Jahvisions a dit:
Nice to hear the trip went well. I don't understand you do it more often. I'll try to do it once in 6 or 8 weeks. I think your ego grows after a while and sometimes fall back in old habbits. You don't have to trip always with high dose it's just an different experience. At one trip I take a heavy dose and use it to solve my problems and come back to myself, but for me it also works to have an lighter dose and communicate with my girlfriend or other friends. But you must do where you feel comfartable with.
Thanks Jah, I WILL do what I feel comfortable with. And I know what you are saying. The past 15+ years I have had times where I tripped biweekly, or monthly, yearly etc. and I always recognized that I needed to keep doing that to stay sane/. This time I have no fear WHATSOEVER, that I will fall back into old habits. This realization is something I visualized even long before I took any drugs. The night I have described here for you guys was literally the trip of my life because it was like all lessons I had ever heard but not understood, came before me and became truth. I started to OWN those lessons.
This one is not about needing your guys advice (although I LOVE it anyway so keep it coming ;) ), there is no need for need. There is no need for more trips, although I definitaly will do them in the future. Why not? Why not remember and remember and remamber again?
In this GREAT experience which I was blessed to witness, at some point I was able to KNOW how I, created each and every teacher/character/person in my world (this happened right after I was at that place where all live starts and which stands outside of the illusion of birth and being reborn endlessly. So when I saw this, how I created it all, including my ex girlfriend in every detail, I felt so complete humble, because if I had created all of this, who was this I looking through my eyes right now?
That makes you humble, believe me, and simultaneously, it made me realize that how in Gods name, could I ever feel anything but love for HIS creations. His being me being you being everyone you see? And I already knew that, I read it, heard it, saw it even on earlier trips, but now I OWNED it. I felt so grateful. I realized at once that whatever I 'loose' in life, is only going to be replaced by a new experience. And the one who is cooking it up, makes a lot of sense. So if I follow the rules of this game (BE love is the short version), then I will allow that great being that peeked through my eyes that trip, manifest all the great things it has planned for me.
I really can't write enough about it, its only starting to make more sense each and every day. And don't even think I'm on some delusional mind fuck, I've had those before and know what they are.
This is about complete change, I've been wanting this so bad for so long and now it happened. And I will surely trip more, never need it, always love it ;)
petfles a dit:
(HC, forgive me if i ask the wrong question, but how is everything going with your kids?)
There are no wrong questions and thanks for asking ;)
How it goes, I've been in contact via mail a little but I'm now actually planning to go there (France) and finally work things out with my ex. There is no reason (anymore), why that should fail. The actual planning is at the stage where I wait for the one to go with me by car, lets me know which dates are possible. Its happening this month.
