I Haven't Smoked In a While

[No-Key]

I've been job hunting for the last month and a half, and I know when I finally land one, I'll be drug tested. I'm also paranoid, and don't trust the many ways of getting around a drug test besides abstaining.

So I've been doing that, and I have noticed some things.

I've had to think a lot about the nature of addiction, because while I know marijuana isn't physically addicting and I haven't had any sign of that sort of withdrawal, there is definitely a habit formed which is taking considerable will-power to break. All my friends still smoke around me, and it takes a LOT to not smoke when they do, but I wonder why?

I dream about smoking weed. Vivid, realistic, lucid dreams.
I guess the fact that I've been able to stop so cold turkey is proof enough to me that I have control in the situation, but it is disturbing to long for something when marijuana has been such a part of producing my mindstate of not longing for anything.

I know I could probably fool a drug test. I could scrounge up 20 bucks and buy a commercial cleaner, or just drink a lot of water, and I could get over my paranoia, but at this point I'm wondering if that's even the right thing to do. In my head, it seems like that would be the thing I would do if I were addicted to it.

Also, it's pretty late here, so excuse all this ramblings, it's just whats been bothering me, maybe you all have something interesting to say on it.

 

[Meduzz]

after 5 years of smoking, i decided to quit for 8 months until my 18th birthday.
not that i have been smoking a lot the first years but in the end i smoked every day.

i had the same thoughts like you have, the constation that quiting might be more difficult than expected. imo, the most difficult part of quiting is the constant boredom :?

also, you can not underestimate the addiction potential of cannabis.
it's not because its "only" a psychological addiction that the addiction isn't hard. i had a harder time quiting with weed than quiting with xtc & speed (which i do every year for 2 weeks or so).

on my birthday (6apr) i started smoking again. i don't have any regrets about starting again (because now i'm quiting again for the exams).

you just have to figure out for yourself if you want to live with MJ or not.
if you choose to live with it, you should have a constant self control to stay out of cannabis-related trouble.

good luck on your job hunting

 

[buffachino]

I understand where ur coming form. There is no question that just stopping smoking on occasion, or even for good, is not that hard; other than the fact that like any repeated task, it becomes a part of you, and you miss doing it when boredom strikes. If your mixing with tobacco, this can make it harder, but i quit ciggies a while ago to counter this, and is working wonders for not only my psychological dependance, but the actual smoking also. My lungs are recieving half if not even less damage than if i was using both.

Dont feel as if your a filthy drug addict as the poloticians and media scum would have you believe; besides, its this ignorance that is making them drug test you!! Its not as if you are going to smoke at work or go on a psychotic rampage at the grocery store because u partake in some ganja.

I find it good to abstain for periods or stints in between large sesssions or after a couple of months of prolonged use, just to let my body reajust; then when it thinks its back to 'normal' i blast it with 3 grams, and you never felt soo good

If it will help you to get more money, to pay for more bud, then why not take every measure to make yourself 'clean' before those bastards scrutinise ur piss?

Good luck brother!

 

[Dantediv86]

buffachino,
I like the things you say in your posts
the way you say them
i like them a lot...a lot lot lot mate i think that sometimes, reading your posts, you put things the way i'd want to put them.

i'm dissociated

Peace

 

[buffachino]

Cheers dude
This community is awesome, its so good to discuss all the facets of mind expolration!

i know how you feel too (the dissasociation); I took 2 grams of dried cyans and .8 of a gram of azures last night, i had the most profound trip!! I "WAS" the universe; I was like, folding in on myself, into a singularity, experiencing death and then rebirth all at once!!!

My mind is struggling to reajust to the 'normality' of human perception. nothing a few cones wont fix, lol.

 

[Dantediv86]

No no
i'm naturally dissociated
i can't connect to reality my mind can't cope with it
a shrink would say i suffer of slight schizzophrenia
considering also the strange dejavus i get (you can read the post Strange Dejavu in the general psychonautics part) i can't manage to say what i want the way i want so it's double harder for me to explain things. and often is confusing for people around me to understand what i'm saying. this without drugs and ever before i started.
but you're right this is a very cool community

i haven't taken drugs for a month now, though after the heavy mj experiment i did i smoked enough for two months
i never find it hard to stop using it, i did 6 months without it once and i had no withdrawal effects whatsoever no craving nor anything else, i felt fine. but that's probably because i'm such an inconsistent user