Caduceus Mercurius
Holofractale de l'hypervérité
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- 14/7/07
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The following is my report of the trip I had the day before yesterday, Thursday, September 17 2009. The blotters were of unknown strength, but on the basis of a previous experiment with three blotters, I figured they were between 50 and 70 ug each.
Inside the infinite circle of the Divine Presence which completely surounds me, I affirm:
There is only one Presence here, it is Harmony, which makes all hearts vibrate with Joy and Happiness. Those who choose to enter here wil feel the vibration of the Divine Harmony.
There is only one Presence here, it is Love. God is Love, which embraces all beings in one feeling of unity. This place is filled with the presence of Love. In love I live, I move, I exist. Those who choose to enter here will feel the pure and holy presence of Love.
She continued with several more verses, about Justice etc. While she spoke those words, over and over in a very serious voice, it ceased to be the voice of my ex, but became the voice of God, or the Goddess. I immediately entered a luminous, sacred space, and then experienced a very overwhelming encounter with a very, very powerful and intelligent force I cannot possibly describe. When I realized this force had arranged it such that I experienced God and these unusual aspects of myself by the arrangement of my ex reciting a Santo Daime prayer to me, well, I was overjoyed and struck with awe. I understood the power that was invested in the incantation, and recognized it as a manifestation of the divine intelligence itself, and I understood that whoever wrote that incantation must have had very deep realizations. I saw my children as manifestations of this same cosmic arrangement. Every now and then I realized it was actually my ex speaking these verses to me from her living room, so exhilerated I urged her to continue. This must have taken place around 13:30, indeed right after the above-mentioned Venus transit. I guess it lasted about two or three minutes, but it was definitely the most intensely sacred experience I ever had in my life.
Notice the elements of Venus present in the peak experience: the voice of a woman reciting an incantation about Joy, Harmony, Love, Happiness and Justice, all qualities of Venus.
After a while I hung up the phone and the visions became quite a bit darker. I thought of the different kinds of suffering in the world, accidents, deformed limbs, pollution, old age, death and things like that. I didn't resist these images in any way, although when one of these thoughts or visions seemed to freeze to a standstill, I started feeling quite uncomfortable. There was no panic however, no getting up, no faster breathing or anything like that. Indeed, throughout this darker episode I was aware I had just experienced God in a marvelous way, so was feeling quite content.
But in my 'confusion' I did perceive myself in need of help, and somehow told Kasia "send help", and she then contacted my employer. And so twenty minutes later the phone rang and to my surprise it was Shroomlady, asking how I was doing. I said I was doing fine, and that I was surprised Kasia had contacted her. She told me that if I did feel uncomfortable, she/they would come over. I assured her I was fine, and laid down in the dark again, now putting on sitar music.
Of the above-mentioned prayer, most impressive to me was the line "Those who choose to enter here..." Whenever that was said I indeed entered a deeper, more illuminated space.
The rest of the trip I remained a bit gloomy, thinking about how much I crave for sacred experiences like the one I had just had. I had no sensuous or sensual feelings whatsoever. I remember looking up to the light above my head, and seeing a whole swarm of luminescent insects flying around it, only that in reality there were no insects there at all. Around 20:00 I listened to a lecture by Stan Grof for a couple of minutes, and then went to the park, where I sat for about half an hour listening to Hawkwind's Xenon Codex, amusingly but realistically mistaking an airplane for a UFO for a couple of seconds (Moon square Neptune: confusion).
Around 22:00 I felt sober again, but remained awake until about 2:00 in the morning.
So everything went as planned. In the morning I made some final preparations (mattrasses in all the rooms of my house, some final cleaning and showering), drank a little Amanita tea, and at exactly 12:00 I placed the first four blotters on my tongue. I continued preparing a bit, and half an hour later took the fifth blotter. In the morning I had spoken with Kasia (the mother of my children), and she told me she would find it interesting if I called her when I'm tripping. A couple of months ago she started drinking ayahuasca twice or thrice a month, but has no experience with acid. I said I might, or might not, depending on my state of mind. We ended the conversation and I laid down in the dark. After a short while I drifted into a dreamy state and then realized I was tripping. I had some slowmotion visions of how I navigate and create existence by the use of the color spectrum, or something like that... In any case I was immersed in visions of rainbows. I had difficulty finding suitable music, and so decided to call Kasia instead, and after a short talk about the effects I was experiencing, I was quickly becoming quite disoriented as far as space and time were concerned,. When it became obvious that I couldn't really understand what was going on anymore, she got her Santo Daime songbook, and started reciting the following incantation, first a few lines in Portuguese (which I could understand), then in English:Caduceus Mercurius a dit:
Inside the infinite circle of the Divine Presence which completely surounds me, I affirm:
There is only one Presence here, it is Harmony, which makes all hearts vibrate with Joy and Happiness. Those who choose to enter here wil feel the vibration of the Divine Harmony.
There is only one Presence here, it is Love. God is Love, which embraces all beings in one feeling of unity. This place is filled with the presence of Love. In love I live, I move, I exist. Those who choose to enter here will feel the pure and holy presence of Love.
She continued with several more verses, about Justice etc. While she spoke those words, over and over in a very serious voice, it ceased to be the voice of my ex, but became the voice of God, or the Goddess. I immediately entered a luminous, sacred space, and then experienced a very overwhelming encounter with a very, very powerful and intelligent force I cannot possibly describe. When I realized this force had arranged it such that I experienced God and these unusual aspects of myself by the arrangement of my ex reciting a Santo Daime prayer to me, well, I was overjoyed and struck with awe. I understood the power that was invested in the incantation, and recognized it as a manifestation of the divine intelligence itself, and I understood that whoever wrote that incantation must have had very deep realizations. I saw my children as manifestations of this same cosmic arrangement. Every now and then I realized it was actually my ex speaking these verses to me from her living room, so exhilerated I urged her to continue. This must have taken place around 13:30, indeed right after the above-mentioned Venus transit. I guess it lasted about two or three minutes, but it was definitely the most intensely sacred experience I ever had in my life.
Notice the elements of Venus present in the peak experience: the voice of a woman reciting an incantation about Joy, Harmony, Love, Happiness and Justice, all qualities of Venus.
After a while I hung up the phone and the visions became quite a bit darker. I thought of the different kinds of suffering in the world, accidents, deformed limbs, pollution, old age, death and things like that. I didn't resist these images in any way, although when one of these thoughts or visions seemed to freeze to a standstill, I started feeling quite uncomfortable. There was no panic however, no getting up, no faster breathing or anything like that. Indeed, throughout this darker episode I was aware I had just experienced God in a marvelous way, so was feeling quite content.
But in my 'confusion' I did perceive myself in need of help, and somehow told Kasia "send help", and she then contacted my employer. And so twenty minutes later the phone rang and to my surprise it was Shroomlady, asking how I was doing. I said I was doing fine, and that I was surprised Kasia had contacted her. She told me that if I did feel uncomfortable, she/they would come over. I assured her I was fine, and laid down in the dark again, now putting on sitar music.
Of the above-mentioned prayer, most impressive to me was the line "Those who choose to enter here..." Whenever that was said I indeed entered a deeper, more illuminated space.
The rest of the trip I remained a bit gloomy, thinking about how much I crave for sacred experiences like the one I had just had. I had no sensuous or sensual feelings whatsoever. I remember looking up to the light above my head, and seeing a whole swarm of luminescent insects flying around it, only that in reality there were no insects there at all. Around 20:00 I listened to a lecture by Stan Grof for a couple of minutes, and then went to the park, where I sat for about half an hour listening to Hawkwind's Xenon Codex, amusingly but realistically mistaking an airplane for a UFO for a couple of seconds (Moon square Neptune: confusion).
Around 22:00 I felt sober again, but remained awake until about 2:00 in the morning.
