7/9/14:
First experience with Salvia Divinorum, using a concentrated tincture; approximately 4-5 dropper-fills combined with warm water as directed on brochure.
It took approx. 5-10 minutes for the effects to begin. Within 15 minutes I was completely immersed into the experience. I was alone in my home. I started by sitting up on couch. The first dose I timed at 4 minutes and swallowed. It began with feeling a sense of oneness and diffuseness in such a way that the second dose of the tincture that I was holding in my mouth started to merge with my mind in so that I was able to hold it in my mouth for a long time without swallowing. However, I focused on my breathing with the intent of eventually swallowing the second dose. Thru force of will I took third dose at which point it was a similar to that of being on Nitrous. A phone call from my wife interrupted the journey. Since I was not as coherent verbally as usual, she questioned further. I said I was napping and would talk later. She sounded suspicious. I proceeded to lie down on the bed. The sound of my computer from the other room was also more of an interruption. I now realize how important the environment is when doing such a session.
There was a fluidness to my visual field. I could see folds of patterns (like the scales of a fish or snake skin or peacock feather designs) in multiple rows moving upon themselves. The color was more earth tones of browns. The visuals were somewhat mild and I was not too concerned about the visuals anyway. The quality of the sound and vibration I was experiencing reminded me of Nitrous gas and other potentially dangerous inhalants I used as a teenager with a similar inner voice. At first I sensed another presence, possibly female but then realized it was likely another aspect of my own consciousness, either my ego or possibly my higher self, not completely sure. It felt like a familiar state of mind, probably from long sessions of nitrous at the dentist. The difference was that during dental work, I would have to keep my eyes slightly opened, which grounded me to the physical plan. That inner voice was kind of congratulating me or welcoming me back or saying something to the effect that I finally made it to the Salvia dimension, almost as if I had earned the right to experience this. Fortunately, I have had other deep meditative sessions, out-of-body experiences in the past and a bit of self-talk has been a part of past drug experiences. A sense of a childhood memory crept in and it was a similar feeling and quality as when I was on my second acid trip with a strong dose of microdot in 1977. I was 17 years of age then.
It then began to feel like I was more into a dream state as long as I kept my eyes closed. The sense of being in a bardo region or temporary dimension where you pass thru when about to die came into my awareness. I could feel my thoughts firmly that I was not ready to move forward past the borders of death, even though I felt like I had that option. I had too many loose ends and did not want to leave any of my loved ones grieving. I simply was not finished with my business here on the physical plane….and I reminded myself of that a few times.
I had to get up and use the bathroom, which I did as quickly. The feeling of standing over the toilet reminded me of my LSD trip when I was 17. I staggered a little but made my way back to the bed without incident. It was important to get comfortable and that feeling was a reminder about the importance of comfort when approaching the final days of our physical existence in this lifetime. I also felt the urgency to keep my life in good order and everything on the physical plane such as my home and other physical belongings ingood condition so when I do pass or translate, it would be as smooth a transition as possible for myself and for those I leave behind. I was also aware of mucous building in the back of my throat and was aware that physical discomfort was also a deterrent to moving peacefully and easily past this temporary dimension. I was keenly aware that I was in this bardo region, this in-between dimension with a slight pull or suction to go deeper and move further away from physical reality, that was just a split second away by me simply opening up my eyes (if I chose to). My inner vision was simply the home I was currently in and I could feel the pull, kind of backwards, with the imagery of my home falling somewhat into the distance. There was a faint memory of being a teenager in the home I grew up in but not much happened. The karma there was cleared quite well. Not much else came up mentally. I would occasionally flex my feet or stretch my arms over my head to stay grounded and keep my attention still somewhat on this physical reality, not wanting to go too far, be pulled backwards and lose the connection from the physical dimension. Aside from the sensation of being there, in this twilight hypnogogic dimension, not much else occurred. I was a little paranoid that my wife and daughter would arrive home and discover me somewhat in a stupor. That was just poor timing on my part. My mind felt clear for the most part (probably as a result of many years of meditation and just keeping my life relatively simple and uncomplicated). I would get up, walk around briefly and lay back down again. I went right back into the same state. Gradually, I started to get somewhat bored with just staying in this state. It was not a particularly pleasant or happy place to hang around. I would get up again and realized I was pretty much over the peak of the experience. It wore off pretty fast but has stayed with me for a day or so as I finish documenting this on July 10, 2014.
