"Behind that locked door"

[D0PP3LGANG3R]

Greetings Psychonaut,

I had a strange mushroom experience a few months ago, and haven't been able to make a whole lot of sense out of it, so I thought maybe this would be the best locale for insight into my trip. I suppose I should preface the story with another, that I acquired about a half ounce of what I thought to be cubes from my friend that said this was the bottom of his stash, so it was very powdery. The first time I had taken these shrooms was with my friends in my room, and it was a rough night. I ate a few grams (3 at most? I dunno it was awhile ago), and shit went cray. I felt as if I was melting, my fingers became stubs and I could press my hands into my body. I could not understand anything (I kept reminding my friends that "I don't understand ANYTHING"), the room became my temporary universe, and eventually an intricate mandala formed from the dots in my ceiling tile. The trip lasted for a long while and my friend who was sitting played Explosions in the Sky and eventually a fairly local band named Your Best Friend. One of the songs (if you give a shit, "Near Perfect Wrists") I was emotionally attached to, and when it came on, my friends all morphed into a being made of light and she told me (I felt a definite female presence) that I was always watching me and that I was destined for great things. She didn't so much say this as telepathically communicate this to me. Like most of my trips the specifics are very blurry, but I do remember having a sense of ego loss or dissolution, and when I came to I heard my friends voices, but did not believe it to be them for they go to college out of state and couldn't possibly be in my room. They left after awhile and when I awoke from my trip, my room was a mess and I thought I might have gotten drunk to the point of forgetting what had happened the previous night because I honestly could not remember how my room had gotten so disastrous or what I had done the night before. I walked away from this trip feeling confused but slightly enlightened to something beneath the surface of ordinary reality.

This leads to the second part of my story involving the same shrooms. One night I was alone in my house so I began to nibble on some caps unaware of the exact amount I had ingested. I put on a cd that I thought would relax me into the trip, All Things Must Pass by George Harrison. At first it was just what I needed to get into the meditative mindset and travel to a realm unimaginable to any previously experienced. Yet eventually the mushroom began speaking to me through the music. I particularly remember "Behind that locked door" and "Let it down" being eerily relevant to what I was experiencing. That somehow there was a world beyond the average one that the masses view, and I had the key to unlock the door to another dimension. I felt ecstatic for awhile, but lack of company began to take its toll and after awhile I became frightful of my normal surroundings. I'm not sure how long into the trip it was, but I started feeling a warm sensation from the bottom of my spine, what I would assume to be kundalini, arise and travel to the crown of my skull, opening my chakras and allowing energy to come into the cap of my head (I had an experience similar to this when I drank bong lassi, a hindu milk drink made of marijuana). This feeling lasted for awhile, but eventually I felt like I was accelerating inside my own body. My face began to feel strange and it seemed like I was entering a tunnel or vortex to somewhere unforeseen. This is where things began to trail off from reality and again, the specifics are very blurry. My whole being felt like it was traveling out of my body through my nose, and I entered a world or room of infinite dimensions with checkered floors and here I was able to create my own reality. I am not sure specifically when, but an entity of some sort was, what felt like, in control of my nervous system, a light being that sat behind me and could use me to his will (I felt a masculine force from this being). He told me many things that I cannot recall, but it scared the fuck out of me. He showed me images of my other "psychonautic" friends and said how much further they were than me, more adept to this inter-dimensional travel. He challenged me to enter this game world and compete in some psychedelic sport. I don't recall much of this encounter, but the recurring images of life and death dawned upon me. I felt like I had experienced infinity and life and death seemed like such a small aspect of the greater existence. I felt like I was used by this entity, I recall a quote by Terence Mckenna in his powerful and mind-bending essay, "Tryptamine Hallucinogens and Consciousness,"The mushroom states its own position very clearly. It says, 'I requirethe nervous system of a mammal. Do you have one handy?'" My vivid hallucinations ended when I felt my being being forced back into my head through my nose. For the next few hours I tossed and turned in my bed terrified of everything I looked at, everything was ugly, malicious, and inescapable. The whole day I felt jittery like never before and even around my friends and family I was unsure how to think and act. Thankfully that did not last long, and I soon returned to my "normal" self.

I've had one subsequent shroom experience from the same batch, but nothing of this intensity. I did however, not allow myself to dive into this world from fear of a possession or something worse. I wanted so terribly to speak with Dennis Mckenna, I was convinced he held some answer I desperately needed. It was a pleasant trip, besides the part where I had to physically anchor myself onto my friends for fear of falling into the realm of mushroom control. Dr. Dog was a much needed uplift, and a friend and I watched the sun rise and the clouds dance around in the sky, one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. The clouds moved in swirling waves and I couldn't help but thinking about how sexual or violent it all seemed.

If you have any ideas you could lay upon me I would be more than glad to hear it. I felt that I had to share these experiences somewhere, to people that might understand what I had gone through. Thanks for reading :]

 

[D0PP3LGANG3R]

I understand that this is a fairly long explanation of my trip, but I would really appreciate hearing something back from fellow psychonauts. None of my friends are versed enough in psilocybin to give much insight into my experience. If you don't feel like reading the whole thing, the second paragraph is really what I would like a response about, as I was most conscious during this trip and I had the strong feeling of reality yet I was completely in another dimension. Thanks and happy tripping :}

 

[KingLordMaster]

Sounds really intense.

I am not too sure what kind of advice to give you though. Maybe try seeing a reiki healer (but a real one), as they can re-balance energy within you (worked for me, and I used to think it was bulls**t medicine practice for idiots. It isn't).

Tell me more about your kundalini experience(s) and what I understood to be an out of body experience.

Also, feeling disoriented when you go deep into things is normal, enlightenment comes with a price. But, if you seek your truth, and know your truth, then even in your darkest trips, and most confronting supernatural experiencse, you will shine light and truth, and even the most powerful and evil entities are a joke next to the nature, the beauty and the architecture of the universe.

Final advice for now, there is a dark side to psychedelics, but it should only be explored by those who can handle whatever's thrown at them, and to do that, you must first discover your truth, otherwise you will lose yourself, which is something I've seen happen to people.

Peace, and hope my comments are helpful.
-Alex

 

[D0PP3LGANG3R]

The kundalini experiences have been strange. On Bong Lassi, it was a warm sensation that began in the base of my spine and worked its way up, creating a line of energy along my spine. My head felt light and like there was a hole at the top opening up to a beam of white light. As I meditated it became more clear, like the hole was being opened and dewebbed. My being became one with this pulsating force that went back and forth from my skull to my spine. It was an amazing feeling. I've had similar effects on the same substance or high amounts of weed, smoked or eaten, but never the same as the first time I drank it. I literally wasn't thinking about anything. It was like when you have been laying in bed and you're in that realm between wake and sleep. Truly an ecstatic experience.

My experience on mushrooms was similar to this, but I don't recall the feeling being as ecstatic, but more like it created a direct connection between the mushroom and me. As I stated above, I felt that the mushroom was controlling my nervous system, playing around in my head, body, and consciousness like we manipulate a marionette or something. Another thing I recall is that when I dove into the world of the mushroom, language and symbols disappeared and direct transmission of meaning was occurring between the mushroom and I. As I came out of my heavy hallucination, I recall strange egyptian-like symbols forming in front of me, and then eventually they became recognizable letters, and I was back in the world, compared to the telekinetic mind messaging, what we perceive as grunts and symbols. In the world of the mushroom I swore that I experienced some sense of infinity, at least the most closely to that of infinity as I can imagine. I witnessed and participated in endless cycles of birth and death until the point where I was no longer afraid to die, because I knew for a fact that I would be reborn no matter what. This being showed me all of this and told me I could go further with my psychedelic experiences, and he taunted me saying that my friends were so far ahead of me (It turns out they really aren't). I felt possessed by this entity and like it was controlling my mind's eye completely. The most relatable thing I can compare it to is in the Animorph's books when the slug aliens control the people's brains by crawling in their ears and taking command of their body, and the host has no free will, but merely witnesses his existence as though watching television. A strange metaphor I know, but it felt so real at the time. It even explicitly stated that "no one will believe what you see now," making me feel like a damned alien abductee, having no hard evidence to back up my fantastic story.

I am very aware that psychedelics have a dark side. It always shows up in my trips. Naturally I am prone to mind-fucking myself, but it seems to be much worse when I ingest any hallucinogen. I see and hear the most ridiculous shit sometimes. I only wish that I had a better way to control it. I feel that love is the only thought and feeling that can guarantee a trip enjoyable from start to finish. If one begins to stray from this ubiquitous axiom, then the dark side of the psyche immediately starts sending its minions of doubt, fear, terror, and paranoia to haunt the individual. I'll definitely have to check out a reiki healer, my body is out of whack anyways, it would be beneficial to my existence if my energy levels were checked out by a trained healer.

I appreciate your help, Alex, your insight is interesting and makes me feel less alone on the twisted psychedelic path. Good luck with your inner travels.

Peace brutha,
Greg

 

[KingLordMaster]

No problem Greg! I really enjoyed reading your posts, sharing psychedelic experiences and discussing them is something I really appreciate

Personally, I know when my trip is going to be fun and full of love and wonder, or when its going to be dark and twisted. Its all about when, where and how your going to do it, and what your mindstate is at the given time, which is something we already both know. But by being honest with myself and planning my trip without making any compromises, I always know more or less what kind of direction my psychedelic experience will take, wether its LSD or mushie mush mushes.

If you don't mind, could you please give me some more information about how to induce a kundalini experience, as I have recently been looking it up, and wish to experience it myself. I've heard that acupuncture and energy healing helps a lot before doing the kundalini, as you can avoid problems that can arise after such a powerful transformation. When I come back from my vacation, I'm planning to finally spoil myself a little for once, will be going for a full body massage, the acupuncture and 1 more 2 hour energy healing session with this wonderful reiki goddess in london.

I would really appreciate if you could give me some advice on this I've got a guideline on what to do for the kundalini (focusing sense at the bottom of the spine, trying to build energy with muscular contractions and really focusing on heartbeat and on mental visualizations of what you're trying to achieve), but I'd rather much take direct advice from someone who's experienced it first hand.

Hope you can give me a hand! Take care,
-Alex

 

[D0PP3LGANG3R]

Yo Alex,

Unfortunately I have only experienced kundalini when I was tripping on boomies or extremely high on mary jawana. I have, however, experienced what I would consider to be the beginnings of kundalini whilst meditating. My advice would be to practice meditation fairly regularly. If you are unfamiliar, you should sit comfortably either in sitting position, on your haunches(japanese style), or even lying down, and keep a steady count of your breath (maybe start at 5-in, out, in,etc, and move on to longer intervals). If your mind wanders, don't get upset or caught up, just bring it back to the counting. To induce the kundalini, I repeated a mantra of Om Mani Padme Hum, which basically attempts to bring enlightenment to all beings and purifies the mind. When I consumed the bong lassi(a very strong marijuana milk drink), I was able to feel the light in my head much easier, but with enough meditation, mushrooms, or marijuana, you'll be able to experience kundalini as well. It takes incredible focus, but with weed and shrooms i've found that meditating is incredibly easier, and your mind wants to do it. Good luck with your kundalini adventure. Let me know how it goes fo sho!

-Greg

 

[drizzit]

I love the tripp report I have no good advise id just like to say I hope we can all chill and see eachother once in a while in that realm besides that it'll make sense to ya someday