Fucked up

[Spidi]

@magickpencil: That's a nice and very open opinion, but I'm not like that. I think trust is a very important part of a relationship. It's rather absurd to me imagining a couple telling each other who they fell in love with yesterday. Nevertheless, if a couple CAN have this kind of relationship, that's (very) nice for them. I'm just not able to, and I don't think alot of people are.

@Stighar: Wonderful. Just wonderful. Your post has helped me alot. I am trying to explain why, but I can't :l Just, believe me, it did

@All: You know, the two extremes "tell her to fuck off" and "take her back" aren't good at all. It has to be something in between. But to discover what is in between and what is good for me is the hardest part.

My girlfriend and I will talk, later, when she has cleared her head more. I sent her a mail in which I stated my opinion, and we called an hour today. She doesn't know the reason for her behaviour. She can't believe she didn't love me anymore, and she doesn't know if she still loves me. But then I think: what the fuck is it then? Just wanting to fuck me over?
So know she is trying to found out if she didn't love me anymore and such, but I think that's ridiculous; she has to think about now.

I want to thank you all for your help. I don't think I can be helped much more here. Right now, I have to talk to real people and to my girlfriend later. And ofcourse, with myself
But if someone wants to say something, I won't stop you!

Thanks.

 

[Spidi]

Man, I can't believe it...

Yesterday, I talked with a girl, who used to be a girlfriend of my girlfriend. She didn't help much actually, but just getting everything out felt good. Than I talked to another girl, and she said the same as my mother said: people make mistakes, if you really still love her and she loves you too, forgive her.

Tonight I talked to my girlfriend. And to be honest: it didn't feel like we weren't together anymore. My hate disappeared. I felt the disappointement and the anger coming sometimes, but then I looked into her eyes that were so full of regret and guilt, that I just had to love her.

So, when I'm with her, I love her without a doubt. When I'm alone also, but then I hate her much more for what she did. And for that reason we cannot be together (yet). But we can't be totally separated too, our connection is still too strong. So that will mean that we will just be friends. Though I'm sure we will be together again soon, she knows too. So it's actually a break now, which is the best thing for both of us.

AND DAMN DO I FEEL GOOD THAT'S OVER WITH, BACK TO LIFE NOW!

Thanks again everyone! I hope someone, one day, encounters this thread who is in the same shit as I once. This should help him :wink:

 

[magickmumu]

good news
8)

:thumbsup:

keep it up.

 

[magickpencil]

glad to hear it's resolved on a positive note

 

[Bastiaan]

Had the same experience
I was devastated (left a big scar across my heart)
I couldn't handle it at all I could'nt even think anymore I didn't know how to respond at all
I could not understand her desire to be with anyone other then me at all.. I loved her so much that I would never do something like that to her, ever, period! Even apart from that I had no desire to be with anyone else, not even when being long times apart..
She was so full of regret
She cried and said she felt like shit
I could not forgive her
How do I trust you I asked?
Same as you said it felt like a complete waste of love and time
How could I have been so wrong about someone and have had all these sincere feelings of love..

Looking back now I wish I would have handled it differently
I very greatly admire the way you have handled this and I am very happy for you!
The impact such a thing can have is not to be underestimated
I had always been a strong dude, ready for anything..
But this left me shattered completely

We are still friends now even though we don't see each other often
I think she still feels regret in her heart to this day
I feel that she loves me still and I still love her as well but I won't allow her to get close and hurt me again
It was just done too easily and not enough was said that made me feel like she was serious about it and wouldn't do it again.. I deserve better


This topic has really moved me quite a bit :S

 

[Lion]

Had the same experience
I was devastated (left a big scar across my heart)
I couldn't handle it at all I could'nt even think anymore I didn't know how to respond at all
I could not understand her desire to be with anyone other then me at all.. I loved her so much that I would never do something like that to her, ever, period! Even apart from that I had no desire to be with anyone else, not even when being long times apart..
She was so full of regret
She cried and said she felt like shit
I could not forgive her
How do I trust you I asked?
Same as you said it felt like a complete waste of love and time
How could I have been so wrong about someone and have had all these sincere feelings of love..

Looking back now I wish I would have handled it differently
I very greatly admire the way you have handled this and I am very happy for you!
The impact such a thing can have is not to be underestimated
I had always been a strong dude, ready for anything..
But this left me shattered completely

We are still friends now even though we don't see each other often
I think she still feels regret in her heart to this day
I feel that she loves me still and I still love her as well but I won't allow her to get close and hurt me again
It was just done too easily and not enough was said that made me feel like she was serious about it and wouldn't do it again.. I deserve better


This topic has really moved me quite a bit :S

ditto that my man.
only on my side it got a fuckload worse then just that one thing.
anyway, i wish i dealed with it differently, and to this day we're not even friends. i don't think she dares to look at me either..