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flashbacks

  • Auteur de la discussion Auteur de la discussion 31andsunny
  • Date de début Date de début

31andsunny

Neurotransmetteur
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22/12/10
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Around 5 months after having my bad trip on shrooms and liek 2 months since doing ne drugs. (Weed) iIwas in one of those sleep scedules where i was up all night and sleeping all day, and since i was struggling with depression and anxiety it wasnt exactly the best thing being alone all night and then sleep while everyones up. So i was trying to stay up all night and all day and go to bed at a normal time to fix it. It could be because i was very tired, it was around 8 am and i was on the computer and i just randomly having intense flashbacks to my trip. Parts i didnt even remember about, its like all the memeroies of it all came back at once and i was terrified. I didnt know what was happening, i was actually shaking i was so scared. and then after it happened i started forgetting it. like hour after it happened i could barly remember it, couple days later was completely gone. ive had mild flashbacks after this but never as bad as that first one. I cant even begin to describe the flashbacks its like im trapped in this other dimension.

id really appreciate info on this. like is the memeroies so traumatic that im repressing them, like ptsd? has any one else experienced somthing similar to this?
 
Like I said before, I've had the exact same experience. I was plagued for months with the question of whether I should kill myself, submit to psychotherapy, overload on anti-depressants and what not...

The answer is you're going to have a long year ahead of you. Sorry to say it - you'll have your ups, but you'll have some very intense downs as well. You need to learn how to specifically cope with them. I could give you my own advice, but I've spewed it out so many times I'm really getting sick of hearing myself talk about it.

The big thing is, there is nothing wrong with you; AT ALL. You were destined to do this, and here you are. You will feel insane at times, and think you'll never get better. That is just a thought, an induced and influenced thought from, yes, traumatic stress that you endured.

You will realize that the "Bad" you see in the world is simply a veil. You can lift this veil - you can put on a "good" one. The scariest part though, is when you see with no veil. The brain needs something to compare things to, you will struggle with an identification of WHY this happened to you, but even if you find an answer, the cure is far deeper.

Allusion really helped me with my dealio. He insisted I was doing it to myself, and that is the truth - do not label yourself with any type of sickness (there is nothing wrong with you!), you just have retained the thought path of the trip. That path will ALWAYS be negative. You cannot change that, but the wiser you become the stronger your surrounding paths will become, either overgrowing the old negative, or realizing that the "bad" path is just a path. There are many paths to your destination, all vary in their extremety and emotion, all are bound to you.

Accept the waves when they come. Forget them when they go. Don't block them, don't subdue them, just live it, learn it.

Ps, sorry I'm so bleak, I just don't want to give you that "just accept it" bullshit. Alot easier said then done. You're going to have an intense time, know that - but realize this is something to grow from. You'll look back on this in 3 years and just say "damn". Also you'll realize how much you've grown in those three years.

Feel free to pm me if you feel the need.
 
i'd like to pm u but i cant figure out how. lol but i have to ask, does it ever go away or do you just find ways to cope?
 
it goes away, I think you need 20 posts in order to pm.

It does go away - you'll have hundreds of revelations about what it is that specifically happened to you. Since you're not me, the reasons, causes, settings, are not the same, so you will have to deal with it personally, however, the general circumstances, over a large scale, are similar.

I have to go to work, but have you ever tried meditating?
 
oh okay.

yeah, I've tried meditating a few times. Im trying to do it everyday but i keep putting it off. it did help me with anxiety after 20 minutes, it made me feel a bit calmer.
 
Prayer works too. I had flashbacks for three years and it took my relationship with God to keep me sane. Wont push a particular God on you. I believe that no matter what you call God when you pray the real God hears your prayers and answers you. Its up to Him whether he reveals himself to you as his natural form or allows you to believe whatever you want about him. (Thats all just personal opinion, dont mean to offend but dont wanna lie either, think we're all mature enough to agree to disagree on this if need be.)

With that having been said I would just try praying to "god" and let things go naturally. Dont call him anything in particular. Dont even see him as a him if you dont want to. Can call him it or her, things will straighten themselves out naturally as God sees fit over time.

When you pray you can pray for things like:

Peace.
Tranquility.
Rest.
Sanity.
Healing.
Freedom.
Control.

Allow your mind to flow naturally. I found the best way to enhance my prayer life was to get to a point where I stopped getting upset with my thoughts that I didnt want and instead just realize 'its just a thought'. Realize when your praying your perfectly safe provided your body is perfectly safe. Sure you can think the wrong things or bump into beings that are a problem but 'faith' is all about believing 'truth' and if you accept the 'truth' that 'God is in control' then nothing can harm you when you pray. Everything will work itself out.

One of the major benefits to having horrible drug experiences is you can learn a lot about yourself. That that doesnt kill you makes you stronger type stuff. Also lets you relate to people with the same problem and help them along later. Lets you know 'hey i can do this'. Puts things in perspective. Its like for me I've been so close to death so many times death doesnt really scare me. I know I will die at the right moment, in the right place for the right reasons. Until then reality is just gunna have to deal with me being alive lol.
 
(if GOD was still on this forum he'd have a massive rant prepared for this topic)

Ive had similar experiences and the worst was when i was doing something exactly like you were with the sleeping thing
staying awake for 24 hours to set my sleeping pattern back to normal
it was around 8-9am and i was in my room very lightly stoned (had a small hit like 2 hours earlier) and BAM
it was the same feeling as my bad trip on acid only i was more lucid
extreme level of anxiety and fear and confusion and fucked up head shit going on
i went straight to bed and tried to sleep it away

it does go away, i havnt had anything near as extreme again since but i have had milder "flashbacks" dno if thats the right term because for me its not a memory thing its in the present
tho for me its been about 6 months or maybe more since the bad trip
definately improving over time though
from being debilitating to hardly there at all and very infrequent

good luck :D
 
yeah i haven't smoked weed in 2-3 months, last time i did i had a flashback to a different feeling then the one im talking about now. and had a massive panic attack that lasted honestly over 10 hours and i couldn't sleep because everytime i was about to drift off, id get woken up with intense fear. but then 2 months or so after this about 5 after tripping under the influence of no drugs, i was even thinking i was finally over all this shit and then boom. i had this massive flashback that was almost worse then the one i got from smoking weed. but ever since my last strong flashback i had, about a week ago. i feel like im over it. but ive felt like that before, and as soon as the flashbacks hits boom i was completely scared. as it is now tho i get anxiety just being around the smell of weed, last time i had a flashback was around the smell. or it could've been that i ate like a whole bunch of sweet tarts. sugar seems to make me have more anxiety. the first flashback i described, i was drinking i lot of pop. now i dont drink any pop only water because it makes me have anxiety.
 
Crimzen a dit:
(if GOD was still on this forum he'd have a massive rant prepared for this topic)

I mostly ignore rants. Not knowing this person at all and I do assess people individually when I deal with them but generally speaking people who go on tirades or rants against religion have a tendancy to not realize where they are coming from is mostly emotional and has nothing to do with the 'psychology' or 'spirituality' of the conversation. Ive dealt with flamers all my life on forums even before I got into the relgious discussions and after a while you get a pretty good sense of where they are really coming from as opposed to the 'logic' of what they are saying.

I have probably dealt with several hundred ranters and ravers about religion over the past 12 years and its more sad then comical when you realize that they are mostly almost always saying the same thing and mostly almost always thinking they are the first ones to say it.

Mostly I pray for ranters and hope they workout whatever theyre goin through thats making them think like that. Generally its not pretty. I dont chime in and I certainly dont get mad. If I get really bored I might feed a troll or two but thats generally only if im in a bad mood and not paying attention to myself properly. I try to restrain that part of me but I am also only human and my carnal self can derive inappropriate pleasure from manipulating people with emotional problems that are being abusive. I dont like admiting that part of myself exists but it does and I admit it primarily to show that I understand where the flamers are coming from. When I was in college I was a die hard athiest so much so that I sent one Christian back to reread the bible because after a two hour conversation with him I had him rethinking parts of it and questioning his own salvation. But then a year later after I got saved I was so good at debating it I was involved in a discussion thread on one of my gaming boards that went for over 1000 posts and ended up converting the lead developer of the game lol.

I'm side lining here cuz this is the first post Ive seen even remotely hinting at flaming me here for my beliefs. I've always found it ironic that 90% of the counter cultures that preach tolerance doesnt preach tolerance of Christianity because they believe they are being intolerant! True tolerance tolerates even the intolerant. (Just like it makes me laugh that those CoExist bumper stickers have every religion but Satanism on em. Satanism is a valid religion too and I have several friends that are satanists and we get along just fine.)

Ive held back most of my beliefs because I wanted to test the waters and see how people would recieve me. I feel ive made enough of a presence here to show that I am not some flaming conservative coming in from some holier then thou christian website trying to bash and convert everyone. Hopefully by now people will take me as just another point of view to consider and realize I am not trying to push my beliefs on anyone any more then psychonauts should go out and try and dose everyone with LSD or something lol. :D

As for how this all ties into the flashbacks? I had that 1000 post discussion that ended in the conversion of the lead developer during those three years and I found that as I was dealing with my flashbacks I was also exploring my spirituality and I thank and praise God quite literally for not only seeing me through it but allowing me to grow beyond the somewhat too conservative lifestyle I was living and delve out further into more liberal territory such as getting back into mind altering experiences. I mean come on how man right wing conservative Christians do you see that look forward to taking the shrooms they just ordered off the internet and having a shamanistic experience with them? Think Ive kind of made my point that I dont think like them and they are primarily the ones that people who rant about christianity are mad at.
 
I know. :) I was refering to if the user named GOD had a rant thats how I would feel about it. Maybe its perfect timing that I got here after all the people that might have ranted at me have left. Or maybe more will come. Who knows.

Who knows maybe we'll be best friends.

I'm already friends with IJesusChrist on here lol. My wife is friends with a guy named Satan, two I think actually. Be just the thing if my best friends are named JesusChrist and God and I am friends with the being Jesus Christ and God as well lol. That just makes perfect sense with how God operates in my life. (Of course talking about God on the forum would get rather interesting. Atleast I can distinguish between JC and IJC. I guess maybe I could do God and GOD lol. Lord! Protect me from typos! (So is there a long lost user named Lord somewhere around here? :D)
 
i meant a rant about flashbacks not religion or spirituality

ive read a bit about ur spirituality and i find it intriguing but there are many points (from what ive seen on the forum only) that i disagree with you about

but im not one to rant at anyone about anything without good reason
 
ohhh haha. Oh well lol. Guess I am so used to being ranted against I took it the wrong way. Kind of expected someone named GOD to rant on religion lol I guess.

Yah, my view on spirituality is usually pretty hard for most people to digest. Its kind of like a middle of the road between two very diametically opposed belief systems. Christians go nuts because I sound so new agey and new agers or however you wanna call the more liberal thinking go nuts because I am steeped so much in Christianity.

I still havnt found anyone who has the beliefs that I have about spirituality and about the more liberal side of things but has the amount of 'dogman' as others would call it that I do. (I define dogma differently though, to me dogma is belief that you have been taught without reason that you believe without having figured it out on your own. All of my beliefs I have figured out on my own and only have had confirmed by dogmatic resources and even then a good portion of it violates the typical dogma that people bark at (pun intended :).

The hardest part I think is that most people who are against the dogma have their own set of dogma as to what they believe about the dogma thats typical in Christianity but they dont want to admit it. They think they are being this radically new free thinker yet they have the same disagreements with the religion that people of the new agish belief systems have been proponing for years.

Yeah, same could be said about me but I really CANT point to anyone else except my wife that believes what I believe about all of this. I mean I have had the trippin on Jesus stuff on my car or in my head for 10 years. I fully believe that God spoke to me through a psychedelic experience because he wanted to show me how psychedelic he is. Yet still he enables me to see and understand the dogmatic lifestyle of most Christians and draw a correlation between the parts that are still relevant to each other.

The number of people that talk to me about their believes in things like wicca and psychedelics, drugs, even satanism and I come back and quote them the scripture that supports their view but inside Christianity is staggering. Most people just dont see the more fringy parts of Christianity. They just hyper forcus on the gospels and the live died resurrected ascended stuff.

Anyway back to the flashback stuff though I guess people are more open to going wherever a conversations goes without getting too itchy over going off topic. If there's something else to say about flashbacks I hope someone chimes in and says it hehe. :)
 
31andsunny a dit:
yeah i haven't smoked weed in 2-3 months, last time i did i had a flashback to a different feeling then the one im talking about now. and had a massive panic attack that lasted honestly over 10 hours and i couldn't sleep because everytime i was about to drift off, id get woken up with intense fear. but then 2 months or so after this about 5 after tripping under the influence of no drugs, i was even thinking i was finally over all this shit and then boom. i had this massive flashback that was almost worse then the one i got from smoking weed. but ever since my last strong flashback i had, about a week ago. i feel like im over it. but ive felt like that before, and as soon as the flashbacks hits boom i was completely scared. as it is now tho i get anxiety just being around the smell of weed, last time i had a flashback was around the smell. or it could've been that i ate like a whole bunch of sweet tarts. sugar seems to make me have more anxiety. the first flashback i described, i was drinking i lot of pop. now i dont drink any pop only water because it makes me have anxiety.

Haha, yeahp I had that too. If people even said weed, or referred to it I'd get tense.

Man how far I've come!

I remember the first time where I was able to take the fear, where I knew I was ok, but was in complete insanity. I was on a river, smoking a joint with my friend for the first time in around 4 months. I remember feeling tense, but determined. I smoked, and the first 2 minutes were ok, but then it hit me like a tsunami. I was drowning. I couldn't take it, I wanted to run, just take off and go away alone, in a box. But I couldn't. What I kept realizing is that I'm on earth, and earth is small. That space is empty, and I'm on earth. Everyone else is superficial, we have to be in order to be happy. I imagined I was on a set of a cosmic play. I was an actor, and "reality" was behind the screen, and I could never see it. I felt like I was on an island, doomed to live and die without seeing what is real and what isn't. Things switched gears, I got tired of being scared. I got tired of wanting to run away.

I started looking at the water, the ripples, the cat tails. I started to look to the blue sky and how beautiful it was, and how isolated this place was - the quiet, the peace. I played with the rocks and sand on the beach. When I caught a fish I felt horrible about it. I didn't want to kill it or eat it so I grabbed it, and blew some smoke in its face and gills. I set it down and it wiggled itself into the rocks underneath the ripples. I watched it for some minutes without it moving. I started to enjoy everything. I liked it. I came back some 30 minutes later while contemplating my fear and my searching for happiness to find the fish, still tucked away under the rock. I laughed histarically, it was hilarious! The fish - still there, tucked away, high as a kite in some rocks.

The entire time I was plagued with stomach tension, with anxiety, but I was able to enjoy it. It was a turning point - I didn't run anymore.

That was a summer and a half ago... I think. It may even have been this summer?! I can't remember.
 
i get ya schwanke, when i used to believe in a literal god (or a group of gods to be more precise) my views on the religion were very different to the general beliefs on them

though i consider myself very spiritual i used to be a hard line atheist, i view 'god' as just a word for the universe in its entirity with all the forces and matter and all the patterns and other stuff within it all

IJC
i hope i can get to that point
i was quite drunk at my uncles place a week or 2 ago, it was a pretty large party and a few of us younger folk went into the garage to smoke a lil weed
i did my usual and drank too much and then smoked too much and pushed just that little bit over my limit and ended up spewing
BUT i never once felt any anxiety or anything
im not sure if i should attribute this to the alcohol or the environment...i just dont know atm
 
It was both - if you are very drunk and you smoke weed that will really fuck your head up. Alcohol limits alot of your neurotransmitters, and when your most abundant one is THC - bleh. You may as well have just injested poison (oh wait you did!)

It could also be that the THC makes you realized how sick you actually are when you are so drunk. Maybe a slap in the face :)

I personally have good luck when drinking and smoking - I feel like I can fly!!!!!!!

PS smoked last night, got crazy anxiety - apocalyptic death while watching Dr.Parnassus. Crazy "insane!" thoughts, the negative kept rolling in ... am I going to be crazy forever? I was pretty accustomed to it, so I just kinda rolled along with it. It wasn't fun, I'll admit say, but it was tolerable lol. After about the first 45 minutes though as the THC levels lowered I took complete control and was a very fantastic high the rest of the day. It is very true you can smoke too much weed! :) I have rarely smoked sober in the past year - this has maybe been the fourth time SOBER in the past year, heh. I'm completely comfortable with where I'm at though with my ability to handle myself on weed. I'd gladly take a hit on any day now, where as I used to feel like I had to set an entire day aside for anxiety out the ass - nope not anymore.

PS I always seem to forget to mention this. IT would be a thrill for you to do it, OP (forgot your name for the moment):

Smoke a small amount of DMT. It will make you extremely anxious for the duration of the trip, probably. It may be horrible, in fact. BUT what I have noticed EVERY TIME I SMOKE DMT is that after the trip ceases - I don't have anxiety for months. At all. I still can feel down, and gloomy and what not, but never that prick in the stomach anxiety. Very curious indeed. Spice said something once, that may be a good precursor to real science: "Well, you just emptied out your pineal gland" he could be right!
 
OP? omnipresent? haha

Yea i enjoy having a few drinks then a few tokes but usually i end up getting drunk for the sake of being drunk and then someone offers me some weed and, being drunk with lowered inhibitions, i never say no
and i cant take the mixture at high levels, i still do it even though i know what it'll do, it just seems to slip my mind until i find myself chucking up around a corner haha

I wish i could try that DMT technique, i have zero contacts to get any though, i once got some but it turned out to be dud or fake or something, did nothing for me

Im going to a mates b-day this weekend with my old smoking buddys....im going to TRY not to smoke, but i think peer pressure (and the alcohol) will make me give in
so im gona plan out my drinks, drink water in between and everything

Dr parnassus is an awesome movie haha

i'm sure i'll let you guys know the aftermath of the weekend if i end up smoking, hoping for the best haha
 
whoa
 
that would be awesome
i live in australia though..
 
who you talking to
 
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