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Horrific 2ci trip. Please just talk to me.

Irbreadslave

Matrice périnatale
Inscrit
17 Jan 2012
Messages
14
So, I was lied and given 2ci. I was told it was something else..I won't go into too much detail, but I will say that I tripped for over 24 hours. I completely lost my mind. I watched my skin melt off. I saw and felt spidereverywhere. Nothing was a solid. For the last oh...I guess 12 hours of the trip everything was just dirty and scary. I heard this wind...and I felt something in my body truing to come out..everything got bright and I watched the room get sucked into a vortex if nothing....over and over and over.....

This was eight months ago... I'm still not right. I still feel trippy as lot. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't sleep. I'm so depressed because I know I can't enjoy my life like this. I'm always having what the drs call anxiety attacks. I just want to be normal..I didn't ask for this. Will it ever go away?
 

BrainEater

Banni
Inscrit
21 Juil 2007
Messages
5 922
you just need to calm down and stay calm. it won't help you to drive yourself mad even more, after what you went through. to me it seems you experienced a non-physical (mental) aspect of reality and yourself, which coincidentally or so
appeared to be a overly negative energy or so. maybe you have suppressed some emotions in some form (energy) in the past
and the energy was catalyzed throuch your mind-body-soul connection. i think it boils down to that in your experience, reality appeared to be like a bad dream. the point i am trying to make here, is that in my opinion, the lack of control of your own thoughts has let you make experience a place in yourself that you obviously wouldn't have preferred to have experienced in the first place. it's like it seems that you didn't prepare well enough for the trip and/or care for the most important factors like set and setting. a common mistake in people who don't have so much experience with psychedelic drugs + trips. nothing to worry about or so, but just to take care of... a matter of self-responsability. however i assume you may have learned your lesson .. lol :p .. ;)

so what can you do?? i would say just don't worry... you experienced something negative, but you still have a chance to learn a lot from that about yourself. maybe but only maybe it could be also that you experienced the energy from someone else in you.
but then again at least in my view after a while or so when people do that it's like the energy becomes their own energy.
it's then like a transpersonal manifestation of energy. something like that lol...
as far as i know if you're in a overpsyched mode of thinking/perceiving/feeling it can help to just focus on breathing to relax and let the thoughts just drift by... observe yourself when you feel confident, but until then and especially when the thoughts try to take over control too much and/or in a unwanted way or whatnot just focus on breathing and progressive relaxation
(do stuff that helps you to relax)...just do what feels good to YOU!!! sometimes a few slow and deep breaths and some holding of the breath if that helps and breathing out slowy, feel the energy... i guess somewhat try to keep the natural connection to your own inner being and don't give strange fears any power and observe yourself in that regard...
be careful when your mind tries to fool you and why it seems that it appears to do stuff like that. basically it's like you should have control over your mind and not it over you, hence sometimes it appears that it tries to plays tricks on us in the question of who we are.. it can be a great opportunity though.. maybe it means symbollically or so that you need to activate your brain... there are some important glands in the brain of which the function can make a great difference/are important. maybe you heard of stuff like activating your third eye... there is lots of material and information for doing something like that if you want that and if you want to get deeper into what really happened to you or so... maybe you thought subconsciously you were in a bad movie and it just played out like that but yeah i can only speculate lol... but i would say only do that if you are sure you can confront it or so.... i hope you get what i am trying to say... it's only my speculation ok...
maybe meet a friend to talk to or so that can help you to cool down and relax to drop the crazy "feeling" and the fear of that kinda shit... sometimes company can help if you're in such a "out-of-control" state....
take it easy but with care.. :)


peace
 

IJesusChrist

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
22 Juil 2008
Messages
7 482
Wow this seems to becoming a popular trend!!

Hard answer: no, it is not going to just "go away" one day. You're not going to simply forget it happened. That should make you feel pretty damn shitty right now.

And here is why.

What you're in right now is a depressed state. (yah - you coulda told me that). This trip you had was so monumental to your brain structure you're not going to be able to simply forget about it. So get that notion out the door.

The easy answer is in time, you'll figure your path out. (millionth time I've said this, but) I've been there. After a year I still struggled. After two fucking years I still had nights where I'd have a panic attack. I don't want to scare you - after the first year it came only about once every 2 or 3 months. Stuck around for a day or two, then I was 'normal'. I'm now about 5 or 6 years down the road (I Think 5) and I'm doing fine. I can handle more anxiety than the normal person, I know how to calm myself in nearly every situation, I am about as easy going as they come. This came after many readings on psychology and the brain (not the bull shit kind of books - the real helpful ones), and meditation, and a lot lot lot of insight.

I can smoke weed now, I can take LSD, I can take shrooms now. I've felt immense amounts of love and happiness. I had blissful days - the whole day awesome.

The internal conversation I wish you'd change to is "Alright - this is going to be fucking tough, but this guy knows, I'll be fine".

And you really wanna know whats odd? I'm extremely glad I had a horrifying trip. It took me about 2 years to finally say that, but I do. :D

I'll be here for you - we all will.
 

EewDefining

Glandeuse pinéale
Inscrit
31 Déc 2011
Messages
142
I could say something cheesey like "what doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger." but umbrella ideas never worked for me. It takes time. I had a simillar trip with spiders, and then the wind. It all fades, just try and keep your mind and heart open.

Think about new ideas, unrelated, and love people places and things. Focus on real issues, like cleaning your apartment, making better grades, meeting new people. Struggle isn't a bad thing, you just need to struggle with whats real. :roll:
 

Sticki

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
13 Sept 2007
Messages
1 362
Sounds like you had some Bromo-dragonfly or DOx?

What is it that stands in the way of you accepting your trip as experience, learning from it and moving on?

Why do you feel like you do?

I leave you with a quote by Rene Descartes "Cogito ergo sum" - In English "I Think, Therefore I am" 8)
 

Irbreadslave

Matrice périnatale
Inscrit
17 Jan 2012
Messages
14
sorry it has taken me so long to reply.
and thanks for even replying. sometimes its good just to have someone that can relate...and i feel like no one else around me can. i think i might be thinking on it too much.
just wasnt expecting it.
ive tripped before. they were always really great experiences. nothing too extreme. always over after 8 hours.
I wouldnt have even taken it had iknown. iwas lied to by some shit bag that moved towns.

my keyboard is sticvking realy bad. its reallly hard to type.

does anyone else have extreme sensitivity to lights and colours after their bad trip? and certain temperatures make you feel like
you're triippppiiiiiing out?
 

IJesusChrist

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
22 Juil 2008
Messages
7 482
Irbreadslave a dit:
does anyone else have extreme sensitivity to lights and colours after their bad trip? and certain temperatures make you feel like
you're triippppiiiiiing out?
You won't believe this but that is all in your head. Literally.

Do you get headaches or are you just sensitive to light? Certain patterns on walls make me trip out. Certain words make me trip out. Certain memories make me trip out. Certain songs or phrases or quotes make me trip out.

In essence - everything makes me trip out if I'm setting myself up for it!
 

Irbreadslave

Matrice périnatale
Inscrit
17 Jan 2012
Messages
14
Yes! Certain words do this to me..and like..especially when I see anyone do something very stupid. It makes me feel like I'm getting lost again. Sometimes I can't stand it because I get the sensation that my brain is being wrapped in a balloon tour material and that someone is rubbing it really hard...you know that squeaky sound it makes that's awful? That's how iFEEL sometimes and I can't stand it. Ugh. I tried to quit smoking, but I think that makes the crazy feelings worse. So I'll wait to quit when my mind stops over driving itself. I'm on an anti anxiety medication, but I don't like relying on a crutch. It hastopped me from grinding my teeth though. Again sorry for multiple typos
 

EewDefining

Glandeuse pinéale
Inscrit
31 Déc 2011
Messages
142
Your post seems pretty solid. You must be doing something right. Try and find a place of zen. This is what i did when i was younger, i had migraines with sensitivity to light and sounds. The doctor never could figure out what cause them but i dont get them but once a year if that any more.

P.S. I would also go into a dark quite room for some peace, but that may only work for migraines.
 

IJesusChrist

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
22 Juil 2008
Messages
7 482
Well, at this point, since you're posting on here and you seem to be stabilized, for lack of a more appealing term, you're going to be fine. It will take a while until you realize this experience was a gift, rather than a curse, but it will come. One day :wink:
 

ophiuchus

Holofractale de l'hypervérité
Inscrit
14 Nov 2006
Messages
4 530
over-sensitivity can be debilitating/demotivating, i know what you mean. back in my early teens i experimented with some things that made even my most comfortable clothes seem like that of sandpaper... i felt dirty. just generally uncomfortable in my skin.

time will help you adapt to this change in perception, no doubt. the best thing you can do in the mean-time is work out the kinks slowly and systematically, comfortably, rather than trying to change everything at once. maybe try to gradually increase the amount of time you spend outside during the middle of the day. or if this is too intense, try early or later when it's a little darker out, then work your way up to either more time or brighter sun. this will help some, but even with this, indoor lighting will possibly still seem very weird. for me it still does, it's less noticeable now however i always feel the unnatural colors to be off-putting. i'd much rather be outside.

i feel something should be said about the smoking as well. i dont know how long you've been smoking, but i smoked for about 5 years, and 2 1/2 was me trying to quit. it is by far the hardest habit to quit, because it is engineered that way. i would worry more about the more readily changeable variables before i tried to tackle something as big as smoking, especially if ones sensory perception is very intense atm, ones awareness of the cravings would be extraordinary. if it is truly your will, it will happen. :)
 

Vt-K

Matrice périnatale
Inscrit
3 Mai 2012
Messages
4
Irbreadslave a dit:
So, I was lied and given 2ci. I was told it was something else..I won't go into too much detail, but I will say that I tripped for over 24 hours. I completely lost my mind. I watched my skin melt off. I saw and felt spidereverywhere. Nothing was a solid. For the last oh...I guess 12 hours of the trip everything was just dirty and scary. I heard this wind...and I felt something in my body truing to come out..everything got bright and I watched the room get sucked into a vortex if nothing....over and over and over.....

This was eight months ago... I'm still not right. I still feel trippy as lot. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't sleep. I'm so depressed because I know I can't enjoy my life like this. I'm always having what the drs call anxiety attacks. I just want to be normal..I didn't ask for this. Will it ever go away?

I have a few questions and some answers I feel like you won't like, but if you look them in the face and take them head on I feel majority of your weaknesses will become opportunities for profound wisdom, strength and love!

Why did you want to take a psychedelic substance? Have you ever taken such a medicine before? Who were you going to be with?

While you answer those, I am VERY big into dreams.

Spiders weave a web - a beautiful, intricate trap to catch it's prey. As such, spiders are associated with manipulation. Depending on the rest of the dream, the spider may indicate that the dreamer is being manipulated or that the dreamer is the manipulator.

You say you saw spiders? Well this may or may not be 100% accurate but I could see some validation. Spiders in dreams often mean many things, in this aspect spiders are obviously being portrayed as scary, or as a threat. You are afraid of them. In situations where a person experiences a nightmare involving spiders, it could be symbolically expressing that the dreamer must take charge to come to terms with their fear. The key in understanding if this is the case, is to fix what the problem is outside of your dreams. The dreamer should ask themselves, 'Where in my life am I being manipulated or manipulating others?' and resolve that.

What about the wind?

Wind is an omnipotent force of nature with the ability to create power gusts and storms. It has the power to move things and change the dynamics of the Earth. To dream about wind may be reflective of the time in your current awake self. You feel that time is swiftly passing by just like the phrase, “gone with the wind.” Since time is brisk as the wind, you wish it can slow down and let you take a breather. There are some tasks you want to do, but is not able to do due to the limited amount of time. In situations like this, try to manage your time better so you can make the most of your precious and limited time.

Dreaming of wind may also suggest that certain elements of your life are modified and fluctuations are in place due to the shifting powers of wind. This force of nature may symbolize vitality as well, for it is the very air contained in the wind that we breathe in.

On the other hand, wind is a fragment of Mother Earth that we as humans have no control over. To dream of wind suggests that certain things and situations are out of control and we have no power to change it. Envisioning a squall or storms with surging winds in your dream can be equivalent to the problems and stress you face when you are awake. Although certain situations may be out of your hand, you can try to make the most out of it and not give up.


The more I read your post, I definitely feel like you are running away and avoiding a constant nagging problem in your life. This chip has been eating at you daily and its no wonder you are a complete mess. you have things bundled up from MONTHSSS ago! This is beautiful. I hope you think about some of these things I have mentioned because I feel like if you take a couple days to yourself and examine yourself from the inside out, you will know what to do. follow that gut instinct, I dont think it has ever failed anyone before.

I find it amazing that no one has commented on the fact that you said YOU FELT LIKE SOMETHING WAS TRYING TO COME OUT...HELLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOO!?!!?! :D what do you think this means!?? it means something was trying to tell you LOOK AT WHAT YOUR DOING!!! A bad trip is nothing more than the drug showing them wisdom and giving instruction. Inexperienced trippers dont understand how to embrace this love and understanding. When you undergo a trip the first thing to hit you is alllllll of your problems that we have put onto ourself. As a inexperienced user, they are not prepared. The shit is scary BECAUSE....well all the shit that they are doing is scary! Its the inability to embrace and ACCEPT, which Id say is 99% of why 'bad trips' occur anyway. Thats what evil does. It hides, it runs, it does anything it can to drag you down and keep you there. When evil hears or sees wisdom, it violently lashes out because it knows whatever the love and wisdom comes in contact with, it will certainly and indefinitely lose its grips on whatever it is. Love is the almighty. Love is stronger than anything. You are filled very much with hate, sadness, fear... but not anymore. you ARE going to take action and better your life.

Oh, and, I have been on these forums for 3 months now, and I have never made an account. I felt something pushing me to create an account and type this after I read your post.

<3 :D
 

Vt-K

Matrice périnatale
Inscrit
3 Mai 2012
Messages
4
the drug did not magically make everything screwed up. the drug is you. someone posted earlier "I THINK, therefore I. A.M" i live by this quote. you were definitely just as fucked the day you took the chemical. Probably IS why you took the chemical. this trip offered you GRAND wisdom but instead your addictions and fears held you back, because that is exactly what you are doing to yourself. Let me know how things go ASAP i am very interested in hearing what you find
 

lordsoze

Neurotransmetteur
Inscrit
15 Jan 2012
Messages
20
You will be fine it just takes some time. Read my post on my recovery from the trip.
 

ThePsychonauticOne

Neurotransmetteur
Inscrit
7 Avr 2012
Messages
30
You just slight disturbed your conscience, possibly by the alarming sensation from being tricked into taking it. Just relax and think of things naturally as you would throughout the day. Take time to think about things you do during the day. Eventually your discomforts will vanish. If it makes you feel better, remember, this is an issue which is purely mental. With a little mental willpower you will settle fine!
 

lordsoze

Neurotransmetteur
Inscrit
15 Jan 2012
Messages
20
ThePsychonauticOne is absolutely right. Just find something to keep your mind occupied. That helps alot. Like pick up a class or a new hobby. Also talk with a counselor.
 
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