ssdematt
Neurotransmetteur
- Inscrit
- 17 Déc 2009
- Messages
- 22
PREPARATIONS: Used 30x. Dosed very small pinches of sally, just a touch.
SET & SETTING: I was at my friend Jeremy's apartment. We sat on the floor in his bedroom, facing each other. We were discussing spirituality and our ideas.
EXPERIENCE: Jeremy went first. A couple of minutes after he dosed, I dosed. Probably within 45 seconds, the whole scene had changed. A multi-dimensional portal of a higher plane of existence came out to our right. I could see clearly into it, there was a strange orange-brown sky, and odd-triangle-peaked buildings with crystals mounted on them. This reality seemed very familiar to me for some reason. I looked up at Jeremy. The moment I looked in his eyes, I was propelled into him, and he into me. I could read his mind like a book. He was reading my mind as well. He started saying, "Matt, don't you remember? We're spiritual teachers in the world we come from. Don't you remember who you really are?" I started worrying a bit, worried that I might have gone too far, and I started feeling everything around me to make sure I was still there. Jeremy never wavered, not for a second. He said, "Matt, Matt - remember - we're spiritual teachers in this reality. We teach our youth spiritual mastery." Something told me to stare into this extra-dimensional doorway. I looked into it, and I saw something like a movie, a vision, a memory with feelings implanted in it: Jeremy and I were in one of those triangle-peaked buildings with purple crystals mounted all over the place. We were in a room, talking about our plans. But we were in what we would call here "extraterrestrial" bodies - sort of like a human being, but with several differences. I heard myself say to Jeremy in the flashback playback, "We should take up a human body form on Earth. The situation there has degraded, and we need to help bring people out of oppression." Jeremy nodded his head in agreement. The scene totally changed: I saw Jeremy & I decide to be born in the United States, and us splitting off an aspect of our spiritual consciousness, our souls, and that bit of consciousness going into the physical bodies we are inhabiting now and animating them, lifting them up. Returning to the present moment, I started panicking again. I started patting the carpet, my legs, the bed. Once again Jeremy, speaking as the extraterrestrial spiritual teacher he really is in our homeworld said, "Don't forget who we really are again Matt. We're here in service to others, we are here to do a job in this world." I looked up at him in his eyes, and I could clearly see his true Essence, who he really was. I asked him if he saw me as I really was. He said, "This whole time I have seen you, Matt, as your true spiritual being."
The whole room was changing. There was a parallel reality emerging. I could plainly see two different bedrooms, two completely different worlds, and another Jeremy and Matt in that parallel reality. If you can imagine the letter "D", with other letter "D"'s written slightly over the bottom part of the letter, written over and over down the page, that is what the emerging new reality appeared to be. Simply out of nowhere I felt more focused. While looking in Jeremy's eyes, I told him telepathically that we were about to consciously switch into a parallel reality that had small differences. I do not know how I knew that. A voice from my inner knowing said, "That show on TV 'Sliders' was not science fiction, Matt. It was science fact. There are a million billion trillion different realities, and they can be traveled to." We both could see the two different realities start to merge back into one. Once there was only one reality left, the vibration felt completely different. I knew for a fact that we had shifted realities. I had begun to refocus on the present moment, back in normal spacetime. I had come down a bit from the salvia effects. But this experience was far from over. Every time I looked into Jeremy's eyes, the portal to my right appeared again and I could see light coming from his head, and energy swirling around him, and could also look into his soul with just one moment of connection to his eyes. From the feeling I had, I knew that he was seeing the same with me.
Now I wasn't sure where I even was anymore. I leaped up from my sitting position and walked backwards. As I stepped backward, energy like spiderwebs and dimensions poured out of me, and I could see them right in front of me, going forward. I took my hands and put them together, then spread my arms out wide quickly. Portals, dimensions, light, and energy went WHOOSH!! as I spread my hands and arms wide. Light was flying out of the palms of my hands, and energy vortexes were coming out of my fingertips. They swirled around and assembled into different levels of vibration right in front of me. I closed the palms of my hands into each other. The vortexes and dimensions also closed when I closed my hands. I tried it again: My hands flew apart and so did the energy and dimensional reality in front of me. I was stunned, but absolutely thrilled at the same time. Jeremy, who I intuitively knew was seeing everything I was seeing, just smiled and looked at me and said, "Now you remember who you really are, finally. We're here to change the world."
It took a second for me to process that. I realized that, yes, Jeremy and I are spiritual brothers and spiritual teachers and have been for millenia, eons, over many, many lives. I realized that yes, it was true that we were not of this world, or even of this dimension. It was true that our eternal Selves were actually extraterrestrial. I asked in my mind at that moment where we were really from. A voice clearly said, "In a other-dimensional reality, which is in 4th density, and 100 million light years from the Earth in that dimension."
I sat down again, and looked at Jeremy. Once again, telepathy started the moment I looked in his eyes, involuntarily. There was no need to speak words, but we found ourselves speaking them anyway out of both shock & joy. I was trying to process what had just happened to us. I could tell Jeremy was now doing the same, he had resumed speaking as Jeremy here and now, not as Jeremy the spiritual teacher from the homeworld.
I looked at him and said, "What do we do? What can we do? Now that this has happened to us, how can we deny who we are and what we can do? We can't put it off anymore. Who should we help?" Jeremy said that we should start in our own country. The moment he said that, a plane of collective consciousness seemed to fly down from the ceiling corner to the back of the room, like a beam of light. It was the consciousness and feelings and pain of the black youth here in this country. I screamed for some reason and threw up my left hand palm out to that window of consciousness and energy like a stop sign, trying to hold it back and said to my friend, "Wait a minute. Should we really do this? Is this even right??" He just smiled and shrugged. I could feel the energy struggling to be accepted, to let through, it wanted us to feel the pain of the black youth for some reason, and badly at that.
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and put my hand down. The moment I did, images, feelings, thoughts, energies, "movie" type windows with feelings and emotion imprinted all over them came flying down and literally attacked me. A window of energy that outputted feelings and emotions and thoughts flew into my mind somehow, and I could clearly see a middle-aged black woman in a bedroom, with a couple of detectives standing there. The was a small boy in the hallway. The detective said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but your son was shot to death earlier tonight." The woman started screaming, "AAAAAAGH!!! WHY!! WHY!!!" Waves of raw grief and agony attacked me, I could feel everything she was feeling. The image changed to the little boy in the hallway. I could see his hands shaking and his confusion. I looked at the detective who told her her son was dead, and I could read his mind like a book. He was thinking something like, "I hate this fucking job, I hate everything, I can't do this anymore. I've got to get the hell out of here." Then he said aloud, "Ma'am, MA'AM, MA'AM!! PLEASE!! We need to talk to you." Of course the woman kept screaming and I saw her fall on the floor, her face contorted in agony.
That scene stopped, and suddenly images with feelings were being slammed in front of me, one after another, just like if someone took 11x14 photos with tape on the back and slammed one after another on a wall, but amazingly fast. I felt waves of emotions, all pain, agony and grief and sense of loss, each one slightly different as each image "slammed" down in front of me. One after another SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM!! An "image" of a black teenager flew up to me. He was sitting at a computer desk crying, and the tears were pouring down his face. As soon as I thought about the tears, the "image" zoomed in on his face, and I saw puddles of his tears on the desk as he cried. The image was imprinted with the rawest, saddest, most distressed emotions I had ever felt in my life. I somehow knew he was in such agony because his best friend was murdered. As soon as I realized that, the whole thing just flew backwards away from me WHOOSH!! and another scene flew up close-up. It was a scene of nighttime on a street, with dimly lit streetlights. Tears were falling from the sky like rain, and splashing into puddles on the street. An disembodied "voice" said, "These are the tears of the streets, Matt. These are the tears of the streets, the tears of the streets".
I had to pull myself back from this experience because I felt like I was going insane. Psychically I jerked back from the experience of the pain of the black youth. I had to regroup, and suddenly I thought where was Jeremy? I realized that I had completely forgotten about him. He was still there obviously, and we both sat for about the next five minutes in absolute silence, smoking cigarettes, both of us just trying to process what had just happened to us. We finished our cigs, and lit up new ones, chain-smoking, still just sitting there silently looking at each other, looking at the room, trying to make sure we had not gone loony-tune.
When we finally started to speak again, we started to compare our memories of what had just transpired. He clearly remembered speaking as Jeremy the spiritual teacher, and telling me to "remember who I really am". I asked him if he remembered seeing the waves and webs of energy coming out of my hands and body. He did. We checked on the telepathic part - yes I had heard his thoughts, and he had heard what I had thought. Had he felt the lady screaming, the teenager in grief, the detective telling her her son had been murdered? - once again, yes. Our experiences matched. We had literally both been drawn into a mystical experience together.
POSTSCRIPT: I have still been trying to process this experience for the past three days. A lot of what happened to us makes sense to me. I clearly remember thinking when I was five years old that I was not part of this world, that I must be from elsewhere. I always was a loner, and always felt completely alone in this world. I literally felt like an alien. I could not understand the actions of people in this world, even at five years old. I remember riding in my parent's car as a small child thinking how dirty, ugly, nasty this world is. Another thing: I have had a keen interest in helping youth since I was in elementary school. I never could figure out exactly why. I remember watching "Mr Rogers" and "Sesame Street" at seven years old and looking at the programming mentally not as a kid learning from them, but as a critic and as a "designer" of education for youth, I remember thinking even then, "This stuff is not helping children at all. There are better ways." I remember thinking about other kids as people I needed to help, needed to assist, thinking of them from an adult perspective, like I was already grown, and not simply as fellow kids and friends of mine.
Honestly, this experience has totally changed my life. We did not even smoke a lot of sally - like I said, it was just a TINY bit - I have smoked much more than Monday night, and got nowhere as far as this. Maybe the difference was having both of us there. Looking into each others' eyes during the mystical experience seemed to enhance things even more. Honestly I think the salvinorin-A was simply the tool used to open some kind of consciousness doorway, and once it was wide open, things took off by themselves, even when the sally effect wore off; just like with LSD, when initial testing of lysergic acid diethylamide showed that is seemed to be processed quickly with first-pass metabolism with an hour, and turned into non-psychoactive analogs; there was no trace of LSD found in the brain, but yet psychoactive effects continued for hours and hours nonetheless, and sometimes even longer...Also, I finally truly noticed that their IS a conscious spirit that lives within the Salvinorin-A chemical and the Salvia plant itself....it's like, acid always seemed to have a hard-edged chemical feel - the thought "better living through chemistry" always pops in my head the moment I think of LSD; mushooms seemed to have a strong male spirit controlling the experience of them, but after all the times I used them, I never had any experience like the three I have had the past several weeks with Salvia....I never touched sally until very recently....maybe I was not ready 10, 15, 20 years ago for what it would do to me....maybe I was not experienced enough in this world yet....Jeremy tried sally for the first time two years before me....and he always says his life was never the same again even after the very first trip on it....it actually turned him into a spirit medium...when he came back from that first experience, he could see the Other Side clear as day, 24/7, and it has never gone away...in fact it has gotten even stronger in him....and now it seems to be coming to me as well....on the Christmas night salvia ride I took, my consciousness opened up a lot to the Spirit World...and strangely it has been getting stronger in me as well...I have been able to "see" and empathically feel the information they seem to be sending....I don't know though....I haven't really been able to decide what my next step will be...not yet...but I guess the Universe has things already worked out, so all I need to do is get in line, and just go with the flow....I have to give thanks to the lady spirit within salvia for the gifts I have been receiving from her....I am eternally grateful....
In peace, in love,
Matt
SET & SETTING: I was at my friend Jeremy's apartment. We sat on the floor in his bedroom, facing each other. We were discussing spirituality and our ideas.
EXPERIENCE: Jeremy went first. A couple of minutes after he dosed, I dosed. Probably within 45 seconds, the whole scene had changed. A multi-dimensional portal of a higher plane of existence came out to our right. I could see clearly into it, there was a strange orange-brown sky, and odd-triangle-peaked buildings with crystals mounted on them. This reality seemed very familiar to me for some reason. I looked up at Jeremy. The moment I looked in his eyes, I was propelled into him, and he into me. I could read his mind like a book. He was reading my mind as well. He started saying, "Matt, don't you remember? We're spiritual teachers in the world we come from. Don't you remember who you really are?" I started worrying a bit, worried that I might have gone too far, and I started feeling everything around me to make sure I was still there. Jeremy never wavered, not for a second. He said, "Matt, Matt - remember - we're spiritual teachers in this reality. We teach our youth spiritual mastery." Something told me to stare into this extra-dimensional doorway. I looked into it, and I saw something like a movie, a vision, a memory with feelings implanted in it: Jeremy and I were in one of those triangle-peaked buildings with purple crystals mounted all over the place. We were in a room, talking about our plans. But we were in what we would call here "extraterrestrial" bodies - sort of like a human being, but with several differences. I heard myself say to Jeremy in the flashback playback, "We should take up a human body form on Earth. The situation there has degraded, and we need to help bring people out of oppression." Jeremy nodded his head in agreement. The scene totally changed: I saw Jeremy & I decide to be born in the United States, and us splitting off an aspect of our spiritual consciousness, our souls, and that bit of consciousness going into the physical bodies we are inhabiting now and animating them, lifting them up. Returning to the present moment, I started panicking again. I started patting the carpet, my legs, the bed. Once again Jeremy, speaking as the extraterrestrial spiritual teacher he really is in our homeworld said, "Don't forget who we really are again Matt. We're here in service to others, we are here to do a job in this world." I looked up at him in his eyes, and I could clearly see his true Essence, who he really was. I asked him if he saw me as I really was. He said, "This whole time I have seen you, Matt, as your true spiritual being."
The whole room was changing. There was a parallel reality emerging. I could plainly see two different bedrooms, two completely different worlds, and another Jeremy and Matt in that parallel reality. If you can imagine the letter "D", with other letter "D"'s written slightly over the bottom part of the letter, written over and over down the page, that is what the emerging new reality appeared to be. Simply out of nowhere I felt more focused. While looking in Jeremy's eyes, I told him telepathically that we were about to consciously switch into a parallel reality that had small differences. I do not know how I knew that. A voice from my inner knowing said, "That show on TV 'Sliders' was not science fiction, Matt. It was science fact. There are a million billion trillion different realities, and they can be traveled to." We both could see the two different realities start to merge back into one. Once there was only one reality left, the vibration felt completely different. I knew for a fact that we had shifted realities. I had begun to refocus on the present moment, back in normal spacetime. I had come down a bit from the salvia effects. But this experience was far from over. Every time I looked into Jeremy's eyes, the portal to my right appeared again and I could see light coming from his head, and energy swirling around him, and could also look into his soul with just one moment of connection to his eyes. From the feeling I had, I knew that he was seeing the same with me.
Now I wasn't sure where I even was anymore. I leaped up from my sitting position and walked backwards. As I stepped backward, energy like spiderwebs and dimensions poured out of me, and I could see them right in front of me, going forward. I took my hands and put them together, then spread my arms out wide quickly. Portals, dimensions, light, and energy went WHOOSH!! as I spread my hands and arms wide. Light was flying out of the palms of my hands, and energy vortexes were coming out of my fingertips. They swirled around and assembled into different levels of vibration right in front of me. I closed the palms of my hands into each other. The vortexes and dimensions also closed when I closed my hands. I tried it again: My hands flew apart and so did the energy and dimensional reality in front of me. I was stunned, but absolutely thrilled at the same time. Jeremy, who I intuitively knew was seeing everything I was seeing, just smiled and looked at me and said, "Now you remember who you really are, finally. We're here to change the world."
It took a second for me to process that. I realized that, yes, Jeremy and I are spiritual brothers and spiritual teachers and have been for millenia, eons, over many, many lives. I realized that yes, it was true that we were not of this world, or even of this dimension. It was true that our eternal Selves were actually extraterrestrial. I asked in my mind at that moment where we were really from. A voice clearly said, "In a other-dimensional reality, which is in 4th density, and 100 million light years from the Earth in that dimension."
I sat down again, and looked at Jeremy. Once again, telepathy started the moment I looked in his eyes, involuntarily. There was no need to speak words, but we found ourselves speaking them anyway out of both shock & joy. I was trying to process what had just happened to us. I could tell Jeremy was now doing the same, he had resumed speaking as Jeremy here and now, not as Jeremy the spiritual teacher from the homeworld.
I looked at him and said, "What do we do? What can we do? Now that this has happened to us, how can we deny who we are and what we can do? We can't put it off anymore. Who should we help?" Jeremy said that we should start in our own country. The moment he said that, a plane of collective consciousness seemed to fly down from the ceiling corner to the back of the room, like a beam of light. It was the consciousness and feelings and pain of the black youth here in this country. I screamed for some reason and threw up my left hand palm out to that window of consciousness and energy like a stop sign, trying to hold it back and said to my friend, "Wait a minute. Should we really do this? Is this even right??" He just smiled and shrugged. I could feel the energy struggling to be accepted, to let through, it wanted us to feel the pain of the black youth for some reason, and badly at that.
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and put my hand down. The moment I did, images, feelings, thoughts, energies, "movie" type windows with feelings and emotion imprinted all over them came flying down and literally attacked me. A window of energy that outputted feelings and emotions and thoughts flew into my mind somehow, and I could clearly see a middle-aged black woman in a bedroom, with a couple of detectives standing there. The was a small boy in the hallway. The detective said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but your son was shot to death earlier tonight." The woman started screaming, "AAAAAAGH!!! WHY!! WHY!!!" Waves of raw grief and agony attacked me, I could feel everything she was feeling. The image changed to the little boy in the hallway. I could see his hands shaking and his confusion. I looked at the detective who told her her son was dead, and I could read his mind like a book. He was thinking something like, "I hate this fucking job, I hate everything, I can't do this anymore. I've got to get the hell out of here." Then he said aloud, "Ma'am, MA'AM, MA'AM!! PLEASE!! We need to talk to you." Of course the woman kept screaming and I saw her fall on the floor, her face contorted in agony.
That scene stopped, and suddenly images with feelings were being slammed in front of me, one after another, just like if someone took 11x14 photos with tape on the back and slammed one after another on a wall, but amazingly fast. I felt waves of emotions, all pain, agony and grief and sense of loss, each one slightly different as each image "slammed" down in front of me. One after another SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM!! An "image" of a black teenager flew up to me. He was sitting at a computer desk crying, and the tears were pouring down his face. As soon as I thought about the tears, the "image" zoomed in on his face, and I saw puddles of his tears on the desk as he cried. The image was imprinted with the rawest, saddest, most distressed emotions I had ever felt in my life. I somehow knew he was in such agony because his best friend was murdered. As soon as I realized that, the whole thing just flew backwards away from me WHOOSH!! and another scene flew up close-up. It was a scene of nighttime on a street, with dimly lit streetlights. Tears were falling from the sky like rain, and splashing into puddles on the street. An disembodied "voice" said, "These are the tears of the streets, Matt. These are the tears of the streets, the tears of the streets".
I had to pull myself back from this experience because I felt like I was going insane. Psychically I jerked back from the experience of the pain of the black youth. I had to regroup, and suddenly I thought where was Jeremy? I realized that I had completely forgotten about him. He was still there obviously, and we both sat for about the next five minutes in absolute silence, smoking cigarettes, both of us just trying to process what had just happened to us. We finished our cigs, and lit up new ones, chain-smoking, still just sitting there silently looking at each other, looking at the room, trying to make sure we had not gone loony-tune.
When we finally started to speak again, we started to compare our memories of what had just transpired. He clearly remembered speaking as Jeremy the spiritual teacher, and telling me to "remember who I really am". I asked him if he remembered seeing the waves and webs of energy coming out of my hands and body. He did. We checked on the telepathic part - yes I had heard his thoughts, and he had heard what I had thought. Had he felt the lady screaming, the teenager in grief, the detective telling her her son had been murdered? - once again, yes. Our experiences matched. We had literally both been drawn into a mystical experience together.
POSTSCRIPT: I have still been trying to process this experience for the past three days. A lot of what happened to us makes sense to me. I clearly remember thinking when I was five years old that I was not part of this world, that I must be from elsewhere. I always was a loner, and always felt completely alone in this world. I literally felt like an alien. I could not understand the actions of people in this world, even at five years old. I remember riding in my parent's car as a small child thinking how dirty, ugly, nasty this world is. Another thing: I have had a keen interest in helping youth since I was in elementary school. I never could figure out exactly why. I remember watching "Mr Rogers" and "Sesame Street" at seven years old and looking at the programming mentally not as a kid learning from them, but as a critic and as a "designer" of education for youth, I remember thinking even then, "This stuff is not helping children at all. There are better ways." I remember thinking about other kids as people I needed to help, needed to assist, thinking of them from an adult perspective, like I was already grown, and not simply as fellow kids and friends of mine.
Honestly, this experience has totally changed my life. We did not even smoke a lot of sally - like I said, it was just a TINY bit - I have smoked much more than Monday night, and got nowhere as far as this. Maybe the difference was having both of us there. Looking into each others' eyes during the mystical experience seemed to enhance things even more. Honestly I think the salvinorin-A was simply the tool used to open some kind of consciousness doorway, and once it was wide open, things took off by themselves, even when the sally effect wore off; just like with LSD, when initial testing of lysergic acid diethylamide showed that is seemed to be processed quickly with first-pass metabolism with an hour, and turned into non-psychoactive analogs; there was no trace of LSD found in the brain, but yet psychoactive effects continued for hours and hours nonetheless, and sometimes even longer...Also, I finally truly noticed that their IS a conscious spirit that lives within the Salvinorin-A chemical and the Salvia plant itself....it's like, acid always seemed to have a hard-edged chemical feel - the thought "better living through chemistry" always pops in my head the moment I think of LSD; mushooms seemed to have a strong male spirit controlling the experience of them, but after all the times I used them, I never had any experience like the three I have had the past several weeks with Salvia....I never touched sally until very recently....maybe I was not ready 10, 15, 20 years ago for what it would do to me....maybe I was not experienced enough in this world yet....Jeremy tried sally for the first time two years before me....and he always says his life was never the same again even after the very first trip on it....it actually turned him into a spirit medium...when he came back from that first experience, he could see the Other Side clear as day, 24/7, and it has never gone away...in fact it has gotten even stronger in him....and now it seems to be coming to me as well....on the Christmas night salvia ride I took, my consciousness opened up a lot to the Spirit World...and strangely it has been getting stronger in me as well...I have been able to "see" and empathically feel the information they seem to be sending....I don't know though....I haven't really been able to decide what my next step will be...not yet...but I guess the Universe has things already worked out, so all I need to do is get in line, and just go with the flow....I have to give thanks to the lady spirit within salvia for the gifts I have been receiving from her....I am eternally grateful....
In peace, in love,
Matt
