Speed addiction: finding a way out

[reality_wars]

Hi there. Since my doctor prescribed me dex-amphetamine for ADHD three years ago the impact of that stuff on my life and health is getting really worse. I've been forced to visit my dentist several times because of the breakup of my denture. Social interaction became hard and harder because i feel like loosing my self and all that remains is a feeling of hatred, so it's hard to find any motivation to communicate or, least of all, to make real friends. I distrust everything while on speed, even my best friends (if I had any).

I've tried to stop and dropped my medication but thanks to my environment I soon stepped over on speed from a dealer, that lived in our house for quite a long time. It's cheap ass and people are throwing around with it like candy's on a carnival procession, so it's hard for me to being not confronted with speed. And if it ain't speed, it's cocaine that's going around which side effects are even worse for me.

I found my self in a serious state of addiction and it seems that there's barely no return. Without I'm feeling so demotivated that i wont leave my room for day's, i start eating as a glutton and my self-confidence goes to nothing which makes social interaction even harder as on speed. It's a vicious circle without an end. As hard as I try, there's just no view on living a live without amphetamines.

Frustrated of my self and my addiction I went a bit crazy on the streets and smashed some windows and dissed some officers, wherefore the cops cashed me in and now I have to pay a huge fine. Timing couldn't be worse because my study starts in September and now I'm unable to pay rent for a room and study costs so I also hazard my future perspectives and my career and I can't find a way out of all this.

Really, i don't know what to do. I asked for a admission to a rehabilitation clinic but even there i have to take my dex-amfetamine the doctor said, besides it would also mean that i couldn't start my study. It's hopeless. I have to face a live as an speed-addict, with a fucked up denture and a look in my face like a junk.

Are there any other people here with the same problems or actually, someone that found a way out of his speed addiction? I can need any advise, motivation or good thought regarding my problems, so I would be grateful if you could share some suggestions for a way out of this hell.

 

[mrpink]

I lived a lot of my life treating drug addiction as the disease of lesser human beings. A disease that is by choice only and the result of carelessness and stupidity.

Now that I've had the chance to meet a small number of people in this world who have been affected by it I realize those assumptions are inane, ignorant and not a move in a positive direction for any human being on earth.

I've never been addicted to more than nicotine and my morning coffee, I can't imagine the thoughts that flood your mind on a daily basis considering how aware you are of the problem. For that, I wish I could share your burden to lighten the load.

You have looked for help and the option that's been laid down doesn't seem like much of a solution as you can obviously tell. The medication that got you into this is supposed to save you? Who are these people that want to make you take it? They sound a little absurd.

I don't live where you live nor am I familiar with drug treatment in your area, not even talking about the drug treatment in my area I know nothing about. My advice to you is to sit down with whatever doctor you can and tell him the source of your frustration with the methods of his prognosis. Tell him your concerns and your earnest goals, if you come through as well as you did here I have a hard time thinking a doctor would turn you away. But I feel like you might have already tried that. Talk as loud and as clear as you can about what you need to anyone and everyone willing to listen, somebody will care and find you help.

As far as that goes that's all the advice I can muster. What I do know is that if you are aware of the problem and you are seeking help, you're a lot better than most. A lot of us human beings have skeletons in our closet a lot less daunting than yours and we refuse to bring it to light. Thank you for sharing with us and I hope you find what you're looking for. My thoughts will be with you.

 

[Affirmatory]

Hi reality_wars.

I think you will be ok. You have already recognized what is happening and you are not happy with it. You have had your wake up call. That does not mean it will be easy. There is alot of mental programming to change, bad habits to lose, new good habits to learn. This is a character building experience that will either make you or break you.

I was quite bad. I was on meth more often than not. I became very agoraphobic. I only left the house once a week to get more meth. I developed nervous habits. I would stay up for days when I was on it and sleep for days when not on it. No nutrition. Wouldn't answer my phone. And so nervous. Socially incompetent. The world was grey. As you say, nothing was left but hatred for myself and everything. These thoughts greatly warped my view of the world. Don't worry, just stop burning your brain and the smoke will clear eventually.

At some point I knew I had to stop taking that shit, but I still took it for months after that. I took many 'breaks' and went back to it just as many times, slowly increasing time off and decreasing dose. Eventually I don't take it anymore. My personal opinion is that you need to teach your brain to dislike everything about speed. Harness this negativity and direct it where it belongs, toward this shit drug that is infesting you. You should feel disgusted each time you take some. Eventually you will be so disgusted you won't enjoy it.

Right now I've never felt better. I'm a totally different person. So yeah, it's possible for your life to go shit to good

Good tidings on your journey.

ps. Well done for actually posting this on a forum and trying to get help, my extreme paranoia would have never let me do that

 

[magickmumu]

A good friend of mine has no ADHD but his doctor prescribed him dex amphetamines because of concentration problems. I told him I think his doctor is crazy, because there is nothing wrong with him.

My advise is stay away from doctors who prescribe dex amphetamines, Ritalin, prozac and other drugs to make you more adapted to the system/society.
These drugs may help you in the beginning (quick fix) , but usually they are very destructive in the long run.

@ Reality wars.
I don't have any advise. I am sensitive to addiction myself. I don't do speed. But I do have trouble controlling my marijuana intake and I drink way to much coffee.
however, I wish you a lot of strength and luck fighting your addiction.