of nature!!! And it brought me to ecstasy, it made me feel like no ecstasy pill could ever make me ...
Wow!
I'm still looking for this forest, only when I find it I'll be satisfied ... that will mean I have found paradise, somewhere on Earth maybe ...???
!
