I regret what I said...

[Synith]

I was on a date with a girl and we were at her house. Her family smoked weed quite often, so I asked if I could take a hit-- I did. And It was blown. She said my eyes were bloodshot, and I've never gotten bloodshot eyes before on cannabis, so it was likely a better quality of herb that I got.

So we went outside on her porch for a smoke before I had to go back home, and I was resting on her shoulder and I randomly said, "I love you." Now, mind you, this is our second date, and I'm fucked up-- so I didn't mean what I said. It just came out. She was pissed.
We both like each other, so we've stuck to saying, "I like you," but nothing further-- so I blew it and embarrassed the hell out of myself; I was very high, and I felt like shit because of what I said. She didn't say much after I said it, other than, 'You know, we haven't been seeing each other very long, and you're high-- so I'll take that into consideration, but I'm pissed.' I kept apologizing and such, which wasn't enough since she's still pissed at me.

So here I am, living in regret. Anyone else ever said something stupid while high and didn't mean it?

 

[FluidDruid]

The intoxicated mind uses a sober tongue, you meant what you said.

You should not be embarrassed for telling someone that you love them, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and matter of fact people do not say it enough. Only love will conquer hate, and by restricting yourself from your own emotions will prove fruitless. She shouldn't be pissed off at you, that simply makes no sense. Rather she would have you say you had Hated her? Use the same context I am here in your next conversation with her. If she doesn't lighten up I'd break it off (personally).

 

[Synith]

The intoxicated mind uses a sober tongue, you meant what you said.

You should not be embarrassed for telling someone that you love them, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and matter of fact people do not say it enough. Only love will conquer hate, and by restricting yourself from your own emotions will prove fruitless. She shouldn't be pissed off at you, that simply makes no sense. Rather she would have you say you had Hated her? Use the same context I am here in your next conversation with her. If she doesn't lighten up I'd break it off (personally).

'The intoxicated mind uses a sober tongue, you meant what you said.' True. Yet I do not feel as though I've reached a state of feeling that strong for her, which is odd.
I may have to break it off. She has many trust issues.

 

[Caduceus Mercurius]

I don't understand. She was stoned and disturbed by you saying you love her? Or was it just you who got high?

 

[druglessdouglas]

ive done this also. admitedly at a far more intimate moment. it was a mistake.

shift the focus on to the quality of the weed, and laugh

 

[Forkbender]

My initial reaction was: 'So what?'

I don't think it is a bad or stupid thing and I don't think you didn't mean it because you were high. What got you into trouble is the meaning you and this girl attach to this phrase. I love you rarely means I love you, but always seems to imply 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you and suffocate you with my possessiveness.' I guess you both need to see that these three words can be meaningful without implying the letter. Love can be momentary, yet people always attach 'everlasting'.

What happened? You felt love and expressed it, it is not a bad thing and eventhough you may not love her all the time, you loved that single moment and that is important. Being honest about what you feel is essential in any relationship, and it doesn't matter if it's just starting or nearing the end. Explain to her that you just felt very happy about being with her at that moment and couldn't find other words to express it.

She probably didn't believe you if she got angry, maybe due to the trust issues you mentioned? That's no reason to break it off, though, it is still early and if you like her, why not go for it? You may be the person that helps her gain trust in herself. Take it easy. Tell her that you didn't want to frighten her away, but that you were happy at that moment. And get some weed-training. :wink:

 

[Caduceus Mercurius]

I love you rarely means I love you, but always seems to imply 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you and suffocate you with my possessiveness.' I guess you both need to see that these three words can be meaningful without implying the letter. Love can be momentary, yet people always attach 'everlasting'.

What happened? You felt love and expressed it, it is not a bad thing and eventhough you may not love her all the time, you loved that single moment and that is important. Being honest about what you feel is essential in any relationship, and it doesn't matter if it's just starting or nearing the end.

So, what does "I love you" mean? Does it mean "I enjoy being with you right now"?

 

[restin]

more then enjoy. Much more. It means I am feeling bliss. I think real love cannot be captured in words - love that can be described is not love.

EDIT: I very much agree with Fork. It often happens that people, after a while break up because the feelings cease and then they think "well it wasn't real love then", but I believe that this is not true.

 

[Forkbender]

So, what does "I love you" mean? Does it mean "I enjoy being with you right now"?

I would certainly include an exstatic feeling, in which one stands literally outside oneself. This can be revertable, so that you fall out of love back into your own mind/ego.

 

[Gem_E]

She misconstrued your casual statement, and she overreacted. Her reluctance to come to terms, even after you reminded her of your condition when you said it - she is making a mountain out of a tiny molehill. Looks like she has issues.

Her behavior raises a big red flag which indicates probable trouble down the line. I would look elsewhere, if it were me.

Plenty more fish in the sea ...

 

[Gem_E]

And please -- don't feel regret over such a misdemeanor. Chalk it up to experience, and continue to move ahead. You will feel better before you know it )

 

[Crimzen]

ive done this also. admitedly at a far more intimate moment. it was a mistake.

shift the focus on to the quality of the weed, and laugh

same it was also a big mistake
we broke up like 3 days later and we'd only been together about a month
huge fuck up on my part to put it the way i did but also an over reaction internally by her (i say internally because she didnt bother telling me how she felt about me saying that)
i instantly sensed i shouldnt have said it and then regretted it the rest of the night and the next day because i knew what it would probably (and did) happen

Just tell her by love you didnt mean you're "IN love" with her but that you love being with her/around her
try to downgrade her perception of what you called 'love' to a 'nice' and 'comfortable' love rather than an intense feeling
if you get what im saying..

 

[JohnDoe_2012]

That girl needs to get over herself, I wouldn't worry too much about your end of the matter aside from maybe considering a little tact next time.

Someone she likes and is dating SAID they loved her, note that's SAID and not necessarily actually does. Boo fuckin hoo, what a nightmare world she must live in :roll:

All of that shit is just the little social games we play along the road to getting to know each other, can't pretend to be TOO good friends with someone until X amount of time has passed or Y amount of bonding experiences. Can't tell a girl you are crazy about her until she is at some arbtrary and sometimes impossible top detect stage where it becomes acceptable. What's worse is some of the same girls will later date someone and then after one month they'll be wondering 'does he care?' or 'why doesn't he tell me he loves me?' because now they're ready but the guy they're with isn't that kind of person expression wise.

The situation isn't blown from my perspective, but then again I'm not a girl or that girl. If someone is drunk with me and they say some stupid shit I'll take it on board relative to their intoxication and the context of the scenario. Same goes for high on cannabis or with a few pills in them.

If she can't handle you possibly over-reacting, being a little too high to fully articulate what you meant or you ACTUALLY being in love with her then I don't think you've lost a real keeper there. That or in future you need to be aware of what level of strict social rules the game she is playing has and follow them. Think of it like playing monkey island or something, you picked the wrong response this time so learn from it and next time pick the one which will help you progress in the game :twisted:

Don't worry about it.

 

[Gem_E]

Just remembered one of my own mistakes. Years ago, I had been seeing a young woman for several weeks, and we were always very comfortable together. The first time that we slept together, everything was wonderful, with intermittent passion, chatting and joking. We stayed awake until just before dawn. I was stone cold sober the whole time. At some point during the chit-chat and laughter, I smiled at her, laughed and said "marry me!" Her demeanor did not change after I said it, and everything seemed great. But about a month later she told me that she had thought I was serious when I said it! In fact, she called a girlfriend later on, and talked about how she was always falling for nut cases - "This guy asks me to marry him the first night?!"

Course I told her that I had no idea that she had taken it seriously (after she finally told me). She might have been goofing on me a little about it - we stayed together for several years afterward as friends and lovers. She was a bit naive then also; she was still pretty young.

Guess we just have to be careful what we say early on in our encounters, friends and neighbors - and later on as well ...