Healed with ayahuasca
#1
Hi,


I start to use drugs with 12 years , after 6 years I was very very very depressed(psychotic) , I was in psychiatric treatment in Switzerland they make me some psycanalise and they give me to take Risperdal(SSri) twice a day and Xanax. After half a year of treatment I was the same my depression and the voices in my head they continued , I thinl I probably I was worse. I was depressed and psychotic for a period of 3 years(from 18 to 21) in this 3 years I lost almost everythig I lost all my friends , my famyli and all my social life was losted and also I lost a big part of my memories. After read on internet about the ayahuasca healing powers I decide to buy ayahuasca in one online herbal shop , because at this time I did not have nothing to lost because I already had lost I already had lost everything so I decide to try it. In March 2006 I decide to take it . In the start I was very fear because since my psycose I didn´t take any psychedelic , but after take it all this fears dissaper . I enter in the most healing , fantastic ,spiritual and deep trip of my life . During this trip I feel the biggest hapiness and fredom of my life and you can not imagine what is feel hapiness and fredom after 3 years of totaly madness , in this extasy I start to understand the healing power of ayahuasca and the power to clean mind and soul, the ahayahuasca had start to teach me , I also see the bigest visions I ever see and not only see but I had full contact with they , is like a divine visual language , at this moment all the nithmares and confusion in my head start to disaper .In the end of the trip I enter in a long deep sleep .In the next day no more confusion and bad feelings it was like un upgrade to my mind.
Now I am healed , there is no more voices and bad pics in my mind.

The most dificult in psycoses is to return the social live because in this , but with ayahuasca is no big problem to start again , ayahuasca had very social power and teach people to do it , and to trust on you and to trust in others and this is the most important thing to be healed you have to trust.

Ayahuasca 4 ever .
Thank´s
when following its first experiment the young anthropologist asks Don
Juan if it really saw Mescalito- the spirit of the cactus, the shaman
will answer him with its usual and instructive irony: "You believe that's your mother?"
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#2
Impressive story. I wish you all the best with building up your new life and I hope that you will continue to feel good about your self and the world. Good luck!
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#3
wauw man
I feel really happy for u
ayahuasca is a strong elixer indeed
and it can always help u again if u were in need of it
good luck with getting your life back on track Big Grin
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#4
That's a wonderful story, it's good to hear a thing like that. Psychedelics can be the perfect tool to fix your mind 8).
Little Willie was a chemist.
Little Willie is no more.
What he thought was H2O,
was H2SO4.
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#5
Very interesting story. I really sympathize with you. I've just ordered 40 gr. of P. Harmala and 40 gr. of M. hostilis. I also have depressions from time to time but not as severe as yours was man. But with your words I know I will get answers and maybe finally I can get some piece of mind. Most of my depr. is because my father passed away 6 yrs ago and I have let it go but subconciously I don't think I have. I still feel that heavy weight on my chest but it's gotten lighter over the years. The first 6-12 months was a nightmare. Uncontrolled crying, sleepless nights etc etc.

I tried to hide, forget, seek comfort in hashish. Well it works when I'm stoned but when I "sober up" the problems still remains. Now I think (I really hope) I have found a solution: Ayahuasca.

my 2 pennies worth

//J
[Image: magic_shroom.jpg]
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#6
quite impressive story. I If you´re sayinf the true, i supose we all should congratulate you for your achivements and good luck for the future.

regards
PT
Truth Crushed To Earth Shall Rise Again
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#7
Sure is good to hear this story :thumbsup:
Psychedelics also saved my life from depression and the bad drugs.
I lost a friend, 2 fathers of really close friends of mine and other people in 2 years so that was a tough time and I started to abuse a lot of drugs, but mushrooms showed me joy and a different way to see life and helped me from my depression and today I live a very happy life.

So I wish you the same, good luck getting on your feet again.
May the plants be with you...
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#8
Hei , Cosm1c D4nc3r , I think the same , ayahuasca is the solution for you .

Good Luck and enjoy the trip , and prepares you to learn.

and Thank you ALL

Life is just the beginning
when following its first experiment the young anthropologist asks Don
Juan if it really saw Mescalito- the spirit of the cactus, the shaman
will answer him with its usual and instructive irony: "You believe that's your mother?"
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#9
wonderful story! makes me so happy! Smile

alice
We're all mad here!
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#10
Great story, with a happy end.

I think it's often no coïncidence ayahuasca comes on the path of the ones used to looking for a solution in the drugs circuit. Too bad there are so many prejudices about it in the main stream citizens. Ask a random passant if he or she thinks shrooms are bad. I think at least 90% will answer it's no good. So 90% are missing this opporunity.

Before beginning a trip with psychedelics, I'm allways warned not to start doing these things when feeling depressed or dealing with psychoses. These assumptions are not founded on any experience, I think.

I really feel happy for you, amoak. I still don't know for sure Ayahuasca would be a good medicine in all kinds of psychological disorders. I don't know enough about the brain and what exactly happens on a trip. But in your case the result is very clear.
Life - what is this beautiful instrument? Why does it suffer so much when played the wrong way? And how can it, when played right, do so much, even reach God? (From: Henderson the Rain King - Saul Bellow)
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#11
Hi,

Thank you all for these replys , and i feel happy to knows that my healing story make you feel good.

I would like to say , now 6 mounths after my first ayahuasca session , i really feel good and in peace with myself , i learned to control stress and depressed emotions like i never knows , i feel better then ever

, i think now i m better that before my psychotic depression , i feel my depression was like a learning test to mind and this had help me to not blame myself , because when I was psychotic I always think is my fault for everything wrong is happening in the world and this make me losted my sens of life and make thinkk evrybody is bad and this is had cause much confusion and trauma in my head.
But with ayahuasca i can always see good side of the my problems I can see that my bad memories and traumas arent so bad at all , now i look at them like gold and learning memories , ayahuasca show me always an very intellegent and happy way to deal with myself and with life.

I think the most difficult after depressions is to understand it , and in my case in not easy because it was 3 years , not 3 days or 3 mouths , and to undersand all this and for not blame myself for 3 years of tottaly madneess i really need Ayahuasca , because i have done a lot of bad things to people and to myself during this years , but now I m able to understand all this bad situations and look at all them like very important lessons to me .

When people ask me if there is anything in my life i would like to change , I say no , because without my problems I am not myself , now I love my past and i respect all my memories . Big Grin
when following its first experiment the young anthropologist asks Don
Juan if it really saw Mescalito- the spirit of the cactus, the shaman
will answer him with its usual and instructive irony: "You believe that's your mother?"
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#12
Hello Amoak!
For 2 or 3 years I have been very depressed. I lost my friends, my room, my study etc. One of the most frightening results is my memory loss. My mind was in another place, you know.
I am glad to say I am studying again. Things slowly start to get better. I feel stronger than before all this happened. And still growing stronger, “I think the most difficult after a depression is to understand it
I'm wrong and it's beautiful
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#13
Hi,

I understand you , Petfles , and I know what is to deal with memory loss , and in my case I think it was diffrent because I had depression folloied with psicose and paranoia attacks , I was really lost in my mind , I can compare my first year as a constant bad trip , I wasnt able to have a normal conversations because I forgot all the context of that conversation in about some seconds and sometimes I become agressive , is difficult to focus in a task when we have thousands of voices in the mind , oh yes is frightening .
I hope you find " the one " , teachers plants can help us and I believe they exist to help us , but remember you need to trust them .

best regards
when following its first experiment the young anthropologist asks Don
Juan if it really saw Mescalito- the spirit of the cactus, the shaman
will answer him with its usual and instructive irony: "You believe that's your mother?"
  Répondre
#14
..Thank you for sharing your story!

I have yet to try harder psychedellics but shrooms did amazing things for me. I experimented with my new boyfriend (a few months back) and in the few nights we did it, he was able to help me see that I had been asleep. Finally awakening my mind felt amazing. I am not alive and vibrant and enjoying this beautiful life, the shrooms woke up [arts of my mind oi forgot about years ago.

When hippy flipping, we escaped to another dimension and i dont think I have ever returned. Jimmy and I referr to them not as drugs but as conductors.

Much love and strength to you i your journey.

**SHARE LOVE**
I think I thought I thunk. We drink to get drunk.We smoke to get high but we hippy-flip so we can FLY. Take a pill & digest shrooms, now watch as our love blooms.
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#15
Thank you Chaotic for your words.

I know a shrooms trip can be amazing and magic . I have a long relation with shrooms,it was my second psychedelic , 1 year after take LSD , and as happened with you , shrooms helped me to awake my mind and I had a lot of great experiences with them , and I never had take any psychedelic so much times as shrooms , but be careful , when you say shrooms aren t hard psychedelics but they can be with larger doses , I had some hard terror trips with shrooms and that is maybe the reason of the psicose i had , but I continue to love them and I do not blame them , because i know it was my fault , i took too much and too much times and too much combinations with other drugs .
when following its first experiment the young anthropologist asks Don
Juan if it really saw Mescalito- the spirit of the cactus, the shaman
will answer him with its usual and instructive irony: "You believe that's your mother?"
  Répondre
#16
I can definatley understand too much. I did it, then a few weeks after, tried a small amount and was not ready for it. I haven't done it in a few months out of respect for it and myself. I decided I was much to greedy with it and did not deserve its knowlege as of yet. I am close to feeling ready to attempt a small dosage, very small.

Good luck to you in all that you do!
I think I thought I thunk. We drink to get drunk.We smoke to get high but we hippy-flip so we can FLY. Take a pill & digest shrooms, now watch as our love blooms.
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#17
wow! i'm surprised to read these stories,

for years i was lost, kinda like your story, never knew what to do with myself, had depressions that lasted for years, like u say, not days or months....
i had doctors, pshychologists, pshychiatrists, medication,....
in puberty i started reading alot about psychology just to be able to understand my insane self, started abusing my body and mind as hard as i could, experimented like a madman...well...there's always people with worse stories;...
but i kinda diceided to try to heal myself since no one else would do it for me,

alcohol made me forget my misery a tiny little bit but i knew it was pure poison, nothing but poison, made me agressive. Canabis made me calm, took away nerves, the best calming pill i ever had up till now. I've had antidepressants, anti anxiety pills, sleeping pills, you name it,
nothing helped, depressants against manic depression kinda changed something in me, but it felt like it put a filter on me, which i didn't want...

coke, speed, xtc, all boring to me, i mean, can be fun but no more than that, so honestly in the end i was even getting dissapointed in drugs...

untill this year i started reading about psychedelic stuff, the way psychiatrists did experiments with it, seemed very interesting,
after taking hawaian woodrose and morning glory (together) it felt like i changed my life, i feel more....sometimes there even is a feeling of happiness, a feeling that i thought that only excisted a few times in my life, yaers and years ago, it learned me to live with a little less stress...

Then i started taking lsd, which has been a great experience every time,
after the trips its like my life got a bit better, in a way, feels like i lose a bit of focus and concentration (got extreme problems with my memory) but i enjoy more, colors, sounds, nature, people,
i can't say im still IN the trip, but it kinda did change my life, in a small way...

but i'm still myself, and i consider myself a bit insane...well...a lot,
and i got some ajahuasca at home, didn't test it yet but sure will,
i bought it not just to feel high, but really with the purpose to try to change something in this life, to try to understand something about myself,
i hope that in some way it will be possible to talk about myself, during my trip...talk to anyone or anything that isnt there Big Grin

one of these weeks or months i will do it and let you all know what the influence on my life will be, i do'nt know what i can expect,
but after reading this story of yours i got some hope for something Big

Smile

cheers,

and take care !!
...wandered around on the shores of wisdom and only played with a few shells...
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#18
Yeah, ayahuasca is a hell of an experience. I'm sorry to hear of your depression and what-not, I've been there myself. I was seeing therapists for a couple years back in my teens, though I always refused to take any prescription meds. It took a few years, but I finally got over it on my own. I think moving out of my parents house at 16 and starting college at a very young age, definitely helped. All I needed at the time was freedom. Big Grin

Don't put all your faith in drugs. They can help, but they aren't going to be a one-shot cure for your mental troubles, you really need to fix yourself. I like how you wrote that "kinda did change my life, in a small way... " It seems to me that you already realize what I'm getting at.

That saidl; ayahuasca has done great things for me. I'm also a big fan of mescaline, but that, like all other psychedelics, only leaves me with something to think about after the trip. Nothing really changes much, it's something to experience and then think about later. Taking ayahuasca (oral dmt) creates a change; it makes me feel better when it's over. I don't have any urges to drink, smoke, eat unhealthy food; I just feel like being healthy and living each day to the fullest. It sounds lame, but it's true: it's like a complete psychological reset. For me at least.....
My tingers are fingling.
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#19
Citation : Taking ayahuasca (oral dmt) creates a change; it makes me feel better when it's over. I don't have any urges to drink, smoke, eat unhealthy food; I just feel like being healthy and living each day to the fullest. It sounds lame, but it's true: it's like a complete psychological reset. For me at least.....



thats exactly what i'm looking after !
...wandered around on the shores of wisdom and only played with a few shells...
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#20
spijtig a écrit :wow! i'm surprised to read these stories,




Then i started taking lsd, which has been a great experience every time,
after the trips its like my life got a bit better, in a way, feels like i lose a bit of focus and concentration (got extreme problems with my memory) but i enjoy more, colors, sounds, nature, people,
i can't say im still IN the trip, but it kinda did change my life, in a small way...

i hope that in some way it will be possible to talk about myself, during my trip...talk to anyone or anything that isnt there



Focus and concentratin problems ????????
You're not taking in the best way or maybe is because your depression
In my life i had already thousands of psychedelics experiences , and I don't have any problem with my memory or with concentration and all my teachers confirm that too , and all the tests i made during psychiatric treatment say the contrary ,that my brain is the best and the most perfect tool of my body , and still growing .


About talking with anyone that isn't there!!!! hehehehe

" and talk about your life" !!!!!!

i don't think so , you can't mix your life with ayahuasca.

How you know they aren´t real ????? maybe the hallucinatios is you and your life , and if you think they are not real and if you think ayahuasca gives you hallucinations, i don't know if you have any chance .
when following its first experiment the young anthropologist asks Don
Juan if it really saw Mescalito- the spirit of the cactus, the shaman
will answer him with its usual and instructive irony: "You believe that's your mother?"
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#21
ps, my 'memory issues' have nothing to do with lsd,
its me, some old depressions & smoking pot that cause it

imagine, we are trying to travel to "the other world",
what if one of the guys of the other world deceides to come and take a look over here, wouldn't that be sick...
maybe thats where aliens come from

:lol:
...wandered around on the shores of wisdom and only played with a few shells...
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#22
I understands you Spijtig , i smoke pot too , and when i was psychotic my mind was too much confused to have any kind of concentration.

About "the other World" , there are only one word man , is Cosmos , but I think we aren´t able to see and to hear everything , as Aldous Huxley describe in "The doors of Perception"



You Wrote:

"maybe thats where aliens come from"


Aliens , We are Aliens , Earth is Space , no??????? we live in Space???
Is impossible to go out from space , space is everything , space is god ,we are space , i m God and you are God because i m nature and space is the nature , think about it

as all other planets , I see no diference

greetings
when following its first experiment the young anthropologist asks Don
Juan if it really saw Mescalito- the spirit of the cactus, the shaman
will answer him with its usual and instructive irony: "You believe that's your mother?"
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#23
Citation :I have yet to try harder psychedellics but shrooms did amazing things for me.


I wouldn't be so sure about shrooms not being strong psychedelics. In the right dose and the right setting they can be pretty strong, almost as impressive as ayahuasca. Maybe a few percent less, but not much...

I've been through depression myself, I know the feeling of paranoia and not being able to concentrate on normal communication. I was having the strongest experience of this when I was smoking too much weed. It turned on me like it wanted to tell me "I'm not the solution for your problem, stop smoking me!"
I stopped smoking weed and it became better. Then I re-discovered shrooms and since that time I'm healing, learning more and more how to deal with life in a more positive way. I've only had one strong dmt experience since (syrian rue with mimosa hostilis) and it seemed really similar to a very intense shroom trip, only with an open end to stronger experiences.
The Gnomes have learned a new way to say hoooray!
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#24
Faith has brought me the chance to try ayahuasca with my brother.

Amoak, you make me doubt:
Citation :How you know they aren´t real ????? maybe the hallucinatios is you and your life , and if you think they are not real and if you think ayahuasca gives you hallucinations, i don't know if you have any chance .

I am, as is my brother, a strong soul. We have our psychological problems too. Will we find peace during the voyage? Every time we share our trips (normal doses of mushrooms, lots of mdma, that's about it) we did. But i have visited the salvia realm alone and if dmt is somewhere near i don't know when it is wise to undertake this voyage? I am wondering if we should try a full dose or try less first?
I'm wrong and it's beautiful
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#25
Citation : I am wondering if we should try a full dose or try less first?


From my experience you can't have a weak trip with dmt (at least oral). I tried it three times, every time being very cautious. The first two hardly worked at all (almost no response) and the third, even a pretty low dose, catapulted me into a world that was comparable to a really strong shroom trip, with a lot of potential for more. So better start low and don't be disappointed if there's no effect at first. Approach it as slowly as possible because when it hits you it will hit you hard!
The Gnomes have learned a new way to say hoooray!
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#26
petfles a écrit :. Will we find peace during the voyage?
I am wondering if we should try a full dose or try less first?



Yes i think you will find peace , at least I found mine but this only depends on you , Ayahuasca is really strong and the world can become very confused around you but not inside you , I never feel so safe as with ayahuasca , you feel untouchable , immortal and totaly astonished with the visions .
About the dose , first time just try a standard dose .
when following its first experiment the young anthropologist asks Don
Juan if it really saw Mescalito- the spirit of the cactus, the shaman
will answer him with its usual and instructive irony: "You believe that's your mother?"
  Répondre
#27
i always wanted to trie ayahuasca but i felt not ready for it.
but after reading al these stories i think this might be the solution for my depression that i have for 8 years now.
do you think ayahuasca could help me with my social anxiety wich mainly causes my depression ?
[Image: infected.gif]
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#28
Thanks trypto and amoak. I understand it is wise to take a medium to normal dose. This is the choice i have:
1: 60gr Banisteriopsis caapi & 30gr Psychotria viridis leafs
2: 100gr Banisteriopsis caapi & 50gr Psychotria viridis leafs
3: 3gr Peganum harmala seeds & 10gr Mimosa hostilis root
4: 5gr Peganum harmala seeds & 20gr Mimosa hostilis root
If you can, could you give a suggestion? Take care!
I'm wrong and it's beautiful
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#29
I'd go for a mix of 1 and 2....
60g caapi and 50 viridis
peganum harmala is an analogue, so it's not real ayahuasca. Although you can also have a profound experience I'd go for the real one. Moreover the experience will probably be a bit shorter, but still long enough...
I advise 50gr viridis because in it's dry form it can be very weak, and there is still the brewing process which has to be successful.
What is important is to have the mao inhibition, then you can dose the dmt source as you feel. So maybe better make 100g caapi and drink the half and see if you feel some effects after 45-70min.
Mimosa hostilis is known for a better consistency in potency, so it would be a good spice source. That or viridis or chagroponga is your choice. Viridis beeing the most common in the amazon, folowed by the chagroponga. Mimosa I'm not sure of actual traditional usage. If you go the mimosa route, do a gelatin or white egg processing to remove all tannins before reducing.
Never say Never
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#30
petfles a écrit :Thanks trypto and amoak. I understand it is wise to take a medium to normal dose. This is the choice i have:
1: 60gr Banisteriopsis caapi & 30gr Psychotria viridis leafs
2: 100gr Banisteriopsis caapi & 50gr Psychotria viridis leafs
3: 3gr Peganum harmala seeds & 10gr Mimosa hostilis root
4: 5gr Peganum harmala seeds & 20gr Mimosa hostilis root
If you can, could you give a suggestion? Take care!



You don't need so much caapi , only if you want dispense more money , if you use powder RED caapi you just need 30 or 40 g is ok .
And try don't forget to put a lot of lemon juice , and take a long time to do it , 5 or 7 hors , because the dmt from viridis leaves is hard to dissolve .
With Chapilonga i don't advise you for the first time , and I do not agree with Tryptonaut when he said that Ayahuasca is like a strong shrooms trip , maybe with very little doses and if you don't close your eyes and lie down, I take shrooms since 15 years old and i never had trip with shrooms like ayahuasca and i had really strong shrooms trips even terror trips , and never never had vision as with ayhuasca , only mescaline and iboga can be compared in the visual power .
when following its first experiment the young anthropologist asks Don
Juan if it really saw Mescalito- the spirit of the cactus, the shaman
will answer him with its usual and instructive irony: "You believe that's your mother?"
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