And i thought that you must be English , thats why i used the phrase ?????.Maybe its a generation thing ??? But anyway i think you sound like a sensible person , doing a bigger dose of mushrooms to try to ready yourself for Ayahuasca is a good idea .
"I have been scared before"
Thats natural , Some people have problems because they wont admit that they are scared . Fear is a very important emotion , without it we wouldnt have advanced (???) as far as we have as a race . EVERYBODY gets into a position where they dont feel 100% wonderfull on a trip sometimes . If they havent yet they are going to . The thing is not to take it serîously and to try to keep conscious of what you have done and why . You have to learn not to identify yourself with the bits you dont feel comfortable with , dont indulge in them , not to get into self validating loop/feed back spirals , or start to worry about your own fear = paranoia . Its all the trip , its not you and in at the most in 2 hours everything will become more managable .
Another thing is that you can feel your way forwards with Ayahuasca = 3 g. of P.Harmala and 25 grams of P.Viridis is not going to beam you into another universe . Thats the start dose , to get realy "there" you will need at least 35 g of P.Viridis . I found it very dosable , you can take some , wait till you know you have come up fully and then take some more , and more , and more .
Personaly i think that every drug has been given its mythos , peopel say that this drug does that and another does another thing , so thats what they get . Its mostly physical and mental set and setting = to a certain extent you get what you are waiting for . I have always learnt that when people are given hallucinogens and they are not told what it is that they cant tell the difference .
Where are YOU from ???? Do you know brumijum ???