mindfukked
Neurotransmetteur
- Inscrit
- 12 Fev 2008
- Messages
- 82
So yesterday I bought 3 geltabs of acid. I've been telling my boyfriend about lsd but wanted to try out whatever I was going to give him because he's not much of a drug user, his mind is crazy enough already. I gave him half a blunt and it took him over a week to finish it taking one hit a day (that's really all he needed). Anyway. My ex was going to come over after work at 1am because hes never tripped before either, my mom was finally out of town and I have a court ordered curfew so it's kind of difficult to schedule something like an acid trip. But anyway, I couldn't wait. So at 7pm I took a hit by myself in my room and went to the beach and wrote a little bit before coming home when it started to rain (which was so cool!)
Anyway, about an hour in I'm completely freaking out in my room so I called up my friend T, who was whispering because she was in night school. I thought she was in a mousehole. She realized what was going on and came over right after school. First I went looking for her in my neighbhorhood and thought I was alone in the universe because it was dark and there were multicolored lights everywhere and I didnt see any cars and it's kinda busy over here. Right so then we're both tripping. It was amazing, the best trip of my life. My friend who i bought it from told me it was stronger than the last shit I had got from him, which was before this my fave trip. But it was stronger, and it was wonderful, amazing. Anyone who's done it knows how crazy it was except this was so much stronger than anything I've ever done. I was punching myself in the head because it didn't hurt. My face was scary because Icould watch it aging and morphing. My veins and bones were sticking out and moving and writhing and everything was just unbelievably awesome. And I mean awesome, not just cool. Awe inspiring.
And then we decided we were hungry. For weed ! I felt very un at ease, and if there's anything that will get me to sit back and chill out it's a blunt. So we call up S, the same one with the craaaaazyyy shit that I had suspected had PCP in it. This weed was crazy. It was so green! it was like 5 different shades of green. With blue and yellow. Well my brother caught us buying it so we hid it in my room but then we lost it because my room ate the bag. We thought that at the time of hiding it we were in a different dimension and we were never going to see that bag againb ecause it was no longer in our reality. Well we finally find it, and after taking about 20 minutes just to roll it we took about 4 huge hits each. And then I became very very very uncomfortable and insisted we put it out.. that never happens when it comes to me and this girl smoking an L. Never.
All of a sudden Iunderstood what it is to be crazy. I had lost my sanity, my mind was weaker than the lsd and had finally snapped and this was it. My room was my head and Iwas my brain. I am my brain. I felt that I got stuck in my head, quite literally, and it was going to be me and this girl stuck in a loop for the rest of my life. And we were stuck in a time loop/wormhole shit.Everytime I said something she said something then I said something then she said something and we were saying the same nonsense over and over again and I couldn't get it to stop because she kept saying things and I couldn't not say anything because then she'd just say more and I was getting so freaked out. We were alone. We were in my head. We got stuck there. Nothing and no one existed outside of my room, my head. This was only compacted by the fact that she was insisting she was talking to people on her phone but when I asked her who there was nobody. And nobody had tried to call us.And I had tried to call my ex multiple times but his phone was offf. Nothing was real. Nothing existed. And those people, could we have made them up? Did I make T up? All these phone people.. I couldn't see them.. Icouldn't feel them. They didn't exist. Nothing I saw existed. It was all just a trick and facade my mind gave me because I could not understand things in their simplest form. Everything was writhing and I realized we're all just cells.. writhing. "reality" and all matter and everything you see is an illusion. We're all just writhing cells and everything is writhing and moving. We, and everything, are just plasma.
I was terrified. I really really thought I had lost my mind. I wanted to cry. Then my brother busted us because he had caught us buying the weed to begin with. And he had wanted her to go at that point but she stayed till 2 when he was really flipping out because he wanted her to leave hours ago, and he had overheard us talking about our melted brains. And why were my pupils so big? My right one was all pupil no iris and the left one was smaller but still huge. I couldn't call a cab for her. My mind went blank and I forgot how to speak. I had to write down what exactly i needed to say to the cabbie and even then it took a lot of breathing and concentrating. I was so freaked out and scared. And I just wanted her to leave at this point too and was glad that my brother interfered so violently, it reminded me the real world existed. My dog helped with that too, when I was in the middle of my we're in my head tangent. I love my dog and he's the first pet I've had that I feel i can understand and communicate with, and he was a touch stone because i knew he was from the real world. And he wasn't very freaked out, he was just chillin and sleeping. except when iw as really bugging he looked like he was shaking and convulsing and I couldn't tell if he was or not.
But when she left Idid feel better. I washed my face fervently. And I sat in my bed and turned on my TV to make sure things really existed. And I had to be watching a TV show, the informercials were freaking me out. The reality shows were freaking me out. I had to find a sitcom or a drama or something where there was constant talking back and forth. And I was scared to fall asleep. but i did, very uncomfortably. And I woke up this morning with bruises and bite marks where we were biting eachother and ourselves. And I punched myself in the head a couple of times much harder than I had thought because it didn't hurt at the time and my mouth is pretty chewed up.
That and I'm a pretty heavy cigarette smoker. About a pack a day if not a little more. I did not smoke a cigarette this entire time. The taste, the smell, everything was disgusting. I couldn't breathe if one was lit. And then T was freaking out about that, of all things. Why was I not smoking ?!? Although I did eat one of my cigarettes. Except for the filter. But me and her had gotten stuck in a loop. Everytime I said something she said something then i said something and on and on and on and I kept thinking of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. This is what it's like. I'm schizophrenic now. Reality is broken and my mind has taken over. I'm trapped i this forever. And then she was pretending to be alright Iguess to make it seem like she was which only freaked me out more because it really didseem like she was okay and I was the one completely fucked off my face but then i suspected she really wasn't because like i said we were in a loop and she kept saying nonsene that sounded like "You know you know i dunno ya know i dunno what i dunno you kno ya know" I was so freaked out and so terrified. I just wanted it to stop. Iwanted her to stop. I wanted her to stop talking to me. I wanted her to look somewhere else. I didn't want to be "one" with her anymore. I wanted her out of my head. I wanted to be back in my world and for her to be in her own. And I did feel much better when she left and I finally succumbed to sleep and I woke up this morning and everything was fine again.
As for the third tab.. I've put that away for now.
Anyway, about an hour in I'm completely freaking out in my room so I called up my friend T, who was whispering because she was in night school. I thought she was in a mousehole. She realized what was going on and came over right after school. First I went looking for her in my neighbhorhood and thought I was alone in the universe because it was dark and there were multicolored lights everywhere and I didnt see any cars and it's kinda busy over here. Right so then we're both tripping. It was amazing, the best trip of my life. My friend who i bought it from told me it was stronger than the last shit I had got from him, which was before this my fave trip. But it was stronger, and it was wonderful, amazing. Anyone who's done it knows how crazy it was except this was so much stronger than anything I've ever done. I was punching myself in the head because it didn't hurt. My face was scary because Icould watch it aging and morphing. My veins and bones were sticking out and moving and writhing and everything was just unbelievably awesome. And I mean awesome, not just cool. Awe inspiring.
And then we decided we were hungry. For weed ! I felt very un at ease, and if there's anything that will get me to sit back and chill out it's a blunt. So we call up S, the same one with the craaaaazyyy shit that I had suspected had PCP in it. This weed was crazy. It was so green! it was like 5 different shades of green. With blue and yellow. Well my brother caught us buying it so we hid it in my room but then we lost it because my room ate the bag. We thought that at the time of hiding it we were in a different dimension and we were never going to see that bag againb ecause it was no longer in our reality. Well we finally find it, and after taking about 20 minutes just to roll it we took about 4 huge hits each. And then I became very very very uncomfortable and insisted we put it out.. that never happens when it comes to me and this girl smoking an L. Never.
All of a sudden Iunderstood what it is to be crazy. I had lost my sanity, my mind was weaker than the lsd and had finally snapped and this was it. My room was my head and Iwas my brain. I am my brain. I felt that I got stuck in my head, quite literally, and it was going to be me and this girl stuck in a loop for the rest of my life. And we were stuck in a time loop/wormhole shit.Everytime I said something she said something then I said something then she said something and we were saying the same nonsense over and over again and I couldn't get it to stop because she kept saying things and I couldn't not say anything because then she'd just say more and I was getting so freaked out. We were alone. We were in my head. We got stuck there. Nothing and no one existed outside of my room, my head. This was only compacted by the fact that she was insisting she was talking to people on her phone but when I asked her who there was nobody. And nobody had tried to call us.And I had tried to call my ex multiple times but his phone was offf. Nothing was real. Nothing existed. And those people, could we have made them up? Did I make T up? All these phone people.. I couldn't see them.. Icouldn't feel them. They didn't exist. Nothing I saw existed. It was all just a trick and facade my mind gave me because I could not understand things in their simplest form. Everything was writhing and I realized we're all just cells.. writhing. "reality" and all matter and everything you see is an illusion. We're all just writhing cells and everything is writhing and moving. We, and everything, are just plasma.
I was terrified. I really really thought I had lost my mind. I wanted to cry. Then my brother busted us because he had caught us buying the weed to begin with. And he had wanted her to go at that point but she stayed till 2 when he was really flipping out because he wanted her to leave hours ago, and he had overheard us talking about our melted brains. And why were my pupils so big? My right one was all pupil no iris and the left one was smaller but still huge. I couldn't call a cab for her. My mind went blank and I forgot how to speak. I had to write down what exactly i needed to say to the cabbie and even then it took a lot of breathing and concentrating. I was so freaked out and scared. And I just wanted her to leave at this point too and was glad that my brother interfered so violently, it reminded me the real world existed. My dog helped with that too, when I was in the middle of my we're in my head tangent. I love my dog and he's the first pet I've had that I feel i can understand and communicate with, and he was a touch stone because i knew he was from the real world. And he wasn't very freaked out, he was just chillin and sleeping. except when iw as really bugging he looked like he was shaking and convulsing and I couldn't tell if he was or not.
But when she left Idid feel better. I washed my face fervently. And I sat in my bed and turned on my TV to make sure things really existed. And I had to be watching a TV show, the informercials were freaking me out. The reality shows were freaking me out. I had to find a sitcom or a drama or something where there was constant talking back and forth. And I was scared to fall asleep. but i did, very uncomfortably. And I woke up this morning with bruises and bite marks where we were biting eachother and ourselves. And I punched myself in the head a couple of times much harder than I had thought because it didn't hurt at the time and my mouth is pretty chewed up.
That and I'm a pretty heavy cigarette smoker. About a pack a day if not a little more. I did not smoke a cigarette this entire time. The taste, the smell, everything was disgusting. I couldn't breathe if one was lit. And then T was freaking out about that, of all things. Why was I not smoking ?!? Although I did eat one of my cigarettes. Except for the filter. But me and her had gotten stuck in a loop. Everytime I said something she said something then i said something and on and on and on and I kept thinking of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. This is what it's like. I'm schizophrenic now. Reality is broken and my mind has taken over. I'm trapped i this forever. And then she was pretending to be alright Iguess to make it seem like she was which only freaked me out more because it really didseem like she was okay and I was the one completely fucked off my face but then i suspected she really wasn't because like i said we were in a loop and she kept saying nonsene that sounded like "You know you know i dunno ya know i dunno what i dunno you kno ya know" I was so freaked out and so terrified. I just wanted it to stop. Iwanted her to stop. I wanted her to stop talking to me. I wanted her to look somewhere else. I didn't want to be "one" with her anymore. I wanted her out of my head. I wanted to be back in my world and for her to be in her own. And I did feel much better when she left and I finally succumbed to sleep and I woke up this morning and everything was fine again.
As for the third tab.. I've put that away for now.
