I can imagine that would put you into unique mental state. People having surgery done on them without anesthetics can go into kind of delirious / catatonic state from the pain. I've seen a horrible video of a baby being circumcised and he's screaming and crying so much it sounds like he's going to suffocate himself. Then, after about ten minutes, starts staring off wide eyed, no doubt in a similar state from the pain. That's fine if adults want to do that to themselves, but it's torturous mutilation when forced on someone who can't even answer back; someone who has to be strapped down.
You might want to try doing some running. If you like extreme feelings, try doing it every night until you can out run the local running clubs and be flying along faster than the traffic, uphill.
I've made myself throw up from overheating whilst running and worn a tendon out of a groove in my ankle.
But a few times, once I got really good at it, I'd be running along on a clear cool night with my IDM on and it'd feel remarkably close to a handful of pills. The feeling of being entirely disconnected, yet perfectly in control, and everything flowing perfectly; every movement and breath in time.
If you start doing it every night, you can get your metabolism cooking so quickly you'll actually stay permanently warm to the touch compared to other people and not be able to stand still. Combining it with some skipping will enhance the effect. You find yourself not being able to stand still and being more charged up than you would on amphetamine. That can also cause you to have similar sleepless nights; I used to have MAJOR difficulty with sleep.
I used to absolutely loathe running and would walk the runs at school. At the peak of my self enforced running (which took some supreme dedication to go out in sub zero temperatures, in the rain and gale force wind, in shorts that looked ancient Greek boxers and a t-shirt that was paper thin), I was dominating everyone. It became like your self made tattooing experience, being right on the balance of collapsing and throwing up, yet still keeping it at a speed where I could maintain it for half an hour or more.
The feeling you get from knowing you're doing something others can't, and far better than they could if they tried, is pretty nice as well.
Running became everything to me as a way to dump stress. But I did it so hard, the tendon in my ankle needs surgery on it before it'll stop clicking out of it's groove; which will wear through it. That put me into a serious downer when that fucked up.
You might want to try doing some running. If you like extreme feelings, try doing it every night until you can out run the local running clubs and be flying along faster than the traffic, uphill.
I've made myself throw up from overheating whilst running and worn a tendon out of a groove in my ankle.
But a few times, once I got really good at it, I'd be running along on a clear cool night with my IDM on and it'd feel remarkably close to a handful of pills. The feeling of being entirely disconnected, yet perfectly in control, and everything flowing perfectly; every movement and breath in time.
If you start doing it every night, you can get your metabolism cooking so quickly you'll actually stay permanently warm to the touch compared to other people and not be able to stand still. Combining it with some skipping will enhance the effect. You find yourself not being able to stand still and being more charged up than you would on amphetamine. That can also cause you to have similar sleepless nights; I used to have MAJOR difficulty with sleep.
I used to absolutely loathe running and would walk the runs at school. At the peak of my self enforced running (which took some supreme dedication to go out in sub zero temperatures, in the rain and gale force wind, in shorts that looked ancient Greek boxers and a t-shirt that was paper thin), I was dominating everyone. It became like your self made tattooing experience, being right on the balance of collapsing and throwing up, yet still keeping it at a speed where I could maintain it for half an hour or more.
The feeling you get from knowing you're doing something others can't, and far better than they could if they tried, is pretty nice as well.
Running became everything to me as a way to dump stress. But I did it so hard, the tendon in my ankle needs surgery on it before it'll stop clicking out of it's groove; which will wear through it. That put me into a serious downer when that fucked up.
