Salvia - Two Medium Bowls

[Schwanke668]

Being that I dont believe in breaking the law, Salvia at the moment is the only 'enlightening' chemical that I can do being that its still legal here in NJ.

I havnt done it in about 2 or 3 years because I always felt as if I was more stoned then high and had very little awakening aspects out of it. I didnt seem to reach any revelatory level or have any type of vision or anything I just felt slightly trippy and a little stupid/clumsy.

So anyway, I figured since it just snowed 15t inches here in NJ and I cant shovel my way out I have nothing to do for the next 36 hours. Oh and I find that the after effects of everything I do is elongated so I couldnt drive tomorrow because of coming down off the salvia even though I smoked it 24 hours earlier. (Alcohol is the same way, I have a clumsiness hangover for 24 hours after a couple of beers.)

So anyway, I smoked it and I havn't really felt any major mind altering experience but have been getting a little out of it. For one thing I see that I am still slightly addicted to the chemical non-enlightening effects, the sensations and the visuals that dont add anything at the psyche level but are enjoyable none the less. I guess there is nothing wrong with the enjoyment of these things but I can feel how I could find myself doing this purely for those reasons and loosing touch with the more spiritual motivations that I prefer.

Focusing on 'it' (there is always an 'it' when I trip, kind of like the 'it you get out of it' with the second it being the trip) I can feel a nothingness inside of me. A wave of nothingness that is passing over me yet soothing me. It feels like a freedom, an escape, like I am moving towards something but not being pushed or pulled simply following. I feel lead but not by a person or an entity but by my own reasoning. Its as if I am following myself inside my own mind leading me around to all the places I havnt been before or hadnt been to in a very long time.

I feel a carnality for sure, that part about the pleasurable experience. I am someone who is steeped in carnality unfortunately and have struggled with carnality all my life. In the idea of this new paradigm of possibly seeing myself as someone with shamanic tendancies I could see this carnality as an affliction that I am trying to cure with my escape. On the one hand I pleasure myself in the experience of the carnality but on the other I hate it as I feel that it drags me down and keeps me from truly 'skyrocketing' to the heights that I know I am destined for.

Still I see that I am always in that spin of flowing forward, leaving the past and entering the future at the rate that is perfect in both space and time.

I also seem to feel a jaggedness in my spirit, like a jarring sensation where I feel these jolts where I take hard lefts and hard rights in my walk almost like zigzaging. On the one hand I feel etherial and free yet on the other I feel that carnality and the ruggedness of modern society. Like in the kitchen I felt 'one with the wind' coming in the window and was able to even prepare the second bowl between gusts not loosing any leaf to the wind. I 'knew' when the wind would stop and start and flowed between it. Yet then I have these senations where my mind wants to go "what the fuck?" and all of a sudden I am thinking about jagged things yet as I try to describe them they fade away.

I guess I am grateful for the prompting to try the salvia again and only wish that I could do it more often but unfortunately under my current living conditions and rather dogmatic parents the social turmoil of attempting to reach a spiritual state through a chemical compound could make my life unbearable. Someday this will change I know and I will be more free to experiment but for the moment it is what it is. They provide for me a large portion of the extension of my disability that I cannot yet earn on my own and so I cant complain about their limitations when they take care of me so well out of their own pocket.

Phase 2.

When I travel in the spirit I believe in bringing something back that is beneficial to someone somewhere preferably someone specific in the now but sometimes just pieces of the future that will make sense when the time is right.

My first 'nugget' if you will was years ago and of the phrase "Cosmicly Triangulated Universal Peanuts". The second was "Higher States of Consciousness, Baked Fresh Daily" and I am searching for a third at the moment. I may not find it this trip or I may find a piece of it but not have a word form for it but.. heh. I just found it. A peice of it anyway. Its got a blue triangle on one end and a circle and a square extending out of it. I see a manifestation of physics, geometry and culture. I dichotomous orthoganal matrix of delight. I think that is it I think I am going to formulate this one into:

"Become a Dichotomous Orthogonal Matrix of Delight!"

I like that. Its not complete but I think its all I can get for now. The spiritual presence guarding it doesnt seem to be too happy that I can access it without actually going through it. I cant seem to access the piece that is being held in its hand but I can access the rest of it. Its the become. The first word is 'off' I know that "a Dichotomous Orthogonal Matrix of Delight" is correct but the Become is wrong. I wanted to say 'We are" but that doesnt seem right either. I think its one of those complexities that doesnt exist in english. Its like the everflowing change from was to will be of becoming and is. Moving forward from being not into being.

I think closer is "Exist Consciously as a Dichotomous Orthogonal Matrix of Delight!" That feels better but then it expands a little bit in the middle and asks for something else though I dont know what.

Blither blather. Think I'm done here. Hehe.

This is kinda cool and enjoyable but its not majorly any different then my normal operations in the spirit. I guess I can somewhat feel the flow being different so its 'an experience' but I dont see at the moment any massive benefit to doing this on a regular basis knowing that it puts me out of comission for driving for 24 hours. That having been said I also cant get the massive high doses that lead to insane visions and what not with what I have on hand, pretty much cant afford the serious stuff, and wouldnt want to do it alone anyway. Maybe someday I'll go hard core on the salvia but for now I treat it as a nice relaxing vacation from normalcy.

--Schwanke

 

[Schwanke668]

Well some nice 14 hours later and I am still 'tripping'. For a while there everything felt 'beautiful' it was like I completely and totaly understood beauty and could see it in everything. It was compiled with a strong sense of one-ness. Like everything was the way it was supposed to be and that things were right on track at a galactic level.

Very enjoyable.

I also had one of my high tech intense combat simulations/trips. They are hard to describe sometimes unless I am inside the trip and explaining it but think of like the operations system of a tactcical high tech sci-fi squadron calling out commands and responses for 20 minutes. Really intense and really awesome. Can feel the technology flowing through me. I'm a techhead by trade and as such technology always turns me on. Dont really like nature except for the provision of natural chemicals it produces that enhances our awareness of reality, but then I also see the chemical compounds produced by science as 'natural' as well so...

I definitely do still feel trippy cuz I was just able to look into the relationship of the existence of something such as salvia and its expression of reality that it brings to attention in the mind of the consumer. Its like saying that the trip is contained within the plant and when you consume the plant you release the trip contained within the plant into your mind.

Love it though sad I have to camp out and hide for 24 hours since I am still somewhat 'kooky' from it. Probably could drive like this as this is rather similar to some of my typical 'trippy' states from day to day but one thing I learned once when I found out about the 24hour effect of things is you dont always realize your limitations until you end up pushing them and do something stupid cuz you cant do it right, like say slow reflexes on the road. Rather not find out the wrong way if I can help it.

Peace.

 

[Schwanke668]

Page three.

Will the trip never end? Will it ever end? Never ever? On into infinity.

No it will probably end but its going for 24 hours now lol. Sometimes I'm like one with the cosmos others I'm like damn where did I put that spoon? Wait! there are no spoons! We're trapped inside the matrix! LOL!

I actually just had an hour evaporate. I looked at the clock and it was three oclock, I looked at it again and it was 4 oclock. I actually had to look twice. I cant remember what I did for that hour. I only know that at 3 oclock I was on the phone with my mom and at 4 oclock I was listening to music and playing with facebook on my phone. In between I could have done anything. I guess its possible that all I did was stop talking to my mom and start doing facebook but the compression of time is very bizarre. Like I can only barely remember snippets of what we talked about and only snippets of what I did on facebook so I cant imagine where an entire hour went. Feels like 20 minutes.

Slipp sliddin away... Whee... Lost in a sea of transcendental distortions. Mind waves of innocous self destruction. You know I just realized I havnt even used a spoon this trip? I used a spork. I have two special sporks I use only for macroni and cheeze and I only eat macroni and cheeze with those two sporks. But they dont count as spoons really. I mean yes they are a spoon fork hybrid but they dont save you that much on gas really. I guess maybe if you ate macroni and beans instead of macroni and cheeze. Bean cheeze! Thats well. Wierd.

Yah so, like wtf. LOL. Should be interesting with my parents getting home in an hour. Hehe. They arent exactly the mind altering psychedelic understanding type lol. Though my mom loves psychedelic trance music. I turned her onto it and she always has me burn the latest set of whatever I tape off the internet.

Well I guess. Hey. Maybe I can kill another hour sometime. Be nice to bypass boredom accidentally like this lol more often.

 

[Crimzen]

ok ive only read your first post so far and man are you on point
your ability to articulate the experience is friggin great!
i wish i could explain my own 'sights feelings and experiences' in the same kind of manner
ive managed to implant 2 things into my memory from 2 seperate trips on acid and nitrous
very 'obvious' and right there in front of me but so difficult to formulate the words
for one of them i saw myself in the centre of the spiral but that doesnt quite cut it

i'll definately get to the second 2 posts within the next couple of days depending on happenings of life

 

[Schwanke668]

Thanks. Btw, I learned how to do this by training myself to do it when I was sober. I just started jouranaling one day writing whatever was in my mind even if it was stuff like nosvdfonibvnjopmfnofds. Just the act of getting your fingers going on the computer after a while you get better at hooking them into the portions of the brain you want to communicate with.

I actually did this BEFORE I saw the movie finding forester but the lead writer in that movie says the same thing. You just write. You just get going.

So you start out with:

Well shit. I'm sitting at the computer. This is really boring. I want to write something but I dont know what to write. Yet I must keep writing. Writing Writing Writing. Hey. That reminds me of that fish from finding nemo. "Just keep swiming, swiming, swiming, lost in a sea of...

And it goes from there. Its about letting go so that your comfortable with what your thinking about yourself and someone else reading it. Good to have a place to keep everything so you can keep your deepest portions of your mind secure from prying eyes and then snippet out the stuff you wanna share with people.

And dont worry about good english or punctuation or anything, can always edit stuff later, its all about getting the concepts out.

I've had pieces where I was writing stuff like : "Cow, dog house, the house moved, but the dog was intransit subspace continuin misalligned what the fuck was that that that thing that I just saw behind the moon"

Dont be afraid to make up words, or use punctuation wierd or smileys or squiglies or anything. Its all about getting outside of yourself and looking back in.