Ok wait a minute here...
You are saying that some woman chopped your member off ? Well that would be different and I'm sorry to hear that, but releived that you seem to find hapiness nonetheless !
I certainly do not agree that you can give love, period. Love to the holographic mind is a self-suffiscient universal force, it certainly can never be owned and given away, certainly not quantified !
What you say about unconditional love as a vibration , and jurisdiction boundaries is very familiar to me however. I think you just need to realise that not everyone answers to the same archetypal natures.
I can relate to your experience with the cactus, of course you have a lover within, and if you're healthy enough, you'll realise that a penis and a clitoris is the same thing, and that we have the genetic capacity to make it work hormonally ! But not like just by thinking it, you have to modify your body much like I did, you belly will become bigger (not bloated, you just can breathe more air in since the diaphragm stretches more) and your head will grow too. When you look at your pubic area, you will notice that the scrotum folds over your penis and pubic bone much like the outer vaginal lips, it's the same thing, to say that we are separate in this archetype is an outright lie that is used to further the power of religious and industrial interests. Woman is a creation of the geniuses behind the tamed "matrix".
Since this has been posted I'm not shy to say my perception here. Look at Caduceus and Mara, Caduceus certainly looks manly, and Mara certainly looks feminine, but she dosen't inspire "womaness" she isn't morphed into a tight upper lip, compressed hips, small headed money-servant. If you really take a step back, you will see that we don't call them a woman-man couple, we call them a human couple. And by the amount of silence that underlines my posts I assume I'm not the only one to think that way so I will say "we" as in the holographic consensus.
That is essential because you need to grow glands to produce those hormones within yourself, mind over matter maybe, but in the ideal environement where the body is self-suffiscient without food ! Here now, there is much more going on than meets the eye !
You cannot attain the biological immortality you aspire to without establishing a relation with the mushroom, and nourishing your body as if you were two, you need a very special digestive system to achieve this. I have seen it, but it was 20 years of dedication and very arduous task and is NOT for everyone.
So yes, now that you cannot reproduce anymore, I guess you have time to follow that path ! I'm willing to share what make me self-suffiscient after 7 years of abstinance, but seeing the way you talk you will need to have a very open mind and try some things before turning towards yourself and saying that by thinking it is , that it is.
And about the melatonin bit ; well thats my personal experience, and along with about 3-4 other people I know who tried it experienced about the same effects, some people even think that 3mg is too much, I find it's comfortable for me.
You meant proove that it's that powerful ? I'm not sure I understand your question.
If you get me talking about marriage however I'm going to get serious, because it is serious. When two holographically minded adults decide to marry they will undergo a special review by their peers, which clearly puts importance upon loyalty, truth and valor.
For a man (read masculine) only becomes aware once of his relation with the hologram inside his head, and thus can only choose one woman , once. Further attempts at it is merely lies to his own being, but the feminine humans can choose twice, once to try and twice to choose. But when they choose they will thrive to maintain emotional coherence, and if they are treasoned they can choose again.
This is the only clear place in the holographic consensus where there is a difference between man and woman , both of equal potential, but no man can ever create life.