Help with setting for LSD.

[Amaranth]

First of all I'd like to state that the following post might be somewhat inconsistent since I'm really tired and english is my 2nd language, so bare with me please.

This next week I'm acquiring 10 blotter tabs. The main reason for this is for self teraputic treatment and just having a "break" from my life. I have a friend which is intressted in taking it with me. More on that later. What I wanna now is how do i make the most out my trip?

I've been depressed since 5 years back. Theres been a lot of ups and downs but the last 2 months I've just been going into a deeper and deeper depression. I think about killing myself every night and lately I've been contemplating on what I really still have to live for. Lets just say that that list is really short. I've been turning inwords and feel somewhat alienated. I don't know how to handle social sitations any more. I don't know what to say to friends I've known my whol e life in normal conversations. I feel somewhat excluded from the everyday world. Sort of put aside one could say.

Well enough about that. What I wanna know is how I create a good mindset to be able to try to resolve some of these problems? I don't expect to be fine after one trip, infact, I dont expect tripping to get me any better at all. I expect to get myself better by using knowladge I've learned through tripping.

I live in a house with my sister, my dad is on vacation for a couple of weeks starting this friday. My sister usually goes to bed at about 10. So I don't if I dare take blotter in my room and trust that I will stay there.

My other options are outside, which is really my very last solution since its freezing outside. About -10Celcius. Other than that it's at my friends house, which I don't know when it'll be empty. Might be never :/. And lastly my cousin.

He smokes cannabis, he even grows it! He is pretty anti all chemical substances, such as LSD. He's even made some pretty negative and degrading remarks about E users. But if theres someone I would trust it outside my direkt family, it would be him. I'm afraid he'll see me as an idiot or something though. I dont wanna risk messing up our freindship.

Also, if you plan on writing and discouraging me doing this, thanks for caring but don't bother. I'm going to do this. This is pretty much my last hope right now. And if I could choose one more thing to do with my horrible life, this would be it.

So to sum things up, how do I get into the right mindset and where should I take it?

If you read this far, thank you =)

 

[GOD]

Your English is good , no one will have any problems understanding it . You didnt say how old you are ? Being honest it would be better for you to try meditation and be honest with yourself as to why you feel like you do or to go and see a doctor . But if you decide to do it meditate first and tell yourself that you are doing it to heal yourself , to try to find answers . When you are coming up on the trip relax and meditate , empty your head of thoughts and continualy repeat a mantra like " Love , Light and Healing " , let it reverberate and echo through your head , as a guide so you know where you want to go and why . Do it in your bedroom with a friend and make sure you have some valium available incase you feel unwell on your trip . You should not take any more valium than 40mg , if you feel unwell it would be better to take 10 mgs and wait 20 minutes and see how it goes . LSD does not solve problems or offer instant answerds , it can even make them seem worse . Do not take it outside or in any form of hostile or insecure environment . If you can get hold of some ecstacy it might be a good idea to take one or two pills 45 minutes before taking the LSD to get in the right mood .

Everyone gets depressed in their lives some times , time heals . You should be contemplating why you feel like you do and be trying to do things to heal it . First of all you should tell yourself that you are a warm loving person and that your problems are just temporary , that everyone has them sometimes and recovers from them . Dont give up its just a phase . You know that you havent given up , i can see that from what you write , you should tell yourself that you are worth fighting for and that your life is a present from god and that problems are there to be solved , to learn from , and that you will come out of it stronger . Go out , mix with people , surround yourself with bright colours , find someone to talk to . I have had things like that with and without trips . I have been in churches and talked to priests and been to see social workers in local government departments . I have even walked up to strangers and asked them to hold my hand for 5 minutes as i feel bad or i have taken a trip and feel a bit strange . Sometimes people have looked at me a bit strangely but no one has ever refused . Old people sitting alone in parks are sometimes good people to talk to , you dont have to talk about your problems , but mostly i have found that if i say hello i feel bad and need to talk to someone for a while they are very helpfull , lots of them are glad to talk to anyone about anything . Talking heals wounds .

Please keep in contact with us and let us know what happens , there are lots of loving , helpfull people here , you are welcome and amongst friends . If we can help you we will .

 

[Amaranth]

Thanks for your responce.

I'm 19. And I guess I should go a bit into why I am depressed. I won't go into much detail though as I'm sick of just thinking about it.

For as long as I can remember, my dad has been an violent, abusive drunk. He's always been degrading me, telling me I'm a good for nothing slob. My mom broke up with him last year and I've been staying with dad since then. My mom lives in a 1 room appartment and she's having some serious financial issues. I don't want to put any pressure on her. She go to work at 2am and is suffering from insomnia, and I'm a night person. I lived there for 2 months(because my dad burned our lower floor up, he dropped an ironing tool on a pile of cloths and left it there. He then blamed the whole thing on my sister) and we really got on eachothers nerves. I just dont want to put my mom through any more stress.

I'd like to share another event with you just to give you an idea of why I dispise my father as much as I do. He began arguing with me over me putting my jacket on my on my bed instead of hanging it up in the hall. Our argument escelated and it ended up with him getting his hunting rifle. I ducked out of my window as soon as I saw him comming up the stairs with it though. I have no idea if he intended to scare me or something worse. I stayed out all night that night and the next day he acted as if nothing had happened. I was 15 at the time. I think you can understand that things like that leave scars.

My whole life seems like a endless catch 22 moment. I can't sleep at night because he is up making a racket fixing things that dont even need to be fixed. he's using powertools(saws, screwdrivers, etc) in the middle of the night. And then in the morning he complains about me sleeping to long. If I somehow managed to talk the authorities into giving me a what we here call "crysis appartment" I know my did would kill himself. He would see it as me abonding him. Couple of months ago he said that everything he lives for right now is me and my sisters, and the moment he gets us up on our on feet he will kill himself. I mean how can he even say that!? The moment I get well he'll frickin' kill himself? Yeah great motivator dad. He's not even helping us get on our own feet. My sister works 12 hours a day 6 days a week and my dad says she lacks motivation. What the heck does he even mean by that? bah I'm getting upset here.

I actually did contemplating over why I am sad and what I can do about it, but lately I've just been to drained out of energy to do anything. Which is apart of why I'm getting worse I think. I know I gotta do something but I just cant get myself to do it. Everything just seems like such a hassle.

Eitherway, this topic shouldn't be about that.

I have tried meditating on earlier occasions with some success. I find soft, repetetive trance music help a lot. So I guess I'll follow your tip and meditate. I'll rent my friend a movie or something and convince him to act as a sitter for me. The same guy I buying the blotter from sells E. I even purchased 5 pills about a week ago.

I appriciate your tips on self healing by help of strangers. I actually often have a great urge to just ask someone if they'll hug me for a while. Just hold me and say things will be ok. I'm to much of a wuss to actually go through with it though. I'm really shy when it comes to walking up to strangers. I get norvous just by having to ask someone for direction. This ofcourse have gotten a lot worse as I feel more and more seperated to society. Even though I know thats the reason I just cant do anything about it. It's like I'm at the mercy of my own depression.

I know it might seem foolish, maybe even stupid to do this but I just know that I have to. I promised myself I wouldn't commit suicide prior to atleast once achieving a perfect trip and just feel as one with the world. And now it feels like I just can move on till I've done this. I guess I'm just rambling now. I dropped 1/3 of one of those E pills I purchased when I started writing this post(40, 50 something minutes ago) and I guess its that comming on cause I'm having some trouble focusing and finding words. I also have this urge to share all of this with you. I usually don't open up much and talk all that much about my problems. I should mention that this is my first time dropping E. Thus the low dosage, just wanted to try it out.

It's really comming on strong now so I think I'm just gonna go lie down.

Thanks a lot for your post GOD, it glads me that someone, out there, actually took the time to care about my situation and try and help me. I cant describe this feeling.

 

[GOD]

This sounds like you are in big shit . Your dad has very serious mental problems , you dont . You sound like a sensible loving person , you dont sound foolish at all . But something has to change , your dad cant keep on blackmailing you and your sister and ruining his familys lives . His life is his and if he wants to kill himself thats his thing . You can not allow you and your sister to be tortured and kept prisoner all your life . You are the only ones that can do anything about it , or are you going to acept that your lives are going to be ruined by your dad . The least you should do , at the moment , is to go to someone and get advice . Maybe a psychiatrist , your local governments social services / medical department , citizens advice office or just go to a hospital and ask if you can talk to someone . But tell them its private and forbid them to do anything about it or to talk to anyone about it first . You should also be honest with yourself , your dads problems will not solve themselves . If anything they will only get worse . He is responsible for his life and for what he does with it . Most people who are like that change , go and get help if they are sensibly and lovingly confronted with their problems . Some of them get worse and start shooting . You should think about your own safety and your own futures . You are in the situation and you are the only one that can do anything about it . Go and talk to someone before the situation spirals down to a disaster . It would be best if you could have some sort of break for a few days or weeks , so that you can see the situation better and get a clear picture of what you can do and of what could happen if you dont do anything .

The gun is a serious problem , are you physicaly strong enough to defend yourself if he hasnt got it ?

I think that everyone on this forum who is reading this is thinking about you now and sending you their love and a telepathic hug . Dont give up , dont let it get you down , love yourself and do your best .

Love GOD

 

[Guest]

Hey Amaranth.
That's quite the story, I'm sorry to hear your dad is such a mess.

For the trip I think one of the most important things you have to remember is: This is for you! This session you are planning is yours and yours alone!
Your dad can't take that away from you.

Shit man, I can't stand the fact that I see too many parrents who have absolutely no clue whatsoever what their doing to their children

I understand this must be really hard, but you'll have to try and be the most sensible of the 2 in order for you to not get hurt anymore.
Ofcourse it will always hurt to see him like that, but try to keep in mind that the only thing you can change is your perspective on it.
It's hard if you don't have hobbies or a lot of friends, because when your always busy and happy with what you do it helps to be more upbeat and happy in everyday life.

It's a lot to grasp for a 19 year old, but you have to get yourself out of the victim role.
That way you are not a victim anymore and you can look beyond the terror that your dad is causing in the house.
It sucks when you don't get much sleep and the first thing you hear in the morning is that "you sleep for too long"
You'll have to get really strong to rise above it and I wish you all the positive energy in the world (it's not luck you need).

Your sister nor yourself are responsible for this situation and while your dad should be wisest, he clearly is not.

Love and Light brother

Keep in touch!

 

[Forkbender]

I feel for you, Amaranth, your story has touched me.
All you need is love. Since you are in a situation where you don't get a lot of love from others, you need to find it within yourself. Accept the way you feel and you can start to feel differently.

How did the E turn out? Did you learn anything? How do you feel about yourself?

I'd suggest doing E (a larger dose) at least once before you take acid, don't rush the experience, it might be very harsh. E is way easier to handle and the first couple of times can be *very* therapeutic. Don't overdo it, however, because your serotoninlevel might get a blow because you are already depressed and shit.

Look out for yourself. You are worth it.

 

[Meduzz]

sorry to hear all that dude...
i hope the trip can give you some positive energy, which you need very much like space said. try to mentally grow away from the whole thing. i know it's hard, but try to see the problems with your dad like an outsider would see them, this way it doesn't hurt that much and you have less chance of doing impulsive things.

your toughts about comitting suicide are dangerous, it's your home situation that has a problem, and it reflects on you.
whatever you do, don't comit suicide. you aren't going to be at home forever... you know that. don't blame yourself, don't punish yourself.

i don't know if alcohol is the source of your father's behavior, but if it is, try to help him... a relationship must work in 2 directions. now it's him ruling over you... try to "rule" over eatch other, it's called "helping".

alcohol or not, your father's behavior has a source, don't fight the symptomes, fight the disease.

good luck...

 

[forgetoz]

Hi there!

I really feel bad for you and at the same time have the most respect for dealing with what are you going trough with such a clear mind.

On the topic of the LSD trip, I don't think it is a very wise decision. I believe everyone here is aware of the common factor between LSD and Depression (that would be Serotonin), and messing with something that is already out of balance can have some pretty bad results (or amazing ones, of course).

It will sound cliché, but I'll try and seek for help in other forms...maybe a psychiatrist, a stranger avaliable to talk or maybe some nice conversations in here =)

 

[Roeligan]

Hi Amaranth,

You have experienced some heavy stuff and I think you are very rational thinking for someone with that much shit in his past.

You said that you have got a few weeks without your father, that should be about enough time to reflect on the subject before you take the acid. I think you could best first take some E after the first week without your father, then the anxiety should be a little less and it will give you the mind to think about what you want to do and what other sollutions are at hand.
If you would decide to go through with the acid, I would say to do it not earlier then the last couple of days alone, that way you have got the least tention of the last contact with your father in your nerves.
When you take the LSD, be sure you haven't eaten in at least 4 hours, and probably best go walk in nature when you take it, and after about half an hour when it comes up to get home again, that should give you a calm mind. I would suggest to take it in the place that feels most safe for you, wether it is your own home or your cousins or any other. Probably some calm, comforting music to let your mind get steady and focus on the problem you want to focus on is a good idea as well.
In your case a sitter is a must, because the suicidal feelings tend to come to the surface when tripping and noone would want you to commit suicide, life is so much more then only the teenage years you have gone through untill now, good things will come your way, wether its in a day, a month or even a year, things will change!
If you would like to talk more, you can always pm me, I suppose thats easier then walking up to a stranger and empying your heart.

Love and sanity,
Roel

 

[trick]

I am very sorry that you have to go through all that you are right now, but everyone has times in their life that are prety crappy but rember that its just a small bump on the road of life.

If you have some spare time try too do some research on the Zen Mind, i beleve that if you were to discover it that you can solve all of your problems without the aid of a psychedelic, the last thing you need at this point is a bad trip on LSD.

"Watch the grass grow. No matter how many people tread on it, no matter how manny storms strike away at it, it continues to grow upward. That is your true nature. Nothing or no one can stop you from doing what is yours to do."

"Create space in your heart. When the pain of life fills you completely, open your heart a little more. Pain tries to close the heart, and fear locks it closed. When you open up, fear cant fill you, for there are no walls to hold it"

Once a great teacher sat with his students. One who had been suffering with a certain problem for sometime asked what he should do to over come it. the teacher answered "do nothing. just sit a little longer." But the student couldnt wait anymore so he left the teacher and the practice he was following never to return.

The teacher shed a tear and said to those who remained "had he made it through this last test, he would have been enlightend. had he lasted a few more moments, everything would have changed."

We can never know whats around the next corner.

All of these sayings are the way of the zen mind, if you live them nothing in the world change who you are. Before the depression and family issues im sure that you were happy sometime or another, but all of this has changed who you are. One last saying, "Be like the wind: Blow over everything without becoming any of it." in other words get through this situation without letting it change you, you are who you are, dont let anyone try to change that.

Love TricK

 

[spice]

According to zen, it is the urge to classify and divide experiences into good/bad, or right/wrong which is, according to the masters, a 'sickness of the mind', yet we are all guilty of it to some extent.

From a purely detatched, zen mind, I would say that you cannot allow your dads shortcomings to become your own, which is PRECISELY what they will do if you feel in the least responsible for his fate. You are not.

He is.

By questioning these circumstances, you have begun a long walk, the walk of life, and discovery of self.

He is emotionally blackmailing all of you with his behaivour.

Whether he realizes it or not, he is trying to keep you from growingf. Change is essential to life. Obviously he is one of the many who cannot cope with this.

Sadly, trying to force change not to happen leads to REAL change, faster.

Get out, ASAP...let us know...


PS My advice is to find some raver-types and do a lot of mdma with them....you'd be amazed at some of the conversations you'll have with people when you do.

What you are experiencing is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder....you need XTC, man.

 

[????????]

I like that you are giving yourself the opportunity to see things from a different perspective. And that's what you'll get, if you experiment with psychedelics in a thoughtful and reflecting manner you will be amazed at how one can shift ideas on important subjects. You dropped some E and already started feeling the effects when posting, this is good, these good feelings are in you and the E brings them out. I can only recommend thinking. If you go ahead and try LSD with your good intentions the thinking will come and you'll gain a new mindset of everything. As it's been said here do it in the best, safest place for you, and take your time.

Keep in mind that the things you do before tripping are VERY much important. They'll be your baggage for the trip. So pack your bags with good things, if possible take 3 days, one to be in a positive set and relaxed, one to actually trip and the third day to just swallow things. Looking forward to hear your experiences, good luck man. :yawinkle:

 

[Guest]

No one really answered your precise question about setting yet.

In your room with your friend sounds pretty good to me :thumbsup:

 

[Guest]

Amaranth, IMHO, do a large dose of lsd in a good set and setting. remember that you have to trust the person you are tripping with, and don't lock yourself in a house. trip in daylight, i always find day time experiences much more nicer and with less probability of having a bad trip (this is my opinion, perhaps you may have another perception).
i can understand your depression, because my life shares many things with yours. my mother also blackmailed me, and i saw her endless times saying that she was going to end her life with pills, and doing so. many times i saw her fainted, and i was so little (6 y.o., more or less) that i always thought she was dead. there i was, endless times, looking at my mother's corpse (so i thought). my father many times rescued her, driving her to hospitals, and so on. then, one day, my father said "catch you later", and i never saw him again. my brother also left the house to go to work, and i saw him 2 or 3 a year. there i was, 12 or 13 years old, alone with my mom, being "the man of the house". then, she got sick. real sick. she developed a strange syndrom in her brain. she fainted all the time at work. could not look into computer or TV screens. she would have epileptic attacks, but that was not the problem. no doctor until this day solved what's wrong with her.then, she was obligated to retire from work and we both had to live with her tiny wage. the only person in the world that i could count was her, i had no one else. both sides of the family abandoned us, the father side because my father also walked away (i still cannot understand why), and my mother's side, because they blamed her (the woman has to carry all the guilt, and portugal is an underdeveloped county in social awareness skills).
now, all this to say that i also thought of suicide many times in my life, and many times i backed out. other times, i have put a loaded gun into my mouth and thought of a good reason not to press the trigger. all my teens i would say the setence "death is certain, let's see how far life goes". i wanted to see how the "movie" would grow. now, my life is not that bright either, but one has to learn how to live with the better of each other. learn how to look through other person's shell. a massive bad trip of lsd will heal you instantaneously (perhaps GOD won't agree with me, but i speak from my experience), it did for me. i now see things from another perspective, not of forgiveness, but as a failiure of a person towards the "table of values" used by society. we happen to be in the middle of it. the only thing that i can say i learned from this (the one that can be expressed by words, of course) is that it is my deed to be a better father than the one i had. to raise a normal family and have a normal life. psychedelics happen to be the bridge between what i have learned and the things i have discovered and thought by myself. don't misjudge your being by the experience it has, you have to reach the most inner core of you (and me, and all of us...i mean ALL!) to learn exactly how things are. and belive me that you will know when you reached it. it is like an orgasm, but infinite times bigger, better and overwhelming.
i hope that i have helped, let us know how the experience went.
a big warm hug.

 

[trick]

Oh ya and i aggree with space-is-the-place, in your room with a good friend and the addition of some positive trance music with incense burning. heres a link to a website that has the perfect music four you.

http://www.di.fm/content/a-state-of-trance/

ive always got this playing..

theres about 10hours worth of amazing music on that page.

 

[Amaranth]

I can't belive the amount of people that posted in this thread! It'll be quite hard to respond to all of this. I wrote down note's of my thoughts as I read all your posts so this might be a little incoherrent(might not be the right word, but I think so :S)

First of all, I'm booking an appointment at the local youth treatment center(they deal with everyone under 20 with psychological, health, etc problems) as soon as I'm done with this post. The amount of thinking I've done since my original post is immense, it feels like several days since I posted that, yet 70% of my time since then I spent in my bed, just thinking. Being really depressed from time to time, but also having, what I would call, moments of clarity.

As for my dads gun, it was burned down in the fire since he kept it in the cellar. I'm psycally stronger then him now for sure. And he knows it. Thats why he isn't violent towards me anymore(pushing, shoving etc. He's never directly hit me with his fist, he kicked me once though).

Even though I can overpower him if things turned for the worse. I still "obey"(in lack of a better word) him, because if I don't he will gp nuts. And then things will only be harder here, he will probably drink even more and he will most likely take measures against me that I don't even want to think about. He often wants me to do physical work around the house, right now I'm building the floor of our porch that he ripped up to put some pipes down there. It's -10 outside and I'm not exactly a carpenter :/. This is sort of what I mean by "obeying" him. And ofcourse not talking back when he says I sleep to long and stuff like that.

The E wasn't all that exciting. I just felt an urge to share my current situation with people. And I felt like, genuine love from GOD. I know it sounds odd. I didn't get europhoric or had much of a mood lift for that matter.

Speaking of E, theres this girl I've been talking to for about 6 months over MSN, she's in a simular situation as me. She's comming over this friday or saturday and we're gonna watcha movie and drop some E. I'm really excited about this cause I really like her. The problem is that I don't know if I wanna bring her here while my sister is here. She's 3 years younger than me and it feels like my sister will judge me for it. I'm thinking of just saying to hell with it and bringin her here anyway. Screw what everyone will think of it. I've always been very wary about what friends and family will think of my girlfriends/potential ones.

I don't think that alcohol is the source of my father's problems, I think its a big factor though, call it a booster or accelerant. My dads dad had the exact same problem. He was an alcoholic and violent. My dad and he even ended up in a knife fight. I was to young at the time to remember it though, my mom told me about it last year. My dads dads dad was also an alcoholic, he killed himself by jumping of a cliff, he took 2 of he's sons with him when he jumped(not my dads dad though, he had 6 sons). So my dads side of the family is full with tragedy.

I will embrace the time my father is going away. I've promised myself to try and get my life going during that time, starting with my date . I'm gonna do everything I can to get a job, I dont care what it is, cause as soon as I do I can move out of here.

"Create space in your heart. When the pain of life fills you completely, open your heart a little more. Pain tries to close the heart, and fear locks it closed. When you open up, fear cant fill you, for there are no walls to hold it"

this quote really got me thinking, cause all the time I keep getting more and more immune to feeling things. Even though I'm depressed I still don't react as bad as I used to when dad insults me. On the other side I can't project my feelings either. It's exactly like the quote says, my heart is locked. Yet everytime some feelings can escape through the walls that hold my heart locked up, it feels good. Be that feelings of love or hate. Crying relieves me.

I would love to meet some rave people, I don't know how to get in touch with them though. And I'm afraid(as with girlfriends) what my friends would think. They are good friends yet they are very narrowminded. They tend to think that everyone that dress or do something somewhat out of the ordinary are having mental issues. I know I shouldn't care about what they think, yet I cant take that step and speak up. I just cant and I can't explain why even though I know I should =/.

Daytripper your story really touched me. It makes me happy to hear that you can go through something like that and still see the light at the end of the tunnel. I recognise myself on a lot of things in your story. I to have felt like "the man of the house" in the sense that I felt like I had to take care of my sisters and mom(when we all lived together). They never stood up for themself. I stood up for them, I was the only one who dared to talk back to him, I made sure that if he was going to argue with anyone, it was going to be me. If he was going to shove someone, it was going to be me. And it worked. My sisters rarely argue with him. They think he is a big hassle though ofcourse. As of lately though(last 6 months or so) I've stopped talking back to him. It feels like if I do things will just be worse. He has since then begun arguing a lot with the sister that still lives here.

I promised myself, just as you've done daytripper, that I one day will be a much better father than he has ever been. I want to bring up my own child to this world in a happy environment one day.

I cried several times while writing and reading your posts, and I can truthfully say that it felt good, really good. Just wanted to point that out.

I'm going to read up on zen, it seems like something really worth learning about.

I never thought I would find this much wisdom on this forum, it seems like an odd thing to say but I think I've learned some of the most valuable things I know through reading this forum.

I'll post again soon, thanks for your posts again everyone.

edit: I just realise that I didn't wrote squat about LSD in this post, I'm sorry for going of topic with this thread but I don't wanna abondon this now that I finally think that there might be a way out of this for me(my depression that is)

 

[spice]

Now you're talking. Hope springs eternal...this is just part of a process you're going through, and I know it sounds corny, but one day you'll look back on this and perhaps see things differently. Wise words from GOD; Time heals.

It seems like what you really need is reassurance that the things you think and feel aren't 'depraved' or 'wrong'.....

Living in a culture where there is a lot of pressure to conform is eroding to one's self confidence and depletes ones mental energy. Where you are is no different than a lot of places, people do not realize that there are other alternatives than the local way of life.

It may just be that you are destined for greater things than your friends....maybe, maybe not, but you indicate a certain
persistent doubt in the validity of cultural values and a kind of distrust of the 'accepted' way things are, which means you're questioning things, the first good sign.

Nothing can ever change until you accept in your heart that it needs to. It is hard to realize that sometimes you cannot allow people to hold you emotional hostage, and you just have to get on with your life....

These behaivours happen in a chain, father to son to son to son, as you have noticed already....the great sign is upon you though, now YOU have access to the KEY for understanding things on a level many people dont, and never will....this 'key' is the beautiful world of psychedelics.

Amaranth, there is a reason governments place psychedelics on their most restricted lists and reserve great punishments for the producers of them, and that reason is this;

They can allow YOU to control your own mind. Reprogram it. They move your bullshit detector to high alert. You become more fully who you COULD be, if you can make friends with these powerful allies.

Good luck, and pm any of us, any time.

 

[Guest]

Don't worry about the offtopicness, that's not really an issue here on this forum

But I must warn you, go easy on the E, if to large amounts of Serotonin are produced in the brain because of a drug it will have less serotonin receptors afterwards, so once in a while is ok, but next time, take some more time to recover and don't use it too often.

Just an advice

I'm very glad to hear you have made an appointment at the local youth treatment center.
I hope they can help you a bit in your situation.

All the best!

 

[Forkbender]

Sounds like you're on the right path, even without psychedelics. You can always share your story here, even if there's no drugs involved. Easy on the E, like Space said, cause it can unbalance your serotonin level, which is not a good thing for depressed people. But I guess the third didn't do that much yet, so your safe for the next one.

Hopy you have a great date!
Cheers,
Fork

 

[????????]

glad to hear from you man, I think almost everything has been said, good luck with everything :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: