sorry, this is long, i wrote it over the course of the past couple days, but there's alot to cover, so this doesn't even really cover very much, at least not in detail...
well to start, one thing you should know first of all, is that there are many different ways to meditate. there is no one correct form, but they all do center around one big main principal, which is, focusing the mind in one direction for a period of time (even if it's constantly reminding yourself that that's what you are doing. eventually it will become easier and easier). but before we get into that, there are some other bases to cover.
what i like to do first, is clear my mind for a little bit. this is generally an undefined amount of time as sometimes it's easy, and others it's near impossible. when i started out, i would take about 5 minutes just to clear my mind, before i even got into my meditation. THIS step should never, and really cannot be avoided if you wish to have, by your own definition, a meaningful meditation. i should note though, that since i have been practicing over the years, that the time it takes to sink into that open, clear, receptive state generallytakes much less time, i will say roughly 30-seconds(on a pretty good day), to a minute or so (average day), then all the way up to five minutes again (on a kinda crappy day). thing is, it is sometimes pretty difficult to tell how restless your mind will be, so i generally just allow about 5 mins to calm myself before i begin, not that i'll necessarily need it, though who knows, sometimes i need even more.
the next step, and where things begin to differ, where alot of confusion can be made out of "what one 'should' do with the meditation, is caused by "what to focus on?". once you reach a more calm state, you know, you've taken your time warming up, noticed a rythm now in your breathing, and to really started to relax, (you should be pretty self aware at this point, paying attention mostly to bodily functions, think 'isolation chamber') hopefully you've began to kind of shrug off all of your stressful factors, let them go for a bit, maybe focusing on your breathing, or some type of anchor point*(wiki anchor point in relation to meditation for a thorough explanation). just pick one that you like (i generally use breathing, or that calm buzzing auditory frequency you hear in absolute silence, sometimes it's a combination. it's a matter of preference really. further questions on what to use? just ask). now you will be ready to begin.
1. you can probe deeper into your lower levels of consciousness, by going deeper and deeper into this relaxation, which doesn't need much adjusting from your warm up, just remember to keep coming back to your focal point as to not become distracted. you can do this for any amount of time really, the longer you go though, the closer you may come to actually falling asleep i would recommend this version of the others for just starting out, as it's easier to get to at first. it's signature is, you begin to see fragments of pictures, hear random bits of audio, you'll be in the entering the hypnagogic state* (another great wiki article) or be dancing in that realm anyways. you may nap-jerk* which is a sign that you've hit the right area, but probably just passed it a little by dozing off. you should be able to sink back into that state pretty easily from here, despite being jerked awake. but try not to fall asleep again!
2. from the hypnagogic state, instead of relaxing further, you can make your intent(aka your being, your direction, your tempo) to become more 'energized'for lack of a good word(another word would be rapid, or expediant). (i've gained the ability to control an adrenaline rush from this mindstate). this state is a little more chaotic, as its generally going into the upper planes of consciousness, and really it's not going to be easily/comfortably attainable without prior experience in relaxing (the feeling of 'anxiety'). this is a realm that im just kind of probing into, taking control of all the autonomous functions and what not, so i dont really have much in the way of advice here, only that; as above, so below. i know that there are higher planes because there are lower, and since i have now gained a sense of 'control'(i hate that word) of the lower, i have a little more than reason to believe that i can also gain 'control' of the higher. dont get hung up on the word "control" though (or 'above' and below either, as they're only to show their complimentary nature), as i've noticed the more that you try to make it a conscious effort, a grasping at, the more it will slip away from you, or rather, the more you try to make it happen, the faster you slip out of that state and back into normal consciousness. as you gain experience, you'll learn what i mean.
the main differences in your meditation will come from the different anchors you choose to use, as well as the different flavors of the day. sometimes you'll go into your meditation trying to leave behind an anger, sometimes you'll go in, trying to leave behind anxiety, these are one side, you could say 'negative' (its relative, really), because ultimately the thing you are doing is the same. just may feel different at the time...
another time you could be perfectly content, and looking to 'gain' a feeling, like love as you mentioned, or excitement (these are what i noted with the 'higher planes')
once you've more or less 'mastered' the lower then you should try the higher, as for you (anxiety) this (higher) would not be a good place to get into without the ability to calm yourself, so i wont go into this much right now, but it really comes naturally as a result of figuring out the lower planes really. i use the words 'planes' loosely. it really means nothing special, other than your mindstate going into it. and the method you will be using
idk, i almost feel bad giving advice in this area, as im still figuring alot of this shit out myself, so dont take my words too literally; there is no framework of what to do inside of your mind. this is merely a general idea of how i, ME PERSONALLY find this system best approximated, so if you have any questions on something, just ask, maybe i can word it differently, to a way that's better for your mind to pick up and use.
