Staring at the ceiling (DMT)

[IJesusChrist]

Last DMT trip started very awkwardly. I took the last hit and the room's vibration became ecstatic. Everything became like a blurry photograph, and, as always, I began to tense up. I'm used to it now, I know I'm going to anxious of where I'm going, and I like it. It's liberating in the knowledge that it's just there, rather than controlling me.

Anyways, I had enough with trying to hold the weight of my ancient body, and I tumbled over to my right, as to look towards the heavens. What first came at me was a woman [these were not hallucinations in full], she was represented by crystals, much like mushroom CEVs cascading over my ceiling. As soon as she appeared, my entire room was sex. Everything was covered in women's theighs, legs, breasts, lips, body figures. It was enormously erotic, but I failed to see any type of arrousal or interest (I was fucking blasted on DMT!). As soon as I realized this cinema of porn was some sort of display of something meaningful, it changed. Immidiately the woman, or women(?), became very hostile. They distorted into a yelling, ranting female.

The description of reality placed me back in a headspace I hadn't experienced in years, back to the deepest of emotions, the depths of my eternal abyss. I was lost, but I knew it was going to be so. I was conditioned to take my surprise and release it's debilitating grasp on my perceptions.

And there it was again: She spoke with such wisdom I couldn't deny it. I couldn't run, hide, or forget about it this time. "Your reality means nothing. Everything you experience is what we have created for you. What is important is what translates into this world, and you are not happy with what is being sent here, and neither are we. You are going to change, again, again, and again. You are fucked. You are screwed. When you die, which will be now, you will be stuck here forever."

Yeah, yeah, same old shit. It came to me that this wasn't any type of truth. The meaning behind the metaphors, the endless and unforgiving metaphors was to scare me. Motivation struck me like an ape eating a mushroom, and within the trip I knew it all. My life was planned, well, atleast how to plan it was planned. I wrote down the most important thoughts, the ones that weren't fleating past me like fruit flies. I wanted to explain to the world what happiness came from. I did, in a way. It is forever etched on my note book for all to read.

Your inner child, that 'dream' you had of yourself when you are 20,30,40,50,60,70, dead. That image you have with your house, your happiness, your life - perfect. That is you. That is what you are. That is who you need to become. But it hit me, I cannot preach this to anyone, nobodys purpose will come from my emotions, my insights, my revelations. I can only explain to people my 'destiny'.

 

[EndlessEntity]

awsome story man
when i read it, it reminds me of my own trips.
i've noticed that during trips i feel as if im opened to new frequencies in the world
or seeing gods or beings that are only visible or can only be felt on such frequencies.
and during one trip while following a thought pattern (most of my great epiphanies occur from these long thought patterns while on psychedelics) well during my trip i figured the brain is made up of several different 'layers' or different 'voices' or however people percieve them. these different voices are levels of subconscious awareness or even subconscious prejudices about the world, mental stigmas that we carry throughout or lives unknowingly. When on a large trip i've noticed these layers/voices/stigmas are the building blocks that make up our dualistic consciousness that we use to reason, and the drugs that induce such thoughts tend to anthropomorphize these building blocks into the beings or aliens that we think we are seeing.
One thing i love about these substances is the fact that they put these subconscious stigmas into a conscious view, making all mental blocks and ties and strings disappear giving us that 'refreshed' feeling after a trip like a mental cleansing that allows us to see the world in the light it was meant to be seen without our personal subjective bias.

well ijesuschrist from your posts u seem like we have alot in common so i thought i'd share this with u. plz get back to me on it - i'd love to hear your thoughts on my theories.