Quoi de neuf ?

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feelings.

Finarfin

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Sometimes it feels like all we do on this forum is debate. fight over who is right. Defending your ideas and argue with each other.
Let,s do something different. Let,s talk about feelings.
How do you feel at the moment?
How do you feel in general?
What do you feel when you think about death. What makes you sad, angry, happy, (the whole spectrum of human emotions).

I want to know about emotions and how to deal with them.
 

Demahdi

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Finarfin a dit:
Sometimes it feels like all we do on this forum is debate. fight over who is right. Defending your ideas and argue with each other.
Let,s do something different. Let,s talk about feelings.
How do you feel at the moment?
How do you feel in general?
What do you feel when you think about death. What makes you sad, angry, happy, (the whole spectrum of human emotions).

I want to know about emotions and how to deal with them.

Sometimes I feel as if I am handed the box of Pandora. Right is shouting open it and left is scaring me off with the consequences.
I am making predictions that are revealed faster and faster, within 24 hours now.
I am thinking about an appointment with a shrink. Might be hospitalized if I tell him only half of my latest adventures lol
 

Finarfin

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What is this box of Pandora you have been handed?
You write you make predictions, what kind of predictions and how does it make you feel.

You write that you are thinking about getting help. how does this makes you feel?
You write that you think about making an appointment with a shrink? is this serious? Or is it some kind of joke?
I have a feeling it is not a joke.
 

Finarfin

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@ Demadhi.
Reading your post again and i notice that the only emotion you name is fear (Quote: Right is shouting open it and left is scaring me off with the consequences.)
Are you afraid and what is it you fear?
 

Demahdi

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I don't like discussing my feelings. I will get back to it later.
Have you heard of the story about Pandora? Looking in a box she shouldn't have.
 

Demahdi

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Do you know about the story of Pandora? Opening a box that shouldn’t be opened? I have been curious looking into “the field” and I honestly believed at a certain moment I could coax something in life my girlfriend would experience too. She is sober, always 24/7, my personal sitter :). To make a long story short, after a fat month she got live real time confirmation. I knew this was going to happen, but the astonishment is a thing I will never forget. These trips were exactly leading where they were telling me they were leading to. When this event occurred my astonishment rippled the entire event into an experience of pure terror.
As good as it can get, the bad it can get as well I guess. It’s like Petrus walking the water trying to save Jesus, but when he starts thinking about it starts sinking into the water. Sorry for my Christian roots to link this example.
Whatever it was, it powers got me by surprise and I will never open the door that abruptly again. SUBTLE is my prayer before starting anything in that sort of matter again. But it comes as it comes and it goes as it goes… I don’t control synchronicity, but I wonder if I trigger certain events to happen sometimes… It’s too weird to even mention, but these coincidences keep piling up too often last year. And the acceleration of it is an astonishing fact. Re-appearing dreams testing me, observing me, ... I know I should pick up the conversation, but it got me too frightened man. If I don’t pick up the conversation I will get there as well, but it is going to be a whole lot slower. Where do I need to get? My entire being and instincts changed, and I know all that needs to be done to get the maximum out of it, but narrow is the gate. It is indeed easier to push a camel through the eye of a needle. I don’t know if this would make any sense but I have experienced a wonderful journey that got dead serious in the end. It’s like I need to write blogs, books and shout it out to the people, open this box of taboos and let them out and search for responsible ways to deal with matters. I am one example of life I would like to share. My whole journey as baby, kid, teenager, adult, psychonaut, father, … is something worth talking about with a shrink. And definitely bullshit worth selling in a book lol
And things my intuition is whispering to me is not even mentionable, y’all would say I need a shrink. But others needed a shrink too whom were perfectly fine to me. Lol We’re all mad in the end, aren’t we?

I have a problem with feelings, it’s cool talking about them; until mine are exposed of course ;)
I have been through so much last years and months which had a peak last week. My feelings are quite numb. I find the above already too much to share… but maybe I need to open up and let it all out….
 

Finarfin

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to be honest I do not know what to make of your post? It a bit confusing to me.
What is this field you write about?
I understand that you experience a lot of synchronicity.
Do you feel like you are in contact with something? Are you experiencing what is called magical thinking?
 

Demahdi

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I was hoping one was. Because I wrote another text even more alienated. I am too shy to post it. The problem is, there are many things between her and me too personal to share. I am going from a to d because b and c are personal feelings and experiences.
 

Finarfin

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Demahdi a dit:
I was hoping one was. Because I wrote another text even more alienated. I am too shy to post it. The problem is, there are many things between her and me too personal to share. I am going from a to d because b and c are personal feelings and experiences.

I understand and respect that you do not want share personal feelings and information.
I know you don,t want to share your personal feelings. I know you have had a hard time and do not want to talk about this. So i will not keep asking you about it.

I think like every moment is synchronistic. It is not the synchonicity that comes in wave, it is the human awareness of synchronicity that comes in waves. It,s a state of mind. There are many ways to get into a different state of mind. There are also people who are in a different state of mind because of psychological illness. You wrote may need psychological help. I hope you do not suffer from any serious psychological illness.
I don,t realy know what to write. I just hope you take care.
 

Demahdi

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Don't worry. It isn't as bad as it sounds. ;)
It is just a heavy transformation. It's black and white becoming grey. Trinity my friend, trinity.
 

Brugmansia

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*claps* for Demadhi for just sharing how the external sensory interacts with its inner self. Which country are you from?
 

Demahdi

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Brugmansia a dit:
*claps* for Demadhi for just sharing how the external sensory interacts with its inner self. Which country are you from?

Have You ever heard of the cosmic giggle?
And I am from the BENELUX.
 

Brugmansia

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How would you describe your territory in a small summary?
 

Demahdi

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Am i being analyzed?
Have you ever heard of the cosmic giggle?

I live in my car. But this weekend we rented a one room apartment.
Now I woke up in a garden in company of a Peruvian torch.
Yesterday we looked at a 2 room apartment and we may sign a contract for 1 year to get back on my feet.
In less then 12 months I lost it all. But all I care about remains.
I live semi urban semi natural.
 

Finarfin

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Demahdi a dit:
It is just a heavy transformation. It's black and white becoming grey. Trinity my friend, trinity.

I have this book by alex grey: the mission of art. In this book he writes the story of how and why he got himself the name Grey.
Alex tells us about how on LSD he entered a tunnel of black moving to white. Moving from the extreme negative (depression) to the extreme positive. In the middle we find the grey.
Maybe grey is the balance. As a (neo) taoist i believe in the balance between black and white, male and female dark and light ect.
Taoism is not about good and evil or light against dark. It is about finding the natural balance within yourself.

Now let me tell something about my own feelings. Just like anyone else i experience highs and lows. feeling of happiness, joy and compasion, and also feelings of depression, anger and sadness.

Because of my background and history I have often felt feelings of inferiority. Feelings of not being accepted by society, and feelings of not being good enough.
While on the other hand i sometimes felt like being better then others and feeling superior to others. For me this are two ends of a spectrum. What I needed to learn was to accept myself and to have the courage to be myself without compromising .

When we take the four life positions: i am not OK you,re OK, I am OK you,re not OK, i am not OK you,re not OK, I am OK you,re OK.
I was Always going from I am not OK, you,re OK and I am not OK you,re NOT OK. I had a slightly negative outlook on myself and others.
over the years i have moves more in the direction of I am OK you,re OK. I have learned to let go of these negative thought patterns and to accept myself for who i am.

Last time i took mushrooms i (like Alex grey) had an experience of moving into a tunnel. I was lying on my back in the garden watching the evening sky. When i closed my eyes flowers appeard. i moving into a tunnel of many coloured flowers. Then i saw a form. It looked like a grey sigel with one curved line and one traight line. The curved line was the positive loving happy side of myself. The straight line was the negative depressing side. The straight line turned into a hole in my chest. A hole in my hearth where there wa only feelings of lonelyness depression and inferiority. I knew i was searching for this place, because i encountered it before. I wanted to find it and explore it to understand myself better. But now i found it i did not know what to do. I felt like running away from this feeling. However i decided it was this place i was looking for and i needed to confront it instead of running from it.
What happend next was amazing. This hole in my being was being filled with red flowers. The flowers where just pouring in like a river filling this hole with love. The love of nature and the love of plants. I realized how important my garden is to me. I realized that growing flowers and plants in my garden is very therapautic to me.


It,s my idea, deep down, we all have a hole inside ourselfs. It,s a sort of a existential fear (unease,unrest). This hole is like a open existantial question of how to give meaning and purpose to your life. People try to fill this hole. They fill it with childeren, work,drugs, drink,food, sport, religion, you name it. For me it is being in nature and gardening that gives me peace of mind. Watching my plants grow and watching my flowers bloom just fills me with great joy and happiness.
 

Finarfin

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Demahdi writes he lives in his car. I don,t know about his social situation? Living in your car is considerd by most as being homeless.
There are different types of homeless people. There are people who have become homeless because of social, financial or psychological problems. There are also people who choose to be homeless. I read have heard about least eight to ten people who choose to become homeless. They did not want to be part of (normal) society (in one way or other). I have known this guy from Australia who burned his passport and burned all his money. I read an artikle in the newspaper about an artist who left everything behind to go live in the wood, because everywhere you look in society (according to him) there is something wrong.

People who live in there car or who have no roof above there head at all, are often seen by (normal) society as bums and hobo,s. Homeless people as well as the unemployed are not high on the social ladder. I wonder what Demadhi thinks about this? And how he feels about it?

@ Demadhi: How come you live in your car, and how do you feel about it. How do you feel about your position in society, and how do you feel about society in general? What kind of social background do you have?

I have another question for you all: How do you all feel about your position in society? What is your position and outlook in life.
Is your position and status important to you? If you are employed, what is the meaning of your job? Is your job important to you, does it give you a sense of identity? Or is your job only something you do to make money?
 

Demahdi

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Well it's ok I guess, I have my daily shower, food, coffee, bud...
It's not that I am bum man, I am still part of this society. I did not choose it, but I was too stubborn to do anyting about it.

I am not sure I will answer this questions :)

Once those gates open...
33820_13_full.jpg
 

Brugmansia

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Well, having the iron chair does not depend on conquered space in the object oriented world around you.
 
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