One Step Farther

[restin]

This is a reply threat to Maras beautiful one.

I got tired lying to my parents, I also felt uncomfortable with that, so I decided to confess my use of cannabis.

I hoped to earn understanding, of course I knew that she would be shocked or so but I didn't expect that reaction.

So, today, when my mother came home, I gave her a bunch of papers with evidence of the propaganda of cannabis. She looked at it and said: Why are you giving me that? Do you want to say you use cannabis?

I took all my force and said: yes.

First she was shocked, then emotional and ended up going to work crying.

She didn't even touch the papers.

She didn't listen to what I wanted to say.

She just begged me to stop. I got very emotional, too.

She said I was such a good boy. I asked if I was an evil one now. She said yes.

She said I was an addict, that I should stop, asked if it was too late, said I should go to a doctor, to cure my addiction. I said I wasn't addicted. You can't be addicted my cannabis. This was my active choice, it helped me to live. She did't listen, asked what I missed in my life, said that that was the reason I was so pale lately (that was because I hanged at home for the last 2 weeks), and she only begged me to stop.

This was kinda hard for me. This surely doesn't help my state of mind.

I only can hope that what GOD said was right: that somewhen we will earn when wi seeded something good and we only have to wait...

 

[gammagoblin]

Well, I can only tell you you did the right thing, please keep in mind you're not wrong .

 

[Lion]

maybe you should watch the movie 'Blow'.

Same thing with Jung and his mother who calls the police.

 

[Meduzz]

There is a dutch saying "eerlijkheid duurt het langst", honesty takes the most time.

 

[restin]

thank you.

maybe you should watch the movie 'Blow'.

Saw it but didn't remember this part. If I will be missing, you know where to find me :wink:

 

[Lion]

There is a dutch saying "eerlijkheid duurt het langst", honesty takes the most time.

honesty lasts longest

 

[Meduzz]

Bad translation imo, but yes, when it's established it lasts forever.
Honesty is not easy

 

[VerusDeus]

You have to understand why your mother reacted shocked. I mean the war on drugs propaganda really has had a lot of influence on people. For your mom it's probably hard to be open-minded about this, because she only sees this as the first step on the slippery slope.

It will be hard to get your mother to listen to you, because everything you say can be interpreted as the exact opposite. for example: I use it because it gives more depth to my spiritual life, she'll hear I do this because without it I get depressed.

The only reason to let her immediately notice how wrong she is right now in comdemning it so bad, is to have her smoke a reefer, which I don't think is going to happen.

You can however prove her wrong gradually by showing her that you still have your life under control. She will come by, and she is only sad right now because she loves you that much.

I wish you the best of luck with this man!
Peace.

 

[restin]

thank you very much, all of you. I feel I can get through it.

 

[GOD]

Your life is on the line now . Your the one that will be under observation . You will have to be patient , loving and calm . Always try to keep controle of your emotions and arguments and with time they will see that you are a good person and that drugs havent messed your life up . Its a bit like when parents find out that their kids are homosexual , the roof falls on their heads , but mostly their love takes over and they learn to live with it when they get used to it and see that their kids are happy , good , loving people .

Stay calm and use good arguments . Present them with factswhen they ask questions and make statements to you . Dont attack them with info all the time as that often works like an aversion therapy .

 

[user_1919]

I remember the day that I told my mom about my cannabis use/psychedelic use. I did the exact same thing as you. I made a little booklet for her to read, and gave it to her. She asked me why I do it and she told me she knew it wasn't a big deal. All she was worried about was the smoke and lungs.

It's the misinformation that your mother is getting. You somehow need to get her to listen. She has no facts against you other than what she has heard from our truthful government :roll: . I would suggest sitting down with her, and asking her to act like an adult and some not child who will not listen, and try to explain to her, with facts, that this substance is really a miracle. Try to include medical uses and reports. Another thing that is good to throw into your 'argument' is addiction potential as she said your addicted. Also try to tell her that millions of people around the world use this substance, and it has been used for thousands of years. One more thing to include is how many people are harmed from 'legal' drugs compared to Marijuana. Alcohol and Tobacco kill, not Marijuana. Good luck.

PEACE & LOVE

 

[Nomada]

Good vibes, your way. I am confident you and your mother will work this out eventually and learn to attempt to understand each other with love, open-mindness and empathy. I think you have done the right decision telling her. It was kinda rough when I told mine ones too, still they don't understand it and I have to dose behind their eyes, which is not cool at all. Yet I felt a lot better with my identity when I told them.
Good luck. :wink:

 

[ProStoner]

man I remember how hard I thought it was to tell my mom
I smoked weed for about a year by then, when I decided to tell her
(Watch how most of you say told my MOM, like a lot of children we tend to put more trust in our mother then our father for these things)

anyways
I showed her some weed and how it smells, how to roll a joint and what it was all about, why I did.

maybe a bit too overwhelming but hey I did what I thought was best
she didn't say I had to stop with it the first day, but the next day it was complete chaos and I had to quit and I was addicted and denying it was exactly why she was even more convinced of this
so ofcorse I promised her i'd quit, but ofcorse I was not going to

she just didn't understand, and now followed a couple of years of lots of fighting and telling me she would kick me out of the house, parents fighting eachother, lots of emotional stuff
I was affraid to come home "high" , so I always came home around 5am
hoping that she was asleep, often she wasn't

but now a couple of years later it has finally eased down
I`ve talked about it with her one last time, and she said she knew I was still using but that she could see it wasn't affecting me so much anymore
in ways of school and other stuff.
and she could also see that I didn't smoke that much anymore also
which was all true.

I hope for you this will not take as long as it did with my parents
but my situation was probably different then yours, I dunno


you say "You can't be addicted my cannabis."

but that is not true, you can be addicted to cannabis.
but its a mental and not so much physical addiction but because the mind is connected to the body "most of the time" u can also notice it in your body

I know enough people who are addicted and I can't deny that I am somewhat also, but I've always had less trouble with quitting then my friends
its more the way how u use a drug that will make the difference
lots of people use for the wrong reasons, for those people who want to quit is very very hard because they don't see the problem

if I worked in a detox facility or such I would see that those people need to relearn how to use the drug, and then u can talk about quitting

but often this might not be neccesary anymore because now they do what they have to do and the influence of the drug is no longer there in the negative way it was before

but this goes for marihuana, I don't think it would be the same for a drug like cocaine or heroin

anyways i`m drifting off here a lot haha

 

[psm]

give it a couple of days. then ask your mother for a talk.
sit down with her and ask her about her concerns. let herself express. Just listen. Do not justify, do not argue, do not apologize, just listen.
Give her some more days. Then ask her, if she is at all interested in your opinion on that matter.
If she is, ask her kindly to sit down and listen to your side. Prepare. give her the possibility to learn. don't force it. Tell her your side. If she cut into it, let her finish, but do not argue. just ask politely to listen, since you did the same.
Tell her the reason why you are talking to her about it, is that you want her to be a part of your life. That you love her and that you could have kept it secret, but chose not to.
Explain as good as you can. then ask her, if she has any questions about cannabis, or your life. be sincere and truthful.
and then leave the subject.

The next step is up to her. either she learned, or she didn't. if she didn't, it is not up to you to teach her...

 

[restin]

well, let's say she already sees me as a narcomanic jerk, in her mind I already quit my education and am now going to live on the streets. In half a year I am gonna tell her that I am a heroin junkie. She won't listen to my reasoning and she can't explain her new opinion. Well, I'll do what I can.

 

[Nomada]

Courage!
The zaikadelic brigade is standing next to you.

 

[Carebear]

well, let's say she already sees me as a narcomanic jerk, in her mind I already quit my education and am now going to live on the streets. In half a year I am gonna tell her that I am a heroin junkie. She won't listen to my reasoning and she can't explain her new opinion. Well, I'll do what I can.

Well you`re just gonna have to prove her wrong.
Keep us updated.

Goodluck mate!

 

[BrainEater]

you should stick to a honest, but sort of distant attitude of "i have my opinion and you have your opinion about the subject", while not forcing her to accept your opinion as "the right opinion".


she can form her opinion about you, by seeing what you do and listening to what you say, and if you prove her prejudices which she seems not to be able to lay off, to be wrong by that, then she will have to choose a different opinion on the subject and maybe she will believe her son, when he tells her the truth about it ???


but sometimes ignorance can be like a belief-policy of false beliefs, glued together sloppily... and when one belief changes in the belief-system, then the others change their position as well....


that means: the more she is confused by what to believe, the closer you are to succeeding in telling her the truth and she believing it.


my mother thought similar about me and showed a similar reaction-behaviour...


it's the image of the junkie, that can't do anything, because the drug "ruling" him, that is quite powerful in a mother's mind, who fears the son's future.


but it's because of the lack of knowledge about the actual truth that causes the known patterns in the brain to react like that, showing sorrowful behaviour towards the beloved son.


because she wants to protect you from the evil,bad,not-beneficial,whatever effect from the bad drug, she reacts in the way, that she intuitively thinks is right.


you shouldn't blame her for that, because it shows that she loves you.


only when she understands what you are talking about, will she be able to lay off her prejudice-attitude about the subject. then you can really talk about it and teach her the knowledge that you have gathered.


peace.

 

[ProStoner]

sometimes playing the "waiting game" is the best option
let it all sink in, don't push it, if u try to convince her too much right now she might take that as a reason to dig in even deeper.

u might even wanna wait untill she decides to wanna know more about what you are doing.

when he hold quiet for a while i`m sure she will come to you eventually, and then u know that she is ready to listen.

 

[Mara]

I'm sorry to hear things didn't turn out so well... I agree with some other replies here.

Your mothers concern shows that she loves you. Let it all sink in, show that you can still live a good life, and I'm sure she will calm down a bit. You have opened up to her, now wait until she shows some interest. It's very brave of you to tell her.

Indeed keep us updated, I wish you all the best.