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an attempt to realign the "Self"

pattern_req

Neurotransmetteur
Inscrit
2 Avr 2007
Messages
26
hello all,

I am a long time reader of this forum and have recently come to understand that a community such as this thrives when we all participate. I am preparing for a psychedelic journey this friday night and would like to share what I am doing with the forum.

First, a little background: I am in my late twenties and a full time college student. I have been away from the Great Medicins for some time now (over a year and a half) in an attempt to respect them as they deserve. In my youth, through missuse of street quality sacraments (mostly e), I ripped away much of my ego. At the time this is what I though I wanted. A potent experience with mushrooms near the end of this period of my life brought the LOGOS and with it the message that I had been missusing these tools. I have always been spiritual, but drugs had become a far more rereational than even I had understood. I saw myself as hollow and torn apart rather than the egoless buddha I was so striving for.

The Teacher let me know in no uncertain terms that all I had learned was semantics and name games, psychological puns and new ways of catagorizing phenomenon. I needed to seek out what is true to me, and reshape myself in this Truth's image. Then, and only then, would I be ready for the psychedelic arts once again. (I will post a full report of this experience if any are interested)

So onto the present: I am now, I believe, ready to move on with my mental alchemical studies of the myself. I now come to hallucinagens with a reverance I have never possesed for them. I take them very seriously and wish to respect the sacraments. I have been actively meditating for eight or nine months now, I eat better and respect my body. I have also been reading every bit of psychedelic literature I could get my hands on and attending varied types of religeous services.

Two weekend my sister gave me a large bag of, as she put it, "Good" mushrooms. I was hesitant at first, falling back into a patterned behavior rather than analysing myself to see if I was ready. She gave them to me anyway and as I went home, I began to realize that this is exactly what I have been eaiting for. I am in a fairly transitional period (moving, finishing this year at the university) but I have never been better mentally. I am happy, healthy, and truly enjoy every day I have here on earth. after conversing with my wife-to-be we decided that this coming friday we would partake in a mushroom experience and that it would be a positive tool for us both as we move to a new (old, I have lived here in the past many years) city.

On saturday we made a weak tea of only two grams and me and my fiancee (we'll call her "B" for now) split the concoction. The 'shrooms had been described as "visual" but I had no idea. I verbalised my intentions as I drank the brew.

"I wish to refamiliarize myself with the landscape of the trytamine realms in order to gain the most from my coming experience."

B wanted to gauge their potency and get familiar with the body effects associated with mushrooms again, it had been a while.

Onset in less than fifteen minutes. My head heavy and there was a pressure eminating from my third eye. I still had tea left in my cup at this point and was shocked at how readily my homeostasis was altered. I gulped the rest of the tea down and laid back on my bed.

Twenty minutes later i am seeing aura and the soft complex geometry of light patterning off the lamps. Upon stepping outside, the dry browns and greens of the not yet perked up grass in the back yard appeared to be flowing like water. The trees in the distance bent and swayed in softly unnatural ways and a tunnel of light emerged from the forest filling me with the unimaginable joy at creation that usually requires hours of meditation to achieve.

The effects were short lived, two hours later I was just peacefully blissed out and lost in contemplation. B only drank half of her tea and heard crickets singing to her for a half an hour. All in all these mushrooms were EXTREMELY potent, even at the one gram dosage.

My Plans for friday night: We have already cleaned our house to near spotlessness. I have been staging up a fast for a few days now. Tues - no fried foods, Wed - no prepared foods (including prepackaged anything), thur - no meat or dairy, fri - nothing but lemon water. I wish to create a no hostile invoronment for the spirit of the mushroom to inhabit. I have told B that the tv will not be on for the duration, we have planned out a musical soundscape however. I will be consuming five grams, B will consume three and a half. My verbalised intentions will be "To realign myself with the 'Self' and to truly understand my heart's goals and desires for me in this world" I hope to integrate the learnings I have made in the last year into a working, organic, spiritually being that can function within as well as without.

Just wanted to put all of this out there, any advice, comments, I'd love to hear them. I will post in this thread once I have re-integrated on saturday. Thanks for reading this, you lend my strenght by connecting with me through this new technology. About 9:00 pm EST I will commense on my pschonautical journey on the seas of the self. Any who are spiritually inclined, a prayed for my passage would be appreciated.

Peace.
 

Dantediv86

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
18 Avr 2007
Messages
2 264
sounds perfectly like the perfection of perfect...can i stress even more how impressed i am at the perfection of this plan?
I really hope it works
good vibes bro...gooooood vibes..... 8)
 

HeartCore

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
22 Août 2004
Messages
5 284
He brother,

Reading your post, I am convinced you will find what you are looking for. Dedication, respect, clear intent, go for it!

Be love ;)

Love/peace

HC
 

skoeip

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
19 Nov 2004
Messages
1 674
sounds like you are realy dedicated! i am sure the journy will be a good learning.

a prayer for you!
 

VerusDeus

Sale drogué·e
Inscrit
6 Avr 2006
Messages
914
I will be traveling with about the same intentions next sunday! so leave me a message in hyperspace :lol:

I got to say, I really admire your dedication! You're bound to have a very very good trip, enjoy!
 

Entheonaut

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
29 Mai 2006
Messages
1 076
Thanks for sharing your story with us. It seems you use mushrooms in exactly the way they should be used (imo). I hope you find what you seek in your trip. Let the shrooms guide you in their world, and they might show you some of their valued secrets :wink:

Have a nice trip, good luck and have fun!
 

pattern_req

Neurotransmetteur
Inscrit
2 Avr 2007
Messages
26
no doubt verus, I will. I will also share with you all the good vibes I have been allowing to resonate within me over the last few weeks. God, it's unreal. When I stand in the sunlight, feeling the cool New England sea breezes pass over me, I fell like a giant batter or compassitor of love. My smile feels endless. My bliss feels much like being a child, I take wonder in the small beauties of the natural and man made world. I have been working on dissolving the boundries between myself and others. As I see people in my day to day, I deign not to judge, but to understand that we are all one. To feel the connectivity we all share, not just with each other, but with all things animate and inanamite.

Being in a loving, unselfish relationship was a great key to understanding my own nature. When I was lonely, I judged myself. My broken heart became the broken heart of many. I would attempt to impress those around me in the hopes of attracting a mate. It was like putting on aires. I would emulate something I am not. B, my wife-to-be that is, was a long time friend who knew me as I was, not what I was trying to copy. And she loved me. And soon I her. And with that unquestioning, unjudging love I found that my heart chakra would bloom for her, and by extension, for all. I was a better person, she made it safe to be myself and feel what I need to feel. With an open fourth circuit, I began to make real progress as a person.

I believe that love for one person is a great way to experience love for all and love for the Self. This is why I feel the teacher will be strong within me, I had never truly understood unconditional love before. With this knowledge I hope learn, with my new reverance I hope to feel the Divine, and with my heart I hope to know the benevolence this universe has for us all. Even Terrance understood in the end that it was "All about love."

thanks again everybody, your support bolsters me. The connections we make on the internet are as real as those made by our own nerve cells. The more we share, the more beautiful and complex our creations become.
 

VerusDeus

Sale drogué·e
Inscrit
6 Avr 2006
Messages
914
Woow dude, you're deep! But seriously you just gave me some great insights man! Cause I am rather focusing on loving nature, and hating what man does to nature. Thus hating mankind a bit, but thanks to you I just realised that I have to share my love with other people as well.

Yesterday I had a girl coming over, and I didn't even want to try to love her. I hope this 'insight' enabled me to love humans more too!

And this is what this community is all about man, sharing knowledge, helping eachother out in developing higher consciousness. I LOVE IT!
 

Entheonaut

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
29 Mai 2006
Messages
1 076
pattern_req a dit:
no doubt verus, I will. I will also share with you all the good vibes I have been allowing to resonate within me over the last few weeks. God, it's unreal. When I stand in the sunlight, feeling the cool New England sea breezes pass over me, I fell like a giant batter or compassitor of love. My smile feels endless. My bliss feels much like being a child, I take wonder in the small beauties of the natural and man made world. I have been working on dissolving the boundries between myself and others. As I see people in my day to day, I deign not to judge, but to understand that we are all one. To feel the connectivity we all share, not just with each other, but with all things animate and inanamite.

Being in a loving, unselfish relationship was a great key to understanding my own nature. When I was lonely, I judged myself. My broken heart became the broken heart of many. I would attempt to impress those around me in the hopes of attracting a mate. It was like putting on aires. I would emulate something I am not. B, my wife-to-be that is, was a long time friend who knew me as I was, not what I was trying to copy. And she loved me. And soon I her. And with that unquestioning, unjudging love I found that my heart chakra would bloom for her, and by extension, for all. I was a better person, she made it safe to be myself and feel what I need to feel. With an open fourth circuit, I began to make real progress as a person.

I believe that love for one person is a great way to experience love for all and love for the Self. This is why I feel the teacher will be strong within me, I had never truly understood unconditional love before. With this knowledge I hope learn, with my new reverance I hope to feel the Divine, and with my heart I hope to know the benevolence this universe has for us all. Even Terrance understood in the end that it was "All about love."

thanks again everybody, your support bolsters me. The connections we make on the internet are as real as those made by our own nerve cells. The more we share, the more beautiful and complex our creations become.

You seem to have a good understanding of the way things work in this world... Be love, and be loved, we are all one, everything is connected :wink:

It's a good thing you joined us 8)


Peace !
 

pattern_req

Neurotransmetteur
Inscrit
2 Avr 2007
Messages
26
two hours till hyperspace, wish me luck.
 

Soulcatcher

Elfe Mécanique
Inscrit
2 Jan 2007
Messages
434
Well, i guess I'm just in time then.

I am convinced you will find what you seek.
Enjoy your trip, everything will be fine!
 

SeTyR

Glandeuse pinéale
Inscrit
26 Mai 2006
Messages
160
Hope you are flowing well with the vibes right now , good morning brother
 
G

Guest

Invité
Thank you so much for sharing all this!

pattern_req a dit:
God, it's unreal. When I stand in the sunlight, feeling the cool New England sea breezes pass over me, I fell like a giant batter or compassitor of love. My smile feels endless. My bliss feels much like being a child, I take wonder in the small beauties of the natural and man made world.

I'm also experiencing this powerful bliss, last thursday I went out for a walk in the woods with HC and his lovely partner and I was sooooo happy to be outside in the woods, beautiful weather, birds singing, so very very thankfull for every tiny particle that manifests itself in this physical dimension :heart:

I'm in love again, with life, that runs through every single atom in our physical bodies and every little shiny lightpoint of consciousness that fills our spiritual dimension.

I also admire your dedication, this is the basis of a very powerful tool to completely be who you want to be and how you want to experience life.
And thanks again for sharing all of this!

All is one and one is all.
Thank you one and thank you all!
 
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