Quoi de neuf ?

Bienvenue sur Psychonaut.fr !

En vous enregistrant, vous pourrez discuter de psychotropes, écrire vos meilleurs trip-reports et mieux connaitre la communauté

Je m'inscris!

rage

ararat

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
8 Juin 2006
Messages
3 374
I know I've been bashing Spice for being so angry all the time, but boy I gained understanding for him these days. I'm so fucking enraged at the whole plunder of our world. the systematic subjugation and sheer destruction of the natural inborn creativity and zezt for life in children, preparing them for a life of poverty. not poverty in the sense of nothing to eat, but poverty in friendship, community, love, experience of nature, poverty in time, poverty of feeling. schools are so fucking ugly. I can understand any teenager who's rebelling. see the writings of Gatto in this context.
the continuous conversion of natural capital, social capital, spiritual capital into financial capital, aka money, aka abstract worthless numbers. wanna make money? choose a thing that people do for each other or themselves, take it away from them, sell back an unsatisfying imitation.


what enrages me most is that I am or have been playing a part in this whole idiocy. it angers me to see myself closing off when I'm with people, any people. nowhere are people so alone as in the subway. living as some separate part in a heap of strangers. I want to scream, I want to tell people, I feel if I don't vent it it'll get worse and I'll alienate my friends even further. I'm done with trying to control and even more so by being controlled.
 

HermesTrismegistus

Elfe Mécanique
Inscrit
11 Mai 2010
Messages
344
As long as your perspective is not to much focussed on one side of the coin, then there is nothing wrong with some healthy anger, but ones you see to much of one side of the coin.. then it will be better to change your perspective before you lose yourself to much in anger and confusion or on the other hand in blindness and foolishness.
 

IJesusChrist

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
22 Juil 2008
Messages
7 482
Which is why I bashed spice so much, Hermes. He was completely one sided - apocolyptic.

I agreed with him, and I agree with Banana. But bitterness propogates bitterness...

maybe that is for the better in the long run? Make everyone pissed off and depressed until we implode. maybe thats the only way to change anything..

i dont know

merry fucking christmas
 

darkwolfunseen

Sale drogué·e
Inscrit
5 Août 2009
Messages
944
I might be a cynic, so it's probably not a surprise that I would agree with Spice.

I wish it were as simple as something small, a peaceful declaration of aversion to everything that's gone wrong in the last 50 years (If not much longer), but it's not enough. Unlike a Christmas story, the good guy doesn't win in the end, he's mind-fucked into zombiesm and then spit out a shell.

Falalala.. fuck it.
 

HermesTrismegistus

Elfe Mécanique
Inscrit
11 Mai 2010
Messages
344
maybe that is for the better in the long run? Make everyone pissed off and depressed until we implode. maybe thats the only way to change anything..

I guess your right here, in the end the coin will flip around....

I might be a cynic, so it's probably not a surprise that I would agree with Spice.

No, i don't think your a cynic, and spice isn't either. You guys just see the things as they are in your own way.

Unlike a Christmas story, the good guy doesn't win in the end, he's mind-fucked into zombiesm and then spit out a shell.

Neither does the bad guy...

I know it is a paradox, but ones you chose, i am afraid you already have lost yourself to much on one side of the coin.

Not that there is anything wrong with losing yourself on one side of the coin, but a fact will be that or your will lose yourself in fear or anger, or you will lose yourself in bliss and happiness. The point here is that both seem to be bad for ourselves and the world around us.

anyway, there's no real point for speculating about the purpose of anger right now for me, but I'm gonna write what was on my heart for a long time. the only thing I ever wanted, the only thing I will ever want, is love. every other desire was some vain or ignorant delusion, sometimes both.

So do others.... But maybe it just isn't out there, atleast not without the right perspective. I have spoken far to many people who thought they knew the solutions and told me that if the world would look like this or that there would be a greater place for love etc. But i think that what they didn't notice, was that there own ideal dream of how the world should look like, did already causes fear and hate into other people.

Unless we globally would change our own perspective and would stop with lying trough ourselves and did try to find out who we truly are, maybe then we could agree with all the others, which would cause a change to our outer world. But i guess, IF this would ever happen this will be in a far faraway future. For now, i believe we can only change ourselves by stop lying to ourselves and let the world around us for what it is without condemning ourselves or others. Atleast this is what i try to learn, and until now it helped me a lot to experience a little more love and peace with a world that can be so unforgiving.

I'll ones read a text which helped me a lot with overcoming a lot of hate and frustration that i felt, when observing the world around me. maybe it can be of use of others so i post it here.

Gr,
Hermes.

Text >> ---------------------------------------- << Text

I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world. I honour your choices to learn in the way you feel is right for you.

I know it is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you 'should' be. I realise that I cannot know what is best for you, although perhaps sometimes I think I do. I do not know what you have chosen to learn, how you have chosen to learn it, with whom or in what time period. I have not been where you have been, looking at life through your eyes, so how can I know what you need.

I allow you to be in the world without a thought or word of judgement from me about the deeds you undertake. I see no error in the things you say and do. In this place where I am, I see that there are many ways to perceive and experience the different facets of our world. I allow without reservation the choices you make in each moment. I make no judgement of this, for if I would deny your right to your evolution, then I would deny that right for myself and all others.

To those who would choose a way I cannot walk, whilst I may not choose to add my power and my energy to this way, I will never deny you the gift of love that God has bestowed within me, for all creation. As I love you, so I shall be loved. As I sow, so shall I reap.

I allow you the universal right of free will to walk your own path, creating steps or to sit awhile if that is what is right for you. I will make no judgement that these steps are large or small, nor light or heavy or that they lead up or down, for this is just my viewpoint. I may see you do nothing and judge it to be unworthy and yet it may be that you bring great healing as you stand blessed by the Light of God. I cannot always see the higher picture of Divine order.

For it is the inalienable right of all life to choose their own evolution and with great love I acknowledge your right to determine your future. In humility I bow to the realisation that the way I see as best for me does not have to mean it is also right for you. I know that you are led as I am, following the inner excitement to know your own path.

I know that the many races, religions, customs, nationalities and beliefs within our world, bring us great richness and allow us the benefit and teachings of such diverseness. I know we each learn in our own unique way in order to bring that love and wisdom back to the whole. I know that if there were only one way to do something, there would need only be one person.

I will love even if you behave differently than I think you should or believe differently than i do. I understand you are truly my brother and my sister, though you may have been born in a different place and believe in another God than I.

The love I feel is for all of God's world. I know that every living thing is a part of God and I feel a love deep within for every person, animal, tree and flower, every bird, insect, river and ocean and for all the creatures in all the world.

I live my life in loving service, being the best me I can, becoming wiser in the perfection of Divine truth, becoming happier in the joy of Unconditional Love!
 

IJesusChrist

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
22 Juil 2008
Messages
7 482
Thats beautiful hermes, but it is just another idealism...

I don't know the answers. Nobody does. Nobody knows what is right or wrong, but we feel it after the fact. Some of us are better at hiding that inclination or the instinctual guilt when we take and harm, some of us are crushed under its weight.

Some of us thought there was something wrong with us; we were "depressed" and needed to be medicated, we had "anxiety... disorder" and need to be treated. Some of us simply ignore it all together, somehow cope with our underlying feeling of something is wrong here.

You know why people have social anxiety disorder? Because we were never meant to be in shopping malls with 10,000 other strangers, evolution didn't account for that.

You know why people have depression? Because we weren't meant to hold jobs for 40 hours a week in shit we don't give a damn about, trying to make someone else wealthier than ourselves. Evolution hasn't accounted for that.

You know why we have obesity and diabetes and heart disease? Because food became something to sell, not something to eat.

You know why people commit suicide and do mass homicides and bombings and protests? Cause they feel their inner guilt, pain, disgust, but don't listen, weren't taught, never got the chance to really see.

We have evolved, and existed to do just that, and experience life. We are not formed to work boring, repetitive tasks, use money, or drive cars...

We are here to exist, we are here to live, we are here to experience and pursue happiness. But we can't we're stuck, fenced in by people who have been taught that the world is a market place, and the meaning of their existance is to get rich. People who believe that if you die wealthy, you died successful.

It all fucked up. Its all great. I'm on the fence on everything because there are no right answers, and I usually don't "feel" the right or wrong until its over. And even then, what truly is to blame? What truly can fix it? And there I go again, back to my fence post, continually observing, never taking action, never promoting change.

Don't know what else to say.
 

ophiuchus

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
14 Nov 2006
Messages
4 530
when i am angry, other people being angry with me just makes me more angry. what i really want is for someone to probe into my feelings and at least try to understand, even if it's beyond them. from an outside perspective it's not always as easy to see though. the instinctive reaction for most people, when someone shows them unwarranted anger, is to get frustrated, or even worst, meet their anger with more anger. however we all know deep down that the only way to soothe anger, in ourselves and in others, is compassion, or kindness and understanding. the person experiencing anger needs to see that higher option and feel some level of resolve. we are very simple in this regard. it's almost like monkey see monkey do. only it is not necessarily what we do, but the expression of our true intention.

this is not to say that i don't relate to this though, i definitely feel a bit of frustration with unconsciousness (in others [and even in myself]), but when i really take it in, i feel that frustration is not the way to handle it. we must take a step back in these situations and try to get to the root of it, "why anger"?
 

BrainEater

Banni
Inscrit
21 Juil 2007
Messages
5 922
it's like either you contribute to/join the "oh everything is so well" pretending (game?) while deep within knowing that it's not or you go your own way or so. egomania with the intent of disguising itself... it's dangerous... :?

i would call it the entry ticket to the artificial world of most modern capitalism. it's "almost" as if you would sell your
soul to some fake wannabes. others call it the "rat race". whatever you call it, don't ever do what you are supposed to do or so,when you can't feel it anymore... something like that....
unfortunately it seems, i can't express it very well. basically what i want to say is that you must do what you must do.
but not from the point of view from any authority, but from the authority of your own being. again i hope this is put well enough so you understand what i mean.. the basic mistake most people really make is to take authority as truth and not vice versa and in that aspect "i suppose" there is some or the other generational conflict. just because someone has authority doesn't have to mean that person is right or even always right........ what a stupidity lol...
as i see it, violence is not a solution, but as history shows, force was used more than enough, to make a mild understatement lol.

hmm the thread somewhat reminds me of what i heard in some radio... don't remember it fully but it was like "...first you got to get mad. you have to shout "i'm as mad as hell and i'm not gonna take this anymore!!!i'm a human being, my life has value, goddamnit!" " something like that lol... :p

or what yoda said fits very well too.. "fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."
it's like emotions have a dualistic aspect and a cyclic aspect...
i think it's about learning about yourself so consider this, if you can.
it's not always nice, to get stuck in self-created cycles of pain, is it???

truth can be felt and experienced directly.... don't let yourself be fooled, please!!!!!!!!!



peace
 

HermesTrismegistus

Elfe Mécanique
Inscrit
11 Mai 2010
Messages
344
Living in peace with the ratrace doesn't has to mean that you need to join it.

I escaped a long time ago from the ratrace, atleast to certain degree so that i can do what i wanted to do. And yeah i needed to go trough a lot of hate, pain and suffering. But it was worth it..... And right now, i see no reason anymore to be angry or to hate anyone at all. I mean i can't change the way they behave, act or live. And i certainly won't manipulate them or force them, That would be something that's really stupid, since that is exactly what the ratrace does....

I can only forgive them there mistakes and also my own, so i don't have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.
 
G

gugunaxy

Invité
How can I control depression if my stressor is constant? My stressor is college. I can't leave, but staying here is making my depression significantly worse. I've become extremely suicidal. I've seen a counselor twice, with weekly appointments continuing. I also have an appointment with the on campus Dr, but antidepressants don't always work and I'm not sure how much longer I can carry on like this.

(editors note: SPAM)
 

VerusDeus

Sale drogué·e
Inscrit
6 Avr 2006
Messages
914
@ Gugunaxy: isn't there always a constant 'stressor,' I mean what is expected of us in colleges and schools and on the workfloor is unnatural and goes against our instincts/intuition sometimes, but then again any living being needs adversity.(evolutionarily speaking adversity creates progress) I think we have become somewhat lazy parallel to our becoming 'hyperproductive,' I mean our personal lives start to revolve around our leisure time and when we are working or in school there is a tendency to shut down or perform in a sort-of standby mode. Any organism, and perhaps the human being specifically, is very capable of adapting, and thereby finding a way to deal with the circumstances one finds oneself in. (So you can work around this instinctive escapism that is the result of being 'made' to do certain things)

My advice is to try and accept that you have to go through this whole ordeal, try not to resist it but find the way of least resistance within this trajectory. If at some point you feel like it is too much and you just become unhappy, take a day for yourself (like Allusion says "acting upon ones will definately eases stress").

And if anything, suicide is obviously not the answer (I am sure you do realise that). Life is, to a large extent, what you make of it (adapt!), and all the other frazzle is something we have to learn to deal with (by acceptance and creating alternatives).

Remember in the end, you are the Actor, no one can truly impose anything on you, you can always do as you please. However, freedom in this case is not the complete absence of restrictions, freedom is to be able to choose how to deal with the restrictions and/or adversity one meets. (Ultimately though you are entirely free, you can drop out of school if you really feel like that is the way for you).

"You are the center, and you're always free,
in every direction" -Junip
 

HermesTrismegistus

Elfe Mécanique
Inscrit
11 Mai 2010
Messages
344
I am to high of the mdma at the moment, since i can't really see what i am doing on my screen. My pupils are a bit to wide to able to really focus on what i amiwriting.....

But i am readinga poem at the moment, (its hard to read atm,, but i thinkn all of you psychonauts should atleast have read these poems ones..... especially gugunaxy...

http://www.thegreatillusion.com/.

Love you guys :heart: :-D

Gr,
Hermes.
 

ararat

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
8 Juin 2006
Messages
3 374
guys, the most wonderful thing happened to me, I went to one of those vipassana meditation courses, and holy moly it was a ride through hell. a good and necessary one at that. I had been fermenting inside my own juices for some months, and in that week the barrel was opened and what I found was wine :D
it was crazy, I had no idea that a form of meditation could be so powerful. we did anapana (focus on breath) for three days to sharpen focus, and then 7 days of vipassana. I was close to leaving the course, but I thought that I should give this other type of meditation a try and then lightning struck... literally, I thought something like this is only possible with drugs. all the anger was sweated out, all the pain of carrying the world on the shoulders radiated out, the knot of vanity and superiority is still glowing in my nose, but hey. anicca anicca anicca, that will go away too. everything does.


:heart:
 

ophiuchus

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
14 Nov 2006
Messages
4 530
good to hear, about your yoga discovery. :) i have been learning a good bit of yoga from my friend lately, and i have to say, my life would be quite different without it. training hard winds my muscles up so tight that yoga is really one of the only things that so effectively unwinds them.
 
Haut