Christiaan26 a dit:
A good explanation indeed, thank you for that. But i feel like you trivialize, play down, smooth over, gloss over what is have experienced though. With other words, the experience? I wouldn't anyone else to experience the same thing... Further, after that, i sometimes smoke thc, but then a little, and it still makes me feel very uncomferatable, bad feeling in my heart, pannickattacks etc. The symptoms i describe are quite common? I don't believe you. But, no more thc for me. I think it's a shitty drug, there are more interesting stuff out there on the market. But thank you for the insight you gave to me what happenend to me that day. grtz, Christian
Hi there!
I'm only new to the forums but when I stumbled upon this thread, it made me gasp.. I was in an extremely similar position for about 3 years..
One day after smoking wayyyyyy to much I was having a feed and a bit of my food went down the wrong pipe, ofcourse alarms started going off in my head.. I was thinking horrible thoughts, things like "You've done it now, you'll be dead in ten minutes!" I thought I was choking to death. Ofcourse my friends knew this wasn't true as I was taking huuuuge breaths in order to scream "I'm choking! Call an ambulance" -_-
Anyway my heart was beating soooo fast, thumping like a drum, so as soon as my friends convinced me I was not choking, and considering how high I was, naturally the panic shifted towards my chest. I basically 'knew' that my heart was going to explode and that this was the end.
Anyhow I somehow made it through the night without calling an ambulance and figured, wow I'm glad to be alive.
I was shocked by the experience, 'altered' would be a fitting word. I felt altered.
So a week later I spark up again, about 10-15 minutes after the first cone just as the effects are starting to build momentum my hearts starts speeding up again, and panic ensues. It was awful!
So I figure, if I quit smoking weed I'll be fine. The problem is THC has been a dear friend of mine for some time now, and losing him in this way seemed absolutely terrible! So I kept smoking, but the attacks only got worse. I decided to take a break from cannabis, and didn't smoke for 3-4 months. My first sesh after the break was
amazing! I was basically convinced I was fixed and carried on, resuming smoking every few days. Note - During my break from pot I still tripped on LSD, K etc & did not notice any anxiety at all. Also note - I didn't even know I had anxiety at the time, I simply thought "My heart is fucked and I'l probably die young" :\
So a few months after starting up again the panic attacks started appearing again, first they were only minor but they grew and grew until I couldn't take it anymore. So I decided to visit a Psychologist who straight away said "Dude.. don't fear, you've got anxiety and it's extremely common." This helped ALOT. I was also prescribed antidepressants for 6 months, during which I did not smoke weed at all. So after that, I began smoking again, and the anxiety came back.. However it took alot longer to start appearing again, about 8 months I think. I thought I'd be okay because I now knew 'what' it was. But the anxiety also knew this, and hence got stronger. Physical pain began accompanying my already rapid heartbeat, and to top that I started getting attacks at work, when I wasn't stoned.. I was such a panicky person during this time in my life
So I had no choice, and settled with taking 3 month breaks from pot every few months. This cycle repeated for about 2 years..
The difference came when I started exploring psychedelics alot more, naturally I became more curious and I started researching anxiety. I discovered a fair bit about how it preys on the human mind. It was also around this time that I stumpled upon the late, great Terence McKenna, and his seemingly infinite supply of online youtube discussions and speeches, which then directed me to our friend Psilocybin. Terence (RIP old mate) inspired me alot, and my first high dose mushroom trip basically forced me to watch what I was letting anxiety do to me, over and over and over.
To cut a long story short, I had a sesh with a mate a few days later. The anxiety started coming up, but I stood up and said to myself in my head "No. Not this time." I was sturn and to the point. I started relaxing and thinking things like "Come on man, you've been through this before. You
always come out alive, so chill" and "Fuck you anxiety, you motherfucker!" It sounds stupid but I could feel it working, and began smiling. It seemed the more I believed in myself, the less of the anxiety I could feel, my heart was still beating fast, but I knew I was going to be okay, the pain subsided and my heartbeat began stabilizing. All of a sudden, I was taken over by a wave of euphoria which instantly replaced the anxiety. I hadn't felt like this while stoned in a long time, and I instantly knew I had my friend THC back.
I have Terence and our wonderful fungal friends to thank and am forever grateful. But my point here is, please try not to worry. Life's too short to let these terrible diseases cause havoc in our minds. A traumatic experience led to anxiety, which took away 3 years of my life, sure I still lived in those 3 years, still partied, still worked, earned money and functioned as a member of society. But it was a life dominated by fear, paranoia and the ongoing sense of impending doom. Those of you who have experienced it know it's not a nice place to be. And Although I'm still a little sensitive to cannabis, I've not had a full blown panic attack since. From time to time, I get a little edgy but I simply relax and focus on my breathing. Slow breathing techniques such as in through the nose, pause 2, 3 out through the mouth, 2 3, etc are great for slowing down a rapid heartbeat, and awesome for relaxing in general. If you're a coffee drinker I'd advise cutting down, or quit altogether. But at the very least don't drink coffee before or while stoned.
I hope this helps, and as the others have already stated - Do some research on how anxiety works, it'll give you a better understand of what's happening and why it's happening. But moreso, you have the ability to overcome this, you just
have to do it! :rock: