Pot and social anxiety

[Kai]

Can somebody please lend me some advice? Now I love weed, but as with every relationship; comes problems. Now some of us can decide to end the relationship due to those mishaps or we decide the relationship is too valuable to lose and we deal with or overcome the mishaps. I am choosing the latter in my relationship with Mary Jane. Now here's my problem:

weed makes me very very socially anxious and awkward. It fucking sucks, sucks, sucks. I envy all my friends that can smoke a couple blunts, go to a party, and socially function great. Now I'm fine smoking with a group of close friends and actually have a great time deeply conversating about a subject, playing video games, and watching some hilarous YouTube videos hahaha. But when I'm around people I'm not super comfortable around my whole internal world when stoned turns into a swirling battle of social paranoia and a balancing act of trying to stay "smooth" or at least feel "smooth".

For example today me and a friend smoked a bowl and went to the gym. Right from the get-go I was trippin. I was anxious to lie to the lady saying that I "didn't have my card" so I could use my friends last name to get in. I was nervous I would stutter or spell the name wrong somehow. I did fine, but eye contact was a very awkward feeling. Once we got to the sauna I was devastated to find that there was a whole shit load of people... Fuck! I was afraid someone would try and conversate with us. No one did but I found myself looking down at the ground, fumbling with my shorts, and trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

This is not the person I normally am, I'm usually a pretty sociable guy and don't have a problem talking to people, even very cute girls. What I want to know is how I can enjoy marijuana without having to worry about going some where or doing something. Any help or advice would be deeply appreciated. Thank you!

 

[Jeniger]

I am wondering if u smoke the mj pure or with tobacco, my social anxiety faded away when i stopped smoking and stopped using tobacco in combination with mj

 

[BrainEater]

either that or you have to train to feel comfortable while stoned when around people. either do it when alone stoned and imagine how you would feel when you would be there and there right at that moment and try to cope with the feelings.
alternatively you just need to jump in the cold water and practice real social situations when high, if that's what you want to achieve.

learn from your feelings. let your feelings tell you why you have so much fear and paranoia with social settings and MJ.
try to understand the language your feeling is using to speak to you.

if you don't feel anything listen more and be calm. theres always an inner dialogue going on either conscious, subconscious or unconscious. learn to trust your inner feeling more and more. nobody can take it away from you. maybe you can reach the point where you see that it might not be necessary to be afraid and paranoid in the way you are being and have been. and the fact that it's probably illegal where you live is only one factor, but you'll see... good luck mate!!!



peace :weedman:

 

[user_1919]

I had the same thing. It is not the pot, rather the pot bringing out a quality you already have. I would suggest facing this fear without pot first. It could also be your own acceptance and view towards pot. Just accept it all. Who cares? Let it flow.

peace, love, light & unity!

 

[Forkbender]

I had the same thing. It is not the pot, rather the pot bringing out a quality you already have.

+1

 

[Teonanacapilli]

I had the same thing. It is not the pot, rather the pot bringing out a quality you already have. I would suggest facing this fear without pot first. It could also be your own acceptance and view towards pot. Just accept it all. Who cares? Let it flow.

peace, love, light & unity!

Totally agree with this as well. I still have the same thing, and have noticed as I make progress with my head problems, the better I feel being stoned around folks. You truly have no social anxiety when sober? Not even anxious thoughts?

 

[IJesusChrist]

Yup, consider yourself lucky - and fix it now, it only gets worse, alot worse. This is how my anxiety started...

But analyze yourself - why are you afraid to converse when you're high? Whats the difference when you are sociable and when you aren't - why is there this difference? There were two me's when I smoked - and I realized it came alot from who I was hanging around with - they were not really bringing me down - they would just... make me introverted and self-conscious.
Then there was the 'high' me who would talk to every person that had two legs... or didn't I really didn't care - I felt like everyone was my friend.

1. Set & setting,
2. Preconcieved notions about your self-consciousness,
3. (2) Analyzing your fears / anxiety.

And believe me, if you havn't been doing this, its not easy - you're not just going to figure shit out from the get go - but the anxiety is surely not something that is inevitable and has to stay.

Good luck, smoke again, and don't fear about being not sociable - have you been taking your vitamin D? Iron? These can help too.

 

[BrainEater]

yeah stop fearing about not being sociable. if you're not sociable, then just don't be. there's probably no reason to force yourself to be so. if you don't want to talk to anybody just don't do it. and if anybody talks to you and you don't want just tell them you don't want to talk right now.

i figured that with smoking weed i would often find it more comfortable to not do anything and anything to be done would be stress lol....obviously to that also counts having social encounters or conversations or wahtever..... well.... however at other occasions when baked i would be so motivated to do anything or just laugh all the time...

what i wanna tell you is to be comfortable with yourself to start getting out of the negative fear and paranoia spiral!! but as many things it probably takes a bit practice!!
anyways good luck mate!!!


peace

P.S. smoking a bowl now maybe hehehehe :weedman:

 

[Sinaeps]

I know what you feel.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Framing_(social_sciences)

Look into reframing, it's part of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). What it means basically is that the world you live in is a model created within your mind. This world, your "frame", is made of all the information gathered by your senses, as well as your ideas and opinions. For example, a party can be a bad situation for you while for someone else it's a great time. Your frame is different because of the way you look at it, and it becomes a different party. What you should do is realize how the situation is neither good or bad, it just is, and you can do pretty much anything out of it. All you have to do is find a comfortable frame to be in, believe in it and hang on to it.

Seriously, it works, as long as you're willing to give it your best shot.

 

[IJesusChrist]

Sinaeps, welcome - your post is enlightening, of course we have spoken of that extensivly on the forum.

reframing takes alot of confidence, motivation, and vitamin D if you know what I mean.

 

[st.bot.32]

agreed with a lot of the above. weed just amplifies what's already there.

i used to be incredibly introverted and smoking pot only made me more introverted so i avoided it at parties. then one day i decided to actually stop and think about what was going on. why was i clamping up whenever i smoked a joint? surprise, surprise. I had some things to think about like self-negativity and image issues, hence some things to let go of. since then weed just usually hasn't been a problem anymore in social situations, even around strangers as long as they're cool. i sometimes find it makes me let go even more.

also i agree with the essence of sinaep's post. that's basically what my experience was in a nutshell. I never thought of it as NLP, it was just an exercise i did, training my mind to focus on certain things, over time, in small steps. you might say that attitude is everything. (and yes, vitamin 'd' if i catch your meaning correctly!) another vitamin is c.. something weed is good for.. c as in chill (the fuck out)!

 

[Quark13]

Interesting thread. Smoking pot seems to amplify social fear and self doubt in me as well. However when I vaporize it I tend to feel less anxious then when I smoke (dependent on the dose). I find it useful to face my social issues in a sober state. I like to use cannabis preferably on special occasions, treating it more like a true entheogen by focusing attention on set, setting, intention etc.
Oh and what do you guys mean by vitamin 'D'?

 

[Brugmansia]

+1 for all above.

I always have this pleasant moderated excitement over me these days when interacting while I'm high, it often makes me pull new information out of one's internal world through details such as facial expressions which I won't detect normally because THC ''slows'' vision and raises "sophisticated" focus. It also increases a feeling of a deeper bonding with others in a good atmosphere.

At times, you may feel not content if being caught up in a loop of a witnessed "detail" or thought flow. I had this in the past, but nowadays I know that as serious as it might appear, the next day it's way more frivolous.

THC + nicotine = wack for many reasons. Smoking it pure or not.

 

[IJesusChrist]

Vitamin D = sun = laid back = happy days = Vitamin D

(for me)

 

[Nina_is_alive]

Well I havent read everyone elses posts yet [I'll go back and do that and edit if someone already mentioned this]
but I used to feel the same way pretty strongly

I'd be self conscious and although happy couldnt be myself 100% and I'd hate having to talk to strangers and stuff.

I just took a break from smoking with others and really just did alot by myself for a few months
just got comfortable with it completely by myself and around my house
sometimes I'd tlak to people on IM and if not completely blazed on the phone, and now

I feel much more comfortable smoking around people and just relaxing
its nice as long as you dont have fear that those around you will judge/take advantage of you
and the people I dont like/trust that much I just dont smoke with obv. or I just dont get completely blazed.

but anyways its really nice now and even if you get introverted its whatever, there are no expectations on you to act a certain way, and no one will care if you're quiet.

I still dislike dealing with stangers in public places though, but i've kinda realized they probably cant tell a thing and even if they do, most wont care, and even if they do its not like they can really say/do anything.
so yeah, try taking a break and smoking alone for a bit
look at yourself objectively and your relationship with both weed and yourself- thats all I can advise you on.

 

[Nina_is_alive]

I know what you feel.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Framing_(social_sciences)

Look into reframing, it's part of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). What it means basically is that the world you live in is a model created within your mind. This world, your "frame", is made of all the information gathered by your senses, as well as your ideas and opinions. For example, a party can be a bad situation for you while for someone else it's a great time. Your frame is different because of the way you look at it, and it becomes a different party. What you should do is realize how the situation is neither good or bad, it just is, and you can do pretty much anything out of it. All you have to do is find a comfortable frame to be in, believe in it and hang on to it.

Seriously, it works, as long as you're willing to give it your best shot.

+1 Thats really interesting. I know some people who are really learning alot about that too, and it makes 100% sense. cool.
Its a good way to change your perspective too, once you realize its just your personal illusion.

 

[Quark13]

Vitamin D = sun = laid back = happy days = Vitamin D

(for me)

Thanks for the clarification. I fully agree, that's an important factor.

 

[Quark13]

I have mixed feelings about NLP and comparable techniques. It can be useful to reprogram your reactions. But it seems a bit superficial to me because I think NLP is designed to repress symptoms while not going to the root of the 'issue'. In my mind healing comes from reliving difficult experiences and deeply going into your fear and doubt with full on self-acceptance. NLP-like Mindtricks can help to a certain extend (especially in combination with trauma healing), but the human brain is not a harddisk, you can't just delete bad memories/reactions and replace 'm for positive ones. Eventually the underlying fears will resurface from the subconscious with a vengeance.

 

[Teonanacapilli]

To OP: have you ever done a high dose of shrooms or other? There are more bits to gather and clean up in my head, but that first large dose I took really did something positive for me, anxiety and head problem-wise. There is definitely still something there worth pursuing.

 

[Sinaeps]

you can't just delete bad memories/reactions and replace 'm for positive ones. Eventually the underlying fears will resurface from the subconscious with a vengeance.

The mind is constantly in movement, learning new things while forgetting others. Fears are forgotten if you remove the reason for them to be there. Actually, forgetting is an important process. People often mistake it for memory "failing", which it isn't.

There's a man who can remember anything he's seen in his whole life.

It turns out forgetting is an important part of your memory's functions. I read somewhere that they disabled the part of the brain that enabled forgetting in mice (or some other rodent) and they were conditioned by hearing a certain tone and then electrocuted. Even after months without it, they were still scared by the tone. When injected THC, which triggers that part of the brain that makes them forget, they lost their conditioning. You could parallel that with a human with social anxiety that would associate social settings with bad emotions. When allowed to forget these bad feelings by avoiding them for enough time, if you have a functioning brain, the feelings simply go away.

Yes, all evidence shows us that you can "just delete bad feelings", it just takes time and effort.