sellahremy
Neurotransmetteur
- Inscrit
- 1 Avr 2013
- Messages
- 36
I had a trip where I interacted with a native american shaman woman. She showed me the pain of her people. It was as if the pain of the native american people had been put into one pill and I swallowed it. She was also upset at what was happening to the earth and I felt the pain of mother earth. It was a pretty sad and traumatic trip. I was going crazy, and when i woke up, the house was a mess. Furniture and decorations knocked over and scattered, my house looked like a war zone. It was the most intense experience I ever had, even more than when I took Ayahuasca in the Amazon.
This is my account of what happened
If you don't want to read it all you can just watch a video I made about it below
Several weeks ago I took about an 1/8th ounce of mushrooms. It had been the most I had taken to date and lets just say you can liken it to a ‘bad trip’. But after experiencing everything I had went through, I can’t really say it was a bad trip, but it wasn’t exactly heaven.
Although it wasn’t pleasant, it was a rude awakening into darker layers of myself and whats going on in the world. It was stuff that I needed to see. Not pointless stimuli that I couldn’t make sense of while scaring the shit out of me. It was like Ayahuasca without the blissful ending, just the hardcore wake up call aspect of it was present.
I’m not going to go over the basic effects of being on mushrooms as I have already done so in this article here. I’m going to dive right into the psychedelic mushroom experience.
After taking the mushrooms I felt quick powerful surges of electricity zapping through my legs and arms. Every zap of electricity I felt made my arms and legs twitch uncontrollably. It wasn’t a small twitch, it was a big noticeable twitch, enough to make you feel uncomfortable around me if you were in my presence. My body felt like a circuit twitching off of each electrical impulse.
During my mushroom trip, a lot of feelings that my conscious mind had swept under the rug began to resurface. They were in my face and I couldn’t dodge them. The intensity of the feeling was so much more intense than anytime I had ever felt those feelings relating to those issues before.
I have recently gone through major changes in my life. Feelings of people around me that I have separated from, activities I have postponed, responsibilities I have put procrastinated on, people I hurt in the past, relationships with family members that have been effected, a whole bunch of things I worried about before, but dealt with casually or ignored suddenly sprang up in the experience and the emotion related to it was pulsating through my body in a major way.
This was stage one of my “Bad Trip”. I was dealing with things that I needed to confront, resolve, and bring closure to. It was like a harsh “in your face” therapy session about who you are as a person and what needs to change in your life to make you a better person and live a better life. I wasn’t dealing with it one by one. Everything just resurfaced and hit me all at once with the force of a sledge hammer. I remember breathing hard during this moment.
After dealing with my personal issues I began to feel this strong pull from the core of my body. It felt like I was imploding. I couldn’t control it and I began to panic. It was like my body was being crammed into a mouse hole. It was like that scene in Alien Resurrection where Riply’s half human half Alien child was being sucked into the vacuum of space through a tiny whole. That’s what my body felt like. While it felt like I was imploding, I remember my body going into a fetal position, making myself smaller and smaller. My chest was getting heavy as it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest and crushing it. Still, this wasn’t the worst of it.
After the implosion experience, I began to feel the presence of another community. They were angry and I could feel the anger of many people flowing through my body. I tried opening my eyes to snap out of the visuals but it wasn’t working, I kept feeling the anger more intensely. I feel out of my bed and landed on the floor. A strong presence I felt was an older Native American woman. I also felt the presence of a community of Native people she was with, but she was the most prominent presence I felt. It was a very motherly energy being felt, but none the less I still felt her anger and sadness. It was as if her feelings were being channeled through me. I was feeling what she was feeling even though I had nothing to do with what made her angry and sad in the first place.
I began saying out loud “The Natives are Angry, The Natives are Angry!”
My girlfriend kept asking me whats wrong. I replied, “This Native woman won’t leave me alone!” I felt my legs being grabbed from behind. I immediately grabbed the legs of my night stand with both hands like a child who doesn’t want to be dragged to his room.
“She won’t leave me alone” I kept yelling.
I began to feel pain and misery of many people being channeled through me. I started crying and screaming. It was as if the pain and suffering of hundreds of years of the entire Native community had been crammed into one pill,….. and I had just swallowed it.
It wasn’t like watching an A&E documentary about how the Natives got their land stolen from them, millions killed, boarding school abuse, children separated from their families and forced to abandon their traditions, and anything else they endured. It was a virtual reality simulation of experiencing Native people go through some F*cked up shit.
I remember seeing a masss exodus of Native American people. I could feel their fear and anger about their situation.
While this was going on I was also feeling a wrenching feeling in my stomach that travelled to my spine. My body was like a wet towel being twisted to squeeze the water out. All you could hear from me was the most gut wrenching anguish deformed cry for help and screaming as I was losing control of my mind and body.
I could see and FEEL that the anger, sadness, and disappointment of the older Native woman was caused by people losing their land, dying, and being forced to live on reservations. She was upset at the problems encountered by many Native American families of today with regard to alcohol abuse and family abuse. She felt like her culture was slipping away and she was forcing me to see all of this. But she not only forced me to see why she and her community are angry, she forced me to see what she was trying to preserve. She felt as if the good qualities of her people had been overlooked and underappreciated. She started showing me what she felt was the characteristics of being apart of the Native American culture.
She seemed to be trying to show this to me in a hurry, as if time was running out. If you have ever made a time capsule when you were a kid, you likely put the best stuff inside it that represents who you are. It was like she was making a time capsule. Desperately trying to preserve everything that is pure about her culture.
The old woman was not only angry at the oppressors who put her people in this position but she was also upset at her own people. Not the kind of upset that a boss would have about an expendable employee, but the kind of upset that a loving mother would have about her child who lost his/her way. She felt as if many of her children (her people, the Native American diaspora) lost touch with their roots and are no longer concerned with preserving the culture and traditions. She was disappointed with the conflicts that happen on the reservation with regard to family life.
Everytime I tried to get up I would lose control of my body and fall down to the floor again. I remember dragging my body across the floor with my arms while the rest of my body remained inept.
I tried to go downstairs but since I couldn’t walk I dragged my body and sort of slithered down the stairs like a snake. In my mind my body was like honey slowly oozing down the stairs relying heavily on gravity for assistance because my motor skills were almost completely knocked out by the mushrooms.
Once I got downstairs I laid on the floor on my back. My arms and my legs would move erratically with no concern for what may have been in my way, leaving downstairs a complete mess.
I eventually crawled back upstairs feeling this presence of power that was gonna strike me down. I had my one hand up in a defensive “please don’t hurt me” posture, while the other hand was helping me crawl up the stairs.
I felt that wrenching feeling going through my body several times over again. Upstairs I continued to crash into objects and knock down furniture.
I was laying on the floor in the bedroom and my leg was beating to the sound of a vivid Native American drum pattern in my mind. My leg was hitting the ground repeatedly beating to the rhythm of the drum, loud enough that I think the neighbors heard. The banging of the drums eventually became softer and more frequent. As this was happening I felt like I was vibrating at a higher frequency.
The wrenching feeling came back, and back…. and back again.
I then saw an image of a young Native girl in a canoe hunting salmon, She couldn’t hunt the salmon because the lake was polluted by oil. I got up and yelled out several times “All she wants is salmon but the oil has ruined the water!” I kept chanting this several times out loud.
The old Native woman was upset about what people are doing to the earth especially with regard to Native lands. She said the earth is hurting.
I fell to the floor and felt the wrenching feeling again.
I yelled out “I get it! You don’t have to keep showing meeeeeeee!!!! Arrrrrgh….!!!”
My girlfriend told me to pull it together and ground myself in positivity. Some of it broke through to me. I was able to walk down the stairs at this point. Accessing the damage, overwhelmed by the mess I made. But I wasn’t home yet. I would slip in and out of my “trip” experience. As I was coming down I had this sense of “we are done with you….. now go…. Safe travels..” feeling from the natives.
It was as if my consciousness was being gently pushed from behind by a bunch of hands gently pushing me forward. Pushing me into the dessert as the sun sets. I was now wandering the dessert alone, walking toward the sunset, and the Sun was my mind. I was coming down from the trip and walking back to my mind.
“Thank you for listening, now go..” That is all I could feel.
P.S. I am not trying to speak on behalf of the Native American community and tell them how to live their lives. Nor was I trying to perpetuate a stereotype of Native Americans as alcoholics and dysfunctional people. I am just expressing my account of what happened to me, what I saw, and expressing the sentient energy that was channeled through me. Thats all. I hope no one was offended.
This is my account of what happened
If you don't want to read it all you can just watch a video I made about it below
Several weeks ago I took about an 1/8th ounce of mushrooms. It had been the most I had taken to date and lets just say you can liken it to a ‘bad trip’. But after experiencing everything I had went through, I can’t really say it was a bad trip, but it wasn’t exactly heaven.
Although it wasn’t pleasant, it was a rude awakening into darker layers of myself and whats going on in the world. It was stuff that I needed to see. Not pointless stimuli that I couldn’t make sense of while scaring the shit out of me. It was like Ayahuasca without the blissful ending, just the hardcore wake up call aspect of it was present.
I’m not going to go over the basic effects of being on mushrooms as I have already done so in this article here. I’m going to dive right into the psychedelic mushroom experience.
After taking the mushrooms I felt quick powerful surges of electricity zapping through my legs and arms. Every zap of electricity I felt made my arms and legs twitch uncontrollably. It wasn’t a small twitch, it was a big noticeable twitch, enough to make you feel uncomfortable around me if you were in my presence. My body felt like a circuit twitching off of each electrical impulse.
During my mushroom trip, a lot of feelings that my conscious mind had swept under the rug began to resurface. They were in my face and I couldn’t dodge them. The intensity of the feeling was so much more intense than anytime I had ever felt those feelings relating to those issues before.
I have recently gone through major changes in my life. Feelings of people around me that I have separated from, activities I have postponed, responsibilities I have put procrastinated on, people I hurt in the past, relationships with family members that have been effected, a whole bunch of things I worried about before, but dealt with casually or ignored suddenly sprang up in the experience and the emotion related to it was pulsating through my body in a major way.
This was stage one of my “Bad Trip”. I was dealing with things that I needed to confront, resolve, and bring closure to. It was like a harsh “in your face” therapy session about who you are as a person and what needs to change in your life to make you a better person and live a better life. I wasn’t dealing with it one by one. Everything just resurfaced and hit me all at once with the force of a sledge hammer. I remember breathing hard during this moment.
After dealing with my personal issues I began to feel this strong pull from the core of my body. It felt like I was imploding. I couldn’t control it and I began to panic. It was like my body was being crammed into a mouse hole. It was like that scene in Alien Resurrection where Riply’s half human half Alien child was being sucked into the vacuum of space through a tiny whole. That’s what my body felt like. While it felt like I was imploding, I remember my body going into a fetal position, making myself smaller and smaller. My chest was getting heavy as it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest and crushing it. Still, this wasn’t the worst of it.
After the implosion experience, I began to feel the presence of another community. They were angry and I could feel the anger of many people flowing through my body. I tried opening my eyes to snap out of the visuals but it wasn’t working, I kept feeling the anger more intensely. I feel out of my bed and landed on the floor. A strong presence I felt was an older Native American woman. I also felt the presence of a community of Native people she was with, but she was the most prominent presence I felt. It was a very motherly energy being felt, but none the less I still felt her anger and sadness. It was as if her feelings were being channeled through me. I was feeling what she was feeling even though I had nothing to do with what made her angry and sad in the first place.
I began saying out loud “The Natives are Angry, The Natives are Angry!”
My girlfriend kept asking me whats wrong. I replied, “This Native woman won’t leave me alone!” I felt my legs being grabbed from behind. I immediately grabbed the legs of my night stand with both hands like a child who doesn’t want to be dragged to his room.
“She won’t leave me alone” I kept yelling.
I began to feel pain and misery of many people being channeled through me. I started crying and screaming. It was as if the pain and suffering of hundreds of years of the entire Native community had been crammed into one pill,….. and I had just swallowed it.
It wasn’t like watching an A&E documentary about how the Natives got their land stolen from them, millions killed, boarding school abuse, children separated from their families and forced to abandon their traditions, and anything else they endured. It was a virtual reality simulation of experiencing Native people go through some F*cked up shit.
I remember seeing a masss exodus of Native American people. I could feel their fear and anger about their situation.
While this was going on I was also feeling a wrenching feeling in my stomach that travelled to my spine. My body was like a wet towel being twisted to squeeze the water out. All you could hear from me was the most gut wrenching anguish deformed cry for help and screaming as I was losing control of my mind and body.
I could see and FEEL that the anger, sadness, and disappointment of the older Native woman was caused by people losing their land, dying, and being forced to live on reservations. She was upset at the problems encountered by many Native American families of today with regard to alcohol abuse and family abuse. She felt like her culture was slipping away and she was forcing me to see all of this. But she not only forced me to see why she and her community are angry, she forced me to see what she was trying to preserve. She felt as if the good qualities of her people had been overlooked and underappreciated. She started showing me what she felt was the characteristics of being apart of the Native American culture.
She seemed to be trying to show this to me in a hurry, as if time was running out. If you have ever made a time capsule when you were a kid, you likely put the best stuff inside it that represents who you are. It was like she was making a time capsule. Desperately trying to preserve everything that is pure about her culture.
The old woman was not only angry at the oppressors who put her people in this position but she was also upset at her own people. Not the kind of upset that a boss would have about an expendable employee, but the kind of upset that a loving mother would have about her child who lost his/her way. She felt as if many of her children (her people, the Native American diaspora) lost touch with their roots and are no longer concerned with preserving the culture and traditions. She was disappointed with the conflicts that happen on the reservation with regard to family life.
Everytime I tried to get up I would lose control of my body and fall down to the floor again. I remember dragging my body across the floor with my arms while the rest of my body remained inept.
I tried to go downstairs but since I couldn’t walk I dragged my body and sort of slithered down the stairs like a snake. In my mind my body was like honey slowly oozing down the stairs relying heavily on gravity for assistance because my motor skills were almost completely knocked out by the mushrooms.
Once I got downstairs I laid on the floor on my back. My arms and my legs would move erratically with no concern for what may have been in my way, leaving downstairs a complete mess.
I eventually crawled back upstairs feeling this presence of power that was gonna strike me down. I had my one hand up in a defensive “please don’t hurt me” posture, while the other hand was helping me crawl up the stairs.
I felt that wrenching feeling going through my body several times over again. Upstairs I continued to crash into objects and knock down furniture.
I was laying on the floor in the bedroom and my leg was beating to the sound of a vivid Native American drum pattern in my mind. My leg was hitting the ground repeatedly beating to the rhythm of the drum, loud enough that I think the neighbors heard. The banging of the drums eventually became softer and more frequent. As this was happening I felt like I was vibrating at a higher frequency.
The wrenching feeling came back, and back…. and back again.
I then saw an image of a young Native girl in a canoe hunting salmon, She couldn’t hunt the salmon because the lake was polluted by oil. I got up and yelled out several times “All she wants is salmon but the oil has ruined the water!” I kept chanting this several times out loud.
The old Native woman was upset about what people are doing to the earth especially with regard to Native lands. She said the earth is hurting.
I fell to the floor and felt the wrenching feeling again.
I yelled out “I get it! You don’t have to keep showing meeeeeeee!!!! Arrrrrgh….!!!”
My girlfriend told me to pull it together and ground myself in positivity. Some of it broke through to me. I was able to walk down the stairs at this point. Accessing the damage, overwhelmed by the mess I made. But I wasn’t home yet. I would slip in and out of my “trip” experience. As I was coming down I had this sense of “we are done with you….. now go…. Safe travels..” feeling from the natives.
It was as if my consciousness was being gently pushed from behind by a bunch of hands gently pushing me forward. Pushing me into the dessert as the sun sets. I was now wandering the dessert alone, walking toward the sunset, and the Sun was my mind. I was coming down from the trip and walking back to my mind.
“Thank you for listening, now go..” That is all I could feel.
P.S. I am not trying to speak on behalf of the Native American community and tell them how to live their lives. Nor was I trying to perpetuate a stereotype of Native Americans as alcoholics and dysfunctional people. I am just expressing my account of what happened to me, what I saw, and expressing the sentient energy that was channeled through me. Thats all. I hope no one was offended.
