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200ug / 300ug / 450ug / 1000 ug - I saw the matrix !?

haxmail

Matrice périnatale
Inscrit
15 Juin 2020
Messages
10
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]I used Google Translate. Sorry for the mistakes[/font]​

MULTIPLE TRIP REPORT:  [font=Sniglet, sans-serif]200 ug / 300 ug / 450 ug / 1000 ug[/font]

[font=Sniglet, sans-serif]Please, read all! [/font]

[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]Hello! I am 44 years old, 190cm[/font][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif] 105kg [/font][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif] I am a teacher and I use acid strictly for spiritual purposes. - [/font][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]I do not know it was LSD or 1pLSD... Surely the blotters has no taste at all and the dosage was right.[/font]

February 18, 2020

[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]I came in contact with the acid for the first time this year, starting with microdoses ... A total of 2 months. Microdosing that I interrupted when I made the first trip. Absolutely all the trips were made in the forest and the distance between them was 2 weeks to eliminate tolerance.[/font]


[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]April 13, 2020 [/font][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]The first trip, 200 ug[/font]

[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]trip made with a good friend. Trip in which I realized that everything I did in life was wrong ... and that I wasted my time and how selfish I am.. Otherwise, I admired for the first time how fascinating nature is. I was overwhelmed with love and admiration for everything around me. I hugged the trees and I had tears in my eyes, actually feeling the life, the energy circulating in them ... I could hardly speak being overwhelmed by emotions, always feeling a hand pressing on my neck.[/font]

[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]30.apryl.2020 [/font][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]Second trip, 300 ug. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]Trip made with the same friend, trip in which I made with ecstasy and joy, shouting that I am beautiful! That I know who I am and how beautiful I am; (I always had a problem with that) ... how beautiful we humans are, because I realized that those visuals I have with my eyes closed are us ... an awakening trip, a trip in which I grew up self-esteem. I felt some wrong things in me fix themselves. I tried not to be fascinated but just to be focused. Trip in which I was for the first time extremely conscious and connected. I had diluted and felt that I was in another dimension. It was a very beautiful trip that I ended with breathing and meditation exercises, in which I watched the sunset on the bank of a river, barefoot on the sand.[/font]

[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]14.may.2020 [/font][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]The third trip 450 ug. [/font]

[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]Trip made alone in the forest ... I was 100% convinced that it would be a Bad Trip. I was a little stressed and slightly depressed. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]But, the big surprise! It was a successful trip, in which the visuals were strong with the eyes open, in which I could see the cells of the tree under their bark, the bark that had become translucent; I saw circuits on the phone screen. Everything trembled in an infinite palette of colors at dizzying speeds, but I had an unprecedented lucidity ... I was in a completely different world, in a different universe. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]It was a trip of celebration, I hugged the trees, trees with which I felt there was a connection; I listened to music in headphones and danced with indescribable joy in the forest. Forest that enjoys with me. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]I was happy as a child, I was a child. [/font]

[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]!!! Following the microdosing and these 3 trips, I noticed a change in my behavior: the depression from the divorce diminished enormously and I got rid of the pornography addiction (if before I watched almost daily and masturbated as many times, now, after 3 months and half, +100 days, I don't know if I've watched 10-12 times porn movies! And if before I was looking for the strangest and most perverse images and situations, now I'm excited about simple and normal things. A lot of sexually explicit jokes, even though I had friends who told me it wasn't okay, I knew that too, but I just couldn't change. Another remarkable positive is that I often argued with "People in my head. And the quarrels lasted. I was doing all sorts of scenarios, how they would respond and what I would answer, manipulating me and stressing me out. Acid helped me enormously and in this case, making me aware." As soon as I started doing this, a few sec where, I was saying to myself: hey! What are you doing? And I leave things alone by turning my attention to the present.[/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif] The last change, I quit smoking weed. I do not need it anymore, it make me feel stupid and I was making bad jokes with sexual connotations again, fortunately only when I'm high. So, fuck the weed. It is a verry good med, I love becouse help many people, but it is not good for my brain. [/font]

[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]01.June.2020 The 4th trip 1000 ug ... Hero trip as some call it.[/font]


[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]9:00 ... 5 x[/font][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif] 200ug   v[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif][size=large]erry potent [/font][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]tabs[/font],  that had no taste. [/font][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif] Dissolved in the mouth for 20 minutes on an empty stomach. [/font][/size]

[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]After another 20 minutes it took effect. So hard that I barely tied the hammock. Everything revolved around me, everything wormed in an infinite palette of colors, and organic patterns. I barely managed to get in the hammock. Everything was fascinating, but ... My thought was not to forget to breathe. I was confused, my sitter had also stretched out his hammock. I didn't want to scare him, so I raise my hand from time to time in the sense that I'm ok. I thought that if he noticed the awful state I was in, he would be scared and that would scare me worse. So I chose to control everything, although I realized that it would not be too good because I no longer had the lucidity that I had on the other trips. I was more and more confused and focused not to forget to breathe. Then, all of a sudden, I heard a hiss in the brain, at one point, a sharp sound: zzzzsst! [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]... From that moment, I realized that I ended my life! Time stood still, I was stuck in a frame, both visually and aurally. The jam lasted long enough, in the order of tens of minutes, to then move on to the next frame ... the frame image was dark, it was black and white. It was often like a glitch, a distorted digital image. (According to calculations made by me and sitter, this nightmare lasted two hours). [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]I finally managed to get up. I wanted to get out of the hammock, but I fell. My partner helped me up, but I couldn't and I got on my knees. I know that when he came to me I saw a lot of doubles ... I saw him multiplied 7-8 times. Like the sound of his voice, the sound I perceived with interruptions ... with delay. Sitting in a hammock, I could see everything pixelated. The trees had become transparent, I could actually see through them. I was diluted, I had no body, I was air. I had ego death and body out experience. I didn't see myself from above but I felt like I was completely diluted. Everything seemed unnatural, artificial, fake, digital. I could see the trees as skins, they were bare on the inside, like errors in games in which you realize that the character or object is a skin. I told my partner that it's sad if we're in a matrix ... It's really sad and disappointing [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif].. My eyes started to get tired, I could barely see. I got up from the hammock and realized I couldn't think anymore. I realized I had become retarded. I couldn't put two words together. Lucidity was completely gone. I was worried. I realized that something bad had happened in my brain. I couldn't focus on anything at all. I told my partner to play a game ... like a pheasant ... It was almost impossible for me to find words. I panicked, I realized my life was fucked. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]Around 2 o'clock I wanted to eat a sandwich, but it was impossible for me. I drank almost 4 liters of water and 2 liters of orange juice. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]I go back in the hammok...  Noe the nature was fascinating. I couldn't see the pixelation anymore. It was kind of super 3D ... But my thought was to regain my lost lucidity. I asked him to take me out to a clearing space, to the sun because it was cold. Here, the field, the flowers, were fascinating. I lay down on the grass, and the patterns were incredible! Everything moves, ripples and trembles in an infinity of shapes and colors. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]Back in the hammock, I asked him to play music. I had a moment of peace and joy. I was enjoying the moment. But I didn't like watching him. He had a two-colored face, green and black, and consisted only of 1 cm sized pixels. And yes, I could see through it, through those pixels. I looked at the trees below, from the hammock and I was in a super realistic world, like in 8K, a bit similar to the trees in the movie avatar.[/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]It was fascinating. But I was horrified to hear. I could hear his voice echoing ... intermittently, like when a stutterer speaks to you. I could also hear the sound waves spreading. It was like everything was in a liquid. I tried to look at the phone, but it was completely liquefied. I tried to eat a sneaker to give the brain more energy, but I spat immediately. I was thirsty. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]It was 4:30 and we asked him to go out for a walk. I was looking for an open space, a path that would take me out of the amalgam of sensations, to offer a point of stability to the troubled mind I had. I know I keep telling them: I'm so stupid, what I'm doing, I don't want my mother or girlfriend to suffer. ... Why did I take so much? ... I was stupid ... Something I felt and believed with all my being. Things I repeated for hours on end that day, both in thought and verbally. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]Slowly I began to be more lucid, but the auditory hallucination, delay persists. It was awful to hear that, especially since my thoughts were often heard the same way, with interruptions. I said to look for something to give a kill trip. He had read about "benzodiazepines" ... ("diazepam" or "Anxial") ... He called several friends but none of them had one. I remember that a mutual friend calmed me down by phone for a few moments. I wish he was with us too. It was important to hear a conversation, both to have a benchmark of my level of "retardation" and for moral support. I remember him saying to me, "Stop blocking this thing. You are at a level where you can no longer understand through the brain or through the logical processes you know so far. Try to feel and look at the world. At the level you are in now ... and I, I don't give a damn about the experience, I just wanted to get back to "normal". [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]At 5:30 I packed my hammocks and went to the car. The rain was approaching. My lucidity It gradually returned, but the auditory delay did not. I could see small eyes/holes everywhere, in every leaf, and the sky, the sky was full of small red dots interconnected in a perfectly symmetrical pattern, like a net where the spaces between the dots [/font][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]were triangular. I was looking at the car, I could see like traces in the paint, like electrical circuits. I saw the same circuits in the 450ug trip on the phone screen. I had a discussion with the sitter and I was glad that my lucidity had returned. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]The road home was also happy. I behaved naturally, but I was still slow in thought. I had a brain drained of energy, I took op from the pharmacy 1 pill of benzodeazepine and I asked him to take me out of town, somewhere in the woods. On the way, however, I felt like throwing up. I opened the door and vomited. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]I vomited a lot. Instantly, I lost consciousness and had a strong convulsion of 3 seconds in which I felt like I was dead .. I did not realize what world I am in, I was totally disoriented, a horror, a typhoon and a total mess in my head as if that vomit was in my head and brain. They, a little scarred, pulled the car somewhere out of sight of people and I went out to wash. I tried to behave as if nothing had happened, but I realized that the pill would not kill the trip because I had taken it for only 10 minutes and by vomiting I had removed it from my stomach. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]I went to the forest again. Here I walked and admired nature and the fabulous sky. But my mind was blocked from hearing interruptions and staying that way. I called my ex-wife who is a pharmacist and she reassured me by telling me to drink plenty of fluids to get the substance out of the system. Which I had done. Until then, I had drunk about 6 liters of water and 2 liters of juice. While I was talking to her on the phone, with both hands resting on the hood, I could see the same electrical paths / circuits in the car's paint. Curious was the fact that I could not hear her voice interrupted. I even mentioned this to her, telling her that she didn't know what was going on between us. Also, the road I was walking continuously changes its pattern into a multitude of pastel shapes and colors. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]In the evening, at 9 o'clock I ate a big hamburger, forced because I had not eaten anything. The visuals were still strong. It was raining lightly, and at night, although I couldn't see very clearly, the forest was fascinating.  [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]I got home with my sitter, who made sure I didn't miss anything, but I was sad and terrified because I could hear interruptions. Including my thoughts. I was tired and drained of energy, my head hurt, I felt pressure on my forehead and temples. I took a shower and tried to fall asleep. But I couldn't because I could hear in my head the birds I had heard all day in the forest but also the delay of my thoughts. The friend's breathing was also heard with delay, with interruptions. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]All night I read on the net about psychoses, schizophrenia but also heroic guts. 20 hours had passed and I had not left my trip. I know I kept looking at my watch, calculating how much time had passed, waiting and hoping it would pass. I was scared and told myself that I would never take LSD again, even microdoses. I quit reading the moment because I read on Reddit that the best thing you can do in that condition is to quit reading and try to rest. I forced myself to sleep and ignore the delay, but I kept getting up to drink water and urinate ... I was thirsty. I drank a total of 9 liters of water and 2 liters of orange juice. My kidneys hurt. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]At 9 in the morning, when 24 hours had passed, I called a childhood friend to take me to a psychiatric clinic because I could not get rid of that delay. I hadn't slept all night because of overwork stress and because I drank water and went to the toilet countless times. I know that when I threw water on my face, I was actually washing myself with colors. And I experienced this twice that night.[/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif] In the morning, I was handed over by my sitter to this childhood friend, who guided me not to rush to go to the psychiatrist because I will stay with this problem in my medical register but also with the reason, that is the drug ... He told me to we wait another day and if the problem persists, let's go because health is more important than anything. So we decided to wait a little longer. And I did well, because around 12:00 the delay was getting dimmer and rarer. However, the trip was not over. It lasted 29 hours and it still took something if we didn't take a diazepam pill, the pill that took effect only after an hour. At 13:00 I fell asleep for 6 hours. 6 hours of deep sleep. [/font]
[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]When I woke up, everything was back to normal. The next few days I was extremely tired and irritable. And the full return was fixed for 7 days. The 1000ug trip was verry exhaustiv for body and mind.[/font]

I learned not to abuse anymore, but I feel I had a lot to gain from this experience. I can't write too much about the earnings I get because I have to let everything settle. Now, I am almost certain that we live in a virtual world, I understand why in Buddhism it is said that we live in an illusory world called "maya" ... ... I don't care anymore if I don't have children I don't have to whom should I leave what my parents and I agonized over. Things that now seem totally irrelevant and devoid of substance. I also feel that I have reached a level of understanding and spiritual maturity that has given me a boost in my evolution as a human being. I tell you, I am not yet aware of all the changes that have or will occur after this experience. But I feel that now I am another person, much more mature. I don't think I'll take such heroic doses again. But I will gradually climb to 450 as I took in the third trip and I will stop where I maintain my lucidity, exploring at that level. I will also use the substance less often to sediment and digest each experience. 

I set out to use the magic mushroom, psilocybin, in the future, as it has been known to mankind and shamans for thousands of years. And from what I've documented, it's much more spiritual. I also want to use DMT, as it is the most powerful psychedelic substance. The substance that is found naturally in our brain. The human brain and the world around us hide countless secrets. 

Once I entered this territory, it is impossible for me to ever want to go back: now, I want or I don't want, I am a psychonaut who is trying to discover new pieces in this puzzle called life. But, everything with respect to substances. I knew I had to take it gradually; but I am more courageous and unconscious by nature. 

I DO NOT RECOMMEND SUCH BIG DOSE !  

And yes, some people has remain with problems for entirely life. 

[font=arial, sans-serif]Can trigger schizophrenia[/font][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif] or HPPD - Persisting Perception Disorder. Especialy on yang people [font=arial, sans-serif][font=arial, sans-serif]who do not have a developed brain or in people who have a family history of psychosis or [font=arial, sans-serif]schizophrenia[/font]. (28-30 yo is the age at which the brain fully matures.) ... In the occipital lobe, for example, there are no changes after the age of 20, while in the frontal lobe, new connections are formed even at 30 years. In parallel, the activity of the brain changes. In the case of children, the adiacent regions work together, and in the case of adults, the separate regions work together to analyze the information more effectively. [/font][/font][/font]

[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif][font=arial, sans-serif][font=arial, sans-serif][font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]Do not forget, I am 44y.o. Please don't think: he could, I can too. Even I am afraid of such doses. Many immature young people write on redditt that they also took 30 stamps ... but more than likely they were of a very low concentration, maybe even below 50ug, or maybe they were not impregnated with LSD at all. Empty tabs.[/font][/font][/font][/font]



[font=IBMPlexSans, Arial, sans-serif]BE WISE AND TAKE IT GRADUALLY![/font]

I hope this trip report will be a lesson for everybody!
 
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Hi and welcome ! I'm not sur to understand why u used Google Translate. It mostly is a french speaking forum, so next time u can directly translate to french if u want :) Also i recommand Deepl which is for me more efficient than google translate and more respecful of the form. For the moment i dont have time to read ur whole post but i will do it look's very interesting...Bye
 

haxmail

Matrice périnatale
Inscrit
15 Juin 2020
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I post on the Psychonaut international forum . On Deepl I can not find my language. I am from East
 

Acacia

𝓥𝓪𝓹𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓢𝓱𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓼蒸気の色合い
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25 Mai 2017
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Omg 5 strong tabs I’m glad for you you didn’t have to go to the hospital.
Great trip reports though thanks for sharing your story
 

Aiskhynê

Chatterrante acidulée
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25 Déc 2011
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4 112
I found your report very interesting. It reminds me of my first trips.

As you understand, you have to go gradually with the psychedelics.

I have made a trip like yours with mushrooms.

It brought me a deep detachment from life and myself, that helped me a lot.

I hope it will be the same for you and that you will quickly recover from this experience.

I was thinking about repeating a trip like this with LSD, i haven't done it before hundreds of other trips. Now I feel ready to relive to similar experience.
 

haxmail

Matrice périnatale
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15 Juin 2020
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Aiskhynê a dit:
I have made a trip like yours with mushrooms.

How many grams of mooshrooms? ... and tell me your experience in short.

Aiskhynê a dit:
It brought me a deep detachment from life and myself, that helped me a lot.
I hope it will be the same for you and that you will quickly recover from this experience.

Thank you for your concern! I am fully recovered. And yes, I am more zen, mor detached, more positive. I hope to see more changes in the near future.
-After how long did you start to see the positive changes?

Aiskhynê a dit:
I was thinking about repeating a trip like this with LSD, i haven't done it before hundreds of other trips. Now I feel ready to relive to similar experience.

Please, take it easy and thimk about the danger.
 

Aiskhynê

Chatterrante acidulée
Inscrit
25 Déc 2011
Messages
4 112
It was my first time with mushrooms. I took 1.5 dried grams of Hawaiian mushroom.

I tried to transcribe this experience as well as possible here:
https://www.psychonaut.fr/Thread-Champignons-1-5g-L-éternité-c-est-long?highlight=Éternité
You could translate with this link. ^^

Don't worry, I know what I'm doing and I'm really ready to try it again.

Regarding the changes that this trip brought me, they were immediate.

I wanted to tell you to be careful about the amounts of water you swallow, you can die above 4 liters of water quickly ingested.
 

haxmail

Matrice périnatale
Inscrit
15 Juin 2020
Messages
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Aiskhynê a dit:
Regarding the changes that this trip brought me, they were immediate.

I wanted to tell you to be careful about the amounts of water you swallow, you can die above 4 liters of water quickly ingested.

Yes, same with me. I only wanted to see how the change appeared in others. Thank you. 
... About amount of wather, yes, was a big mistake. I was lucky :)
 
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