Bara Suen Ka
Matrice périnatale
- Inscrit
- 9 Déc 2013
- Messages
- 12
Heya people, I'm still fairly new to psychedelics, but I love it (and hate it), so here's a little intro:
Seriously this was one of the most impacting and mind-bending trips I've had. But I'll give some context in my story which will really juice it up, I promise, just read the thing.
I've talked about my trips to other people before, and written about it on other forums, but not yet in a forum dedicated to psychonauts.
Also, I'm a very spiritual person, so my trips tend to be spiritual as well. But not every spiritual person is open to psychedelics.
I'd much prefer to bundle all my experiences in one story, but I guess I should start somewhere.
-----------
Substance(s)/Dose: 1 little piece of paper, of which I doubted it could hold anything this potent... So yeah... Blotter, heard it was LSD, Shiva's (Still having no clue if that should mean anything)
Experience (in general and/or with the substance(s)): 0. Nothing. Nada.
Bodyweight: 75kg / 165lbs
Age: 23
-----------
Please tell us something about the set and setting:
Where did you trip
Ozora. Hungary. Amazing festival. It was during the opening with Shpongle.
Did you trip alone or with others?
I was more or less alone. There were a lot of people dancing around me, but I didn't have anyone with me at the time.
How did you prepare?
How does one prepare for their first LSD-trip ever? That's right, you think you can, but you can't. At least I know I couldn't, and I doubt anyone can.
Did you have a sitter?
Initially I did, but I was basically dancing/tripping everywhere around the main stage, and I lost my "sitter" before the LSD kicked in.
-----------
So a little story about myself:
Let me first tell you a few things about myself which are of interest. I'll try to be concise.
I'm an introvert. I have a tendency to stay introvert and maybe I'm leaning a bit more to the pessimistic, rather than the optimistic side of life.
Also I'm extremely sensitive to psychedelics. I can have deep fractal trips with all kinds of visuals and feelings with just weed. People talk about dying during mushroom and DMT trips, I felt it when smoking pot.
Before this remarkable event where I used LSD for the first time, I haven't even tried truffels. All I had tried so far was (pure) MDMA on a few occasions, and of course some weed. I can't say I smoke pot very often, which is partially because I can't roll a joint. Yeah go ahead, laugh.
----------
I can't keep myself from going into detail, so I'll just go into detail.
Going to Ozora.
After a long and rather tiresome trip to Hungary we were finally there! When we arrived it was night. I had never seen such a beautiful nightsky!
Also I was with my closest friends and some people I haven't met before, which turned out to be really, extremely cool people as well!
What a great start!
But then we had to wait before we could enter the terrain of Ozora itself. It was such a long and dreadful wait. At that moment it actually felt like any other camping vacation, but with really interesting modern hippies.
Then we got inside, set up our camp and the party could begin! My close friends who went to Ozora the year before told me: "Ah, finally I'm at home!"
I could understand Ozora was a great place when I saw it, but I didn't quite feel it yet. (Oh boy, if only I knew...)
Then one of my friends toured me around the place, showing me where everything was. When seeing all the places I did feel a lot more at home. Actually when I think back, I'm sad I'm not there, because Ozora really is a magical, amazing place. In the evening I could finally taste for the first time what this festival got to give. And I was already enjoying myself!
My friends told me: Ha, this is nothing yet. (The real program hasn't started yet, Ozora has like a 3-day pre-party)
Around this time I bought my LSD, also some mushrooms (which I haven't tried before as well) and we also had the prospect of maybe trying DMT as well. Shamefully, we didn't get to try the DMT later on.
So then it came. The introduction ceremony. The day before this event we went to see the Main Stage. I thought it didn't look so big or impressive from afar. (Basically I was pretty high I think, I wasn't really able to tell)
But during the opening ceremony we Run to the Main Stage. (I was there, somewhere: O.z.o.r.a festival 2013 - Opening (Running 2 main) - YouTube)
So after an absolutely unforgettable, beautiful ceremony, it was time to take the LSD.
I took it.
I took half of my little piece of blotter. My friends suggested I would take only a quarter. But heck, I felt pretty good, and can you imagine such a small piece of paper could do anything significant? I wanted to feel it. I wanted to experience it properly the first time. The amazing sounds of Shpongle music already started. Here a piece to get an idea: Shpongle live @O.Z.O.R.A 2013 Around the World in a Tea Daze - YouTube
Then I waited. And waited.
I wasn't even expecting that much anymore. I was already starting to feel a bit disappointed, I wanted a trip, something booming. Then my dear friend, the sitter, told me: 'Trust the LSD. It'll come. I assure you. Don't underestimate it.'
He was kinda smiling in a way like "Just wait and see, it will blow your mind."
After a while I lost sight of my friend, he was off to see some other people for a short while.
But then.
BOOM! Everything is made of crystal!
Now I was dancing around pretty wild already, and everything around the Main Stage was pretty swirly, so I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when it kicked in, but hell, when I noticed, I was baffled. I was still dancing anyways, and I couldn't stop dancing. I was on top of the world! Every muscle in me wanted to flex, feeling reborn again! But the visuals were most striking. Everything was made of crystal for a moment. There was so much going on around me in one second than what I've seen and heard in a hundred movies.
When I started focusing on the people around me I saw everyone was absolutely beautiful! Everyone was on top of their being and existence. I saw Gods and Godessess. And I've also felt supernatural. I felt like being so much more than I've ever considered myself to be. I could see through people, saw all kinds of energies flowing through them. Women were particularly interesting and irresistible. I shall not describe in full detail what I saw and what I experienced, but let's say it was very arousing, at least from what I saw.
Then a darker part rose up, I couldn't resist myself, I gave in to the LSD entirely and I have to say I became a horrible nuisance to several women. (Luckily nothing close to being unforgivable)
I suppose the setting was a pure blessing because the people around me were very kind, and gently told me to go somewhere else.
As for more details on the visuals and other parts of the trip: It was really much involved on the music, the smells and mostly the people dancing around me. I also danced a lot. I stretched every limb, leg and muscle. I have never danced this hard in my entire life, and from what I remember from the faces all around me, I think a lot of other people have never seen someone dance this hard in their entire life. Seeing people in this way was undescribable. And I can honestly say after this trip I started believing we have 1000 other senses which we don't usually use, but are unveiled after certain occurences, like the use of psychedelic substances.
After I began to realize I wasn't exactly an omnipotent God, I immediately felt shame for bothering other people. I slowly began to move away from the main stage. I was drenched in sweat and my shirt was absolutely useless after the dance. The walk from the Main Stage was kind of ghastly. I felt distant from the people around me in a sense. I saw other people looking at me. I must've looked pretty spooked out, or just flabberghasted. There were a lot of mixed feelings going around. On one side I just wanted to see my friends, wanted the trip to be over with, but also the adventure wasn't over yet. In the meanwhile, the dark psytrance had already started at the main stage. Which was pretty intense with the first LSD trip like that.
Finally I ended up at the Chillout stage. There I tried to find some kind of climax or release from what I've experienced. But I have to say my state of mind was becoming more and more liquid in there. The music and the setting contributed to that. I was hoping maybe someone would talk to me or maybe I would find someone to talk to. But honestly, I had no idea how I could even slightly express all that I had experienced in such a short period of time. I laid down there in the sand for an hour or two, but obviously it felt like years. The music transformed due to the LSD, and turned into pure energy, something unbiased, but profound and very present. Inside I cried. The entire night I cried inside myself. I had never seen such beautiful, unimaginable things in my life. And the feelings, everything was so much more real. Eventually, probably looking like a zombie, I wanted to go back to my camp. It certainly was a long walk.
Of course I saw more people, and I passed the art wall
Which looked a lot different during the night, with acid. I can tell you that.
I've never seen faces like this before. And I cannot describe how faces are much more important than we think, but they are. Expressions are beautiful. The wonders we get to see. And looking at other people during my first acid trip was just... Well yeah... It meant a lot to me, very deeply, to the very core of my being.
And also seeing my closest friends during this acid trip was very special. On a particular occasion during this trip I saw one of my friends' heart pounding green energy which spread through the entire universe. Not a single word I waste on this can describe how beautiful it was and how deeply it touched me seeing this.
But the aftermath...
After I came back to my camp I felt broken... Inside. I had hurt people. (For the record, I have forgiven myself, and I know others have forgiven me)
I had taken off my chains entirely, I had set myself loose entirely. I saw a side of myself I didn't remember I had, and it was very confronting. In the morning I cried. One of my friends came to me and helped me through that moment. I had to cry it out. I was very depressed after this and the continuous music in the background kept my trip going. I don't know why, but I decided to take the other, smaller half of my blotter. The people around me were pretty shocked about the effect it had on me, and some people who considered taking LSD for the first time as well, now refrained from it because they saw I was pretty messed up. All in all, I tripped 2 days straight from just one blotter. I believe this is pretty long, but then again, like I told earlier: I'm very sensitive to psychedelic substances.
In the end I also didn't get to use my mushrooms and we lost our DMT as well. But to be honest. This one trip. From this one blotter. It had me really good... Basically it had me pondering for a month.
A long while I doubted if taking LSD was a good idea. But now after a while, and after taking truffels for the first time (which really helped me), I come to say I have no regrets. Psychedelic substances are perfect tools to confront your dark side. We tend to put so much of ourselves inside boxes, to never look at these parts of ourselves again. Guess what? These dark, inner parts are always there, and we aren't aware of it, but we are always victim from this behaviour. Instead of looking inside and than looking away in fear, we need to confront it. That's where psychedelic substances can come in.
I might talk later about my second LSD trip, which is all my experience with LSD so far. The second LSD trip I had was somewhere else. The second LSD trip was also extremely spiritual, but more on one subject, a bit darker, but also very interesting and very deep.
I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I enjoyed writing this. I'm extremely fascinated by what psychedelic substances have brought me so far, so we'll see what's more to come.
Sincerely, Bara Suen Ka
Seriously this was one of the most impacting and mind-bending trips I've had. But I'll give some context in my story which will really juice it up, I promise, just read the thing.
I've talked about my trips to other people before, and written about it on other forums, but not yet in a forum dedicated to psychonauts.
Also, I'm a very spiritual person, so my trips tend to be spiritual as well. But not every spiritual person is open to psychedelics.
I'd much prefer to bundle all my experiences in one story, but I guess I should start somewhere.
-----------
Substance(s)/Dose: 1 little piece of paper, of which I doubted it could hold anything this potent... So yeah... Blotter, heard it was LSD, Shiva's (Still having no clue if that should mean anything)
Experience (in general and/or with the substance(s)): 0. Nothing. Nada.
Bodyweight: 75kg / 165lbs
Age: 23
-----------
Please tell us something about the set and setting:
Where did you trip
Ozora. Hungary. Amazing festival. It was during the opening with Shpongle.
Did you trip alone or with others?
I was more or less alone. There were a lot of people dancing around me, but I didn't have anyone with me at the time.
How did you prepare?
How does one prepare for their first LSD-trip ever? That's right, you think you can, but you can't. At least I know I couldn't, and I doubt anyone can.
Did you have a sitter?
Initially I did, but I was basically dancing/tripping everywhere around the main stage, and I lost my "sitter" before the LSD kicked in.
-----------
So a little story about myself:
Let me first tell you a few things about myself which are of interest. I'll try to be concise.
I'm an introvert. I have a tendency to stay introvert and maybe I'm leaning a bit more to the pessimistic, rather than the optimistic side of life.
Also I'm extremely sensitive to psychedelics. I can have deep fractal trips with all kinds of visuals and feelings with just weed. People talk about dying during mushroom and DMT trips, I felt it when smoking pot.
Before this remarkable event where I used LSD for the first time, I haven't even tried truffels. All I had tried so far was (pure) MDMA on a few occasions, and of course some weed. I can't say I smoke pot very often, which is partially because I can't roll a joint. Yeah go ahead, laugh.
----------
I can't keep myself from going into detail, so I'll just go into detail.
Going to Ozora.
After a long and rather tiresome trip to Hungary we were finally there! When we arrived it was night. I had never seen such a beautiful nightsky!
Also I was with my closest friends and some people I haven't met before, which turned out to be really, extremely cool people as well!
What a great start!
But then we had to wait before we could enter the terrain of Ozora itself. It was such a long and dreadful wait. At that moment it actually felt like any other camping vacation, but with really interesting modern hippies.
Then we got inside, set up our camp and the party could begin! My close friends who went to Ozora the year before told me: "Ah, finally I'm at home!"
I could understand Ozora was a great place when I saw it, but I didn't quite feel it yet. (Oh boy, if only I knew...)
Then one of my friends toured me around the place, showing me where everything was. When seeing all the places I did feel a lot more at home. Actually when I think back, I'm sad I'm not there, because Ozora really is a magical, amazing place. In the evening I could finally taste for the first time what this festival got to give. And I was already enjoying myself!
My friends told me: Ha, this is nothing yet. (The real program hasn't started yet, Ozora has like a 3-day pre-party)
Around this time I bought my LSD, also some mushrooms (which I haven't tried before as well) and we also had the prospect of maybe trying DMT as well. Shamefully, we didn't get to try the DMT later on.
So then it came. The introduction ceremony. The day before this event we went to see the Main Stage. I thought it didn't look so big or impressive from afar. (Basically I was pretty high I think, I wasn't really able to tell)
But during the opening ceremony we Run to the Main Stage. (I was there, somewhere: O.z.o.r.a festival 2013 - Opening (Running 2 main) - YouTube)
So after an absolutely unforgettable, beautiful ceremony, it was time to take the LSD.
I took it.
I took half of my little piece of blotter. My friends suggested I would take only a quarter. But heck, I felt pretty good, and can you imagine such a small piece of paper could do anything significant? I wanted to feel it. I wanted to experience it properly the first time. The amazing sounds of Shpongle music already started. Here a piece to get an idea: Shpongle live @O.Z.O.R.A 2013 Around the World in a Tea Daze - YouTube
Then I waited. And waited.
I wasn't even expecting that much anymore. I was already starting to feel a bit disappointed, I wanted a trip, something booming. Then my dear friend, the sitter, told me: 'Trust the LSD. It'll come. I assure you. Don't underestimate it.'
He was kinda smiling in a way like "Just wait and see, it will blow your mind."
After a while I lost sight of my friend, he was off to see some other people for a short while.
But then.
BOOM! Everything is made of crystal!
Now I was dancing around pretty wild already, and everything around the Main Stage was pretty swirly, so I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when it kicked in, but hell, when I noticed, I was baffled. I was still dancing anyways, and I couldn't stop dancing. I was on top of the world! Every muscle in me wanted to flex, feeling reborn again! But the visuals were most striking. Everything was made of crystal for a moment. There was so much going on around me in one second than what I've seen and heard in a hundred movies.
When I started focusing on the people around me I saw everyone was absolutely beautiful! Everyone was on top of their being and existence. I saw Gods and Godessess. And I've also felt supernatural. I felt like being so much more than I've ever considered myself to be. I could see through people, saw all kinds of energies flowing through them. Women were particularly interesting and irresistible. I shall not describe in full detail what I saw and what I experienced, but let's say it was very arousing, at least from what I saw.
Then a darker part rose up, I couldn't resist myself, I gave in to the LSD entirely and I have to say I became a horrible nuisance to several women. (Luckily nothing close to being unforgivable)
I suppose the setting was a pure blessing because the people around me were very kind, and gently told me to go somewhere else.
As for more details on the visuals and other parts of the trip: It was really much involved on the music, the smells and mostly the people dancing around me. I also danced a lot. I stretched every limb, leg and muscle. I have never danced this hard in my entire life, and from what I remember from the faces all around me, I think a lot of other people have never seen someone dance this hard in their entire life. Seeing people in this way was undescribable. And I can honestly say after this trip I started believing we have 1000 other senses which we don't usually use, but are unveiled after certain occurences, like the use of psychedelic substances.
After I began to realize I wasn't exactly an omnipotent God, I immediately felt shame for bothering other people. I slowly began to move away from the main stage. I was drenched in sweat and my shirt was absolutely useless after the dance. The walk from the Main Stage was kind of ghastly. I felt distant from the people around me in a sense. I saw other people looking at me. I must've looked pretty spooked out, or just flabberghasted. There were a lot of mixed feelings going around. On one side I just wanted to see my friends, wanted the trip to be over with, but also the adventure wasn't over yet. In the meanwhile, the dark psytrance had already started at the main stage. Which was pretty intense with the first LSD trip like that.
Finally I ended up at the Chillout stage. There I tried to find some kind of climax or release from what I've experienced. But I have to say my state of mind was becoming more and more liquid in there. The music and the setting contributed to that. I was hoping maybe someone would talk to me or maybe I would find someone to talk to. But honestly, I had no idea how I could even slightly express all that I had experienced in such a short period of time. I laid down there in the sand for an hour or two, but obviously it felt like years. The music transformed due to the LSD, and turned into pure energy, something unbiased, but profound and very present. Inside I cried. The entire night I cried inside myself. I had never seen such beautiful, unimaginable things in my life. And the feelings, everything was so much more real. Eventually, probably looking like a zombie, I wanted to go back to my camp. It certainly was a long walk.
Of course I saw more people, and I passed the art wall
Which looked a lot different during the night, with acid. I can tell you that.
I've never seen faces like this before. And I cannot describe how faces are much more important than we think, but they are. Expressions are beautiful. The wonders we get to see. And looking at other people during my first acid trip was just... Well yeah... It meant a lot to me, very deeply, to the very core of my being.
And also seeing my closest friends during this acid trip was very special. On a particular occasion during this trip I saw one of my friends' heart pounding green energy which spread through the entire universe. Not a single word I waste on this can describe how beautiful it was and how deeply it touched me seeing this.
But the aftermath...
After I came back to my camp I felt broken... Inside. I had hurt people. (For the record, I have forgiven myself, and I know others have forgiven me)
I had taken off my chains entirely, I had set myself loose entirely. I saw a side of myself I didn't remember I had, and it was very confronting. In the morning I cried. One of my friends came to me and helped me through that moment. I had to cry it out. I was very depressed after this and the continuous music in the background kept my trip going. I don't know why, but I decided to take the other, smaller half of my blotter. The people around me were pretty shocked about the effect it had on me, and some people who considered taking LSD for the first time as well, now refrained from it because they saw I was pretty messed up. All in all, I tripped 2 days straight from just one blotter. I believe this is pretty long, but then again, like I told earlier: I'm very sensitive to psychedelic substances.
In the end I also didn't get to use my mushrooms and we lost our DMT as well. But to be honest. This one trip. From this one blotter. It had me really good... Basically it had me pondering for a month.
A long while I doubted if taking LSD was a good idea. But now after a while, and after taking truffels for the first time (which really helped me), I come to say I have no regrets. Psychedelic substances are perfect tools to confront your dark side. We tend to put so much of ourselves inside boxes, to never look at these parts of ourselves again. Guess what? These dark, inner parts are always there, and we aren't aware of it, but we are always victim from this behaviour. Instead of looking inside and than looking away in fear, we need to confront it. That's where psychedelic substances can come in.
I might talk later about my second LSD trip, which is all my experience with LSD so far. The second LSD trip I had was somewhere else. The second LSD trip was also extremely spiritual, but more on one subject, a bit darker, but also very interesting and very deep.
I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I enjoyed writing this. I'm extremely fascinated by what psychedelic substances have brought me so far, so we'll see what's more to come.
Sincerely, Bara Suen Ka